CHAPTER FIFTY-ONE
MEL
The first band played and Isaac, Taylor, and Zac were all over it. Of course they were. Zac picked them.
Mel respectfully listened for a song or two before she got bored. Jason recognized some people he had done stunts for in a few films, so he and Mel proceeded to mingle. She watched the women, one by one, visibly swoon over Jason. Just watching how he worked a room and how everyone adored him, she knew his stardom would explode once this movie was released.
To Mel's surprise, this hurt her feelings a little. She liked having Jason all to herself, in her own little world. Sharing him with the entire planet would be difficult on her. He would get wrapped up in Hollywood and
parties and movies and traveling that he would soon forget all about her and she would become yet another face in the crowd.
Before she even knew she said it, a tiny voice creaked out of her. "Don't forget me."
Jason was mid-sentence, telling a story, when his head suddenly whipped to his left. "What?"
She couldn't believe he heard her. She froze, not knowing what to do or say next. She hadn't actually meant to say it out loud at all.
"Um, excuse us for a moment," Jason said to the people he had been talking to. He led Mel to a quiet corner and looked at her, confused. "What are you talking about?"
Mel shrugged shyly. "I've been watching you tonight. The way you light up a conversation, the way you work the room. You're something special. You're a fantastic person and I know that once your movie is released you're going to shoot straight into superstardom and...well I just hope you don't forget the little people."
He smiled, amused. "First of all, I'm not going to be as big an overnight sensation as you think. Sure, people may recognize me on the street a bit but it won't be enough to matter. And secondly, what little people? I don't see any little people here. I see one of the most important people in my life standing right here in front of me--and I don't have a lot of people. I want us to be in each other's lives forever. Hell, we almost have to be. And when you run off and marry Taylor someday, I don't want YOU to forget ME." Then he chuckled. "I want front row seats to THAT show."
"What do you mean, 'when I run off and marry Taylor?' What are you saying?"
"I'm saying I can see it, Mel. Everyone can see it. Even his wife can see it, why do you think she's being so nice to you all of a sudden? It's because she's losing him and she knows it. And Mel--goddammit, Mel, I love you. I've been in love with you since the day I laid eyes on you. But the truth is, we just aren't meant to be. We never were. I know who you're destined to be with and you know who you're destined to be with. You can't deny that you love him."
Mel's eyes filled with tears. She couldn't believe what she was hearing and she didn't know how to feel about it. She couldn't lead her life without Jason in it. What was he saying? What was he doing?
"Do you remember what I said you when we first met? You know, the morning after? About how we came into each other's lives for a reason?"
Mel nodded.
"I think I have an answer now. I believe you came into my life to teach me that I can love someone. Getting over you isn't gonna be that great but now I know that I'm capable--which is something that never really
crossed my mind before. And this time maybe I fell for the wrong woman. Maybe I fell for the right one. Maybe it's just not our time. But I have to admit, I'm glad I fell. I wouldn't trade that feeling for anything in the world."
Mel's lip quivered, trying desperately to hold back the tears that raged behind her eyes.
"And I believe I came into your life to help you find your mana. And tonight, in some crazy, uneventful turn of events, it hit me. Your mana," he said, directing her attention across the room. "Is right there."
Mel's eyes widened. He was pointing directly at Taylor.
"That man right there is your mana. He is who you are. And if he ever gets his head out of his ass he'll be one lucky son of a bitch."
"Jason, what are you doing? What is this?"
"I'm letting you go," he said quietly. "Once and for all, I'm letting you go."
Mel shook her head frantically, tears rolling down her cheeks. "No. No, you can't. I can't do this alone, please. Don't leave me. I need you."
"Emotionally, I have to let you go. But you're my best friend. That will never change. I'll be here for you, no matter what. You and I are in it till the end, period. You couldn't be rid of me if you tried. But emotionally...if you love something, you let it go. If you come back to me, I'll be yours forever. If you don't come back then that means you're happy and that's all I want for you. Mel, I don't want you to feel the pressure anymore. Between me and him--one of has to fold and I've decided it's going to be me. Because I know you love him."
She could only look at him. Wipe her eyes and look at him. She didn't know what to say. She didn't know what to do without that lifeline to hold on to. She needed--she needed...
Well weren't they supposed to be just friends anyway? Hadn't they had this conversation already? The sex they had yesterday wasn't actually supposed to happen per their agreement in Ireland, right? But she wouldn't have minded being in a relationship with him. He was a great man. However, he was smart about his decisions. He wasn't willing to put himself through the heartache of committing to a woman who wasn't all there and she couldn't blame him. If she were in his shoes, she would probably do the same thing he was doing right now.
Her tears dried up as her respect grew for him. She would surely miss the sex and he'd given her more than enough to remember that by. But she valued his friendship and his wisdom. She could tell him anything and he never once judged her. In all honesty, she was grateful to have someone, somewhere, finally help her make some kind of cemented decision on something. She couldn't stand all the 'what if's' and the 'what might have been's' hanging out there like they were. She needed something concrete, something to stick. And if that took Jason removing himself from the relationship game, well then--she had to be grateful for that.
"You'll never know what you mean to me," she said to him, smiling.
"Are we cool, then?" he asked.
Mel dried her cheeks and laughed a little. "Yeah, we're cool. Just as long as you don't disappear on me."
"Scout's honor," he said. "However, this night isn't over. And I'm not quite done dating you tonight."
She smiled as he pulled her close and kissed her.
____________________________________________________
DREW
The silent auction was underway when Drew found herself alone in the restroom, touching up her makeup in the mirror. She wasn't much interested in the silent auction. She was still reeling from her trip around the room with Gerard. She couldn't believe the people she'd met. People she'd idolized since she was a kid, people she idolized now, people she idolized professionally. She smiled at herself in the mirror, not believing where life had put her at this moment in time. Starring in a movie directed by one of Hollywood's most sought-after directors and shaking hands with Academy Award winning actors and Grammy winning musicians. She was finally reaching the place she dreamed of being in and the whole thing was so surreal.
As she finished touching up her lipstick, she heard the restroom door open. And then lock. Startled, she froze in the mirror as Zac rounded the corner. Her heart calming down from the potential terror that
followed the locking of the door, she slowly capped her lipstick and replaced it in her clutch. "You're not supposed to be in here," she said to him in the mirror.
"This was the only place I could get you without being interrupted by directors or actors."
Drew turned around and leaned against the counter to face Zac in person. "You're missing the auction. Shouldn't you be buying your trophy wife something nice?"
"Shouldn't you be buying your British boyfriend a matching bracelet?"
Drew glared at him. "Okay. Right here and now. Out with it. What is your problem? Why are you being such an ass lately? This isn't like you."
Zac sighed in defeat. "Look, I'm trying really hard here. I tell you--I tell you how I'm feeling and you--I haven't heard a word about it since. It's been a month. Am I supposed to take that as a hint? Cut my losses?"
"Zac, I told you I needed time. Things are moving so fast for me, sometimes I forget what my own name is."
"Is it him?"
Drew looked back at him in confusion.
"Gerard," he continued. "Is it Gerard? Do you have feelings for him? Is that why you need time?"
"What? No! Gerard and I are simply friends, that's it. And to be honest, I kind of resent your jealousy towards him."
"I'm not jealous. Who said anything about being jealous?"
"Please. It's written all over your face."
Zac moved closer to her. "Okay, fine. Maybe I'm jealous. Do you blame me? Look at you. At one point you belonged to me. And forgive me if I still want that but I need to know you feel the same way. I need to know where to go from here."
This was Drew's cue. It was almost as if she waited on someone to yell "Action!" Except that she had forgotten her lines. Lines that she'd had memorized for months. Years, even. 'Yes, Zac. Yes. I miss you and I love you and I want you all to myself. I want us to be happy together. I want to belong to you again.' Those were her lines.
Instead, she ad-libbed. "I don't know," she said quietly.
Zac sighed, frustrated, and leaned against the counter next to her. "I don't think that's a good enough answer."
And then Drew became annoyed. "Look. I waited on you for months. Now it's your turn to wait for me. Give me a chance to figure this all out. Don't make me give you a response right here in this moment because you'll be disappointed."
Zac looked taken aback. "Um, okay. Okay. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have come at you like this. I was disrespectful. I think I've been around Tay too much lately..."
A small, knowing smile crept across Drew's face. "Yeah, I was beginning to see a little of that in there." Then her smile grew bigger. "I can't wait to see what happens when someone sees you walking out of the ladies' room."
Zac smiled and looked toward the door. "Shit. I didn't even think of that. I'll think of something." He leaned over and gently kissed her cheek. "By the way, I never did get to tell you how beautiful you are tonight."
And with that, Zac was out the door, leaving Drew's heart in a confused flutter.
_______________________________________________________
MEL
Mel was so thrilled that she didn't have to have anything to do with the auction. There were some great items up for grabs and she hoped they raised a lot of money for the foundation. Even the guys had submitted one
of Zac's original autographed paintings and an autographed guitar. There was expensive jewelry, art, and all kinds of memorabilia donated by actors and musicians alike.
After cruising the auction items, and placing a couple of bids for herself, Mel found herself alone at the table with Taylor. He was the last person she wanted to be trapped with. So she decided to suck it up and make small talk. "So you're not shopping?"
Obviously surprised that she'd spoken to him, he answered, "Nah. I don't really need any more junk. I just made my own donation straight to the foundation."
Mel found herself smiling. "Well that was good of you."
He smiled softly back. "So you're not shopping either?"
"I placed a couple of bids."
"What did you bid on?"
Mel felt herself blushing shyly. She felt superficial compared to him, who had just forgone the "junk" and wrote a check straight to the charity. "There are a couple of sparkly items that caught my eye."
"I bet I can guess which ones."
"I wish you wouldn't."
"You never did like gifts."
"They make me feel cheap."
"What if someone just WANTS to give you something?"
"Are you hinting at something?"
"No, not at all. It was just a simple question. I mean does this include Christmas and birthdays, too?"
"Tay," she said, matter-of-factly. "You know me. Not much has changed in ten years."
He smiled and looked down at his hands on the table. "I know."
They were quiet for a moment when Tay asked, "So where's Jason?"
Mel glanced around the room. "Uh, he's around here somewhere. I guess..."
"That didn't sound very confident."
Mel sighed. She knew what was coming next. She didn't want to tell him but she felt like she just couldn't keep it from him. "He let me go," she said quietly.
"He did what?"
She cleared her throat to keep her composure. "He...I shouldn't even be telling you this. Um, he has decided that we are just going to be friends and that he is not going to continue to pursue a relationship with me. I mean, honestly, I wasn't totally aware that that's what was going on but--he knows how I feel. About everything. And it's not that I wanted to lead him on I just--I wasn't sure if I was ready to be let go. And now I kinda feel lost. I don't really have anyone right now and it's scary."
Mel couldn't read Tay's face. There were a couple of different things there she thought she could detect, but wasn't sure. Was there fear? Understanding? Joy? She couldn't read him.
"Don't say that," Tay said. "You're not alone. You have me, you know you do."
Mel smiled and shook her head. "I don't have you. Natalie has you. I'm just a face in the office."
His elbow on the table, Tay rubbed his forehead and then rested his chin in his hand. "So, what, are YOU letting ME go now?"
"I've really been trying..."
Neither one of them were aware the auction had ended and more people began to mill around the room again. Tay checked his watch. "Shit. You're on again."
"Damn. I really wish I could recruit Zac to do this. I really hate this public speaking stuff."
"You're brilliant at it."
Mel stood up and smoothed out her dress, preparing to approach the stage again when Tay caught her by the arm. "Remember that I love you. Don't ever forget that. No matter what."
_______________________________________________
TAYLOR
Taylor watched Mel take her place at the podium as everyone filled their seats at the table once more. She hadn't responded to him, just simply walked away. Had he been too bold? He didn't care.
The bit of info that she shared with him lifted his spirits. He felt like an asshole for it, but he couldn't help it. Maybe Jason had been right, maybe he was some kind of sadistic son of a bitch. But he didn't have to worry about Jason anymore and it felt like a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders. He knew this could change at any given moment and she could run off and elope with him in the next two hours but he knew that would never happen.
He couldn't deny the bout of depression that went along with his newfound joy. 'I don't have you. Natalie has you,' she had said. And he hated it but she was right. She was absolutely right. There was absolutely no chance of carrying on an affair with Mel. He couldn't believe that had even just crossed his mind. It wasn't like that with Mel. Mel didn't deserve to be his other woman. She deserved to be his only woman.
He then glanced over at Natalie and down at her midsection. But then there was this. If only--if only--maybe she would have another miscarriage. It had happened before. Maybe...
He shook the thought out of his mind as he chugged the alcohol from the glass in his hand. At this point he had absolutely no idea what he was drinking. He couldn't believe what had just crossed his mind. About
his own wife. His own unborn child. Mel was right. He was crazy. Maniacal. A lunatic. He was a monster. How did a person live with themselves having the things that he thought about running through their head?
By the time Mel had come down off the stage and exchanged smiles with Jason, Isaac was whisking Tay and Zac away for vocal warm ups while the next band played since they were right after.
They found a room down the hall and Zac started them off. Tay's heart wasn't in it. He knew it wasn't. He could see the frustration all over Ike and Zac. He felt bad but he just couldn't shake himself back to normal. Something had to give. And it was going to give. And it was going to be tonight. He couldn't stand feeling this way anymore.
He found it falling out of his lips as if he were operating on auto-pilot. "Let's play A Song To Sing."
Ike looked surprised. "What? Why? I thought we agreed, no Debbie Downers tonight?"
"It's not THAT bad of a Debbie Downer..."
"It's a complete Debbie Downer," Ike responded. "You can't GET anything positive from that song."
Zac agreed. "Yeah. When our set list includes powerhouses like Great Divide, Fired Up, I've Got Soul, and Scream and Be Free, A Song To Sing kinda just doesn't fit in."
Tay sighed. Zac was completely right. They were only playing a half an hour set. But still..."I think we should play it."
"We don't have time for it," Ike argued.
"Look. Have you guys ever just...needed to get something out? Just get it out and be done with it?"
Ike and Zac only looked at him.
"I just need to get this out. Let's, uh...let's replace MMMBop with it."
"No," Zac said. "No. We have to play MMMBop. We just kinda...have to."
"No we don't. I'm sick of MMMBop, these people don't need to hear MMMBop. Seriously. We'll just cut MMMBop out and throw in Song To Sing. It'll be fine."
Ike and Zac looked at each other and then back at their brother. "Okay, fine," Ike agreed. "We'll cut MMMBop. I'll admit, it wouldn't hurt my feelings not to play it but you know everyone expects it."
Happy that his brothers were seeing things his way, he made a quick adjustment to the list and after warm ups, they went back to the ballroom and waited on Mel to finish introducing them.
Tay was hardly listening. She said something about 3CG and Hanson and being close, personal friends of hers. He was just ready to get this set over with. Taking their places on the small stage, Tay looked out over the room and froze for a moment. He couldn't remember the last time he played in front of this many famous people. What was he, sixteen then? He noticed Mel sitting on his side near the front of the stage, seeing as she had to speak one last time after they finished their set. Seeing her immediately put him at ease, regardless of the circumstances.
Halfway through Great Divide, he could see that everyone seemed to be warming up to them and enjoying themselves. This excited him a little bit and it helped fuel his energy to complete the set.
And then it was time to slow it down. Tay glanced around at his brothers and at Andrew and Demetrius, their backup players, to make sure everyone was on board with the last-minute change. And then he started the song.
"Goodbye four leaf clovers
Hello gone awry
Don't cry, the fight ain't over
Unless you let it pass you by
I'm looking for A Song To Sing
I'm looking for a friend to borrow
I'm looking for my radio
So I might find a heart to follow
I've never been just longing for you lovin'
I've never been just wearin' down to nothin'
I've never been just looking for a reason
So that maybe you'd be thinking of me
All that I have found in reason
Is reason just to not believe
When all that you are left is treason
It's treason just to let it be
I'm looking for A Song To Sing
I'm looking for a friend to borrow
I'm looking for my radio
So I might find a heart to follow
I've never been just longing for your lovin'
I've never been just wearing down to nothin'
I've never been just looking for a reason
So that maybe you'd be thinking of
These blue yonder dreams and secondhand shoes
You're so far gone that you live to lose and
It's too late to go home all alone
You're the tar in that old cigar
And the worn out cable on a cable car and
You're too tired to admit you've got to choose
I'm looking for A Song To Sing
I'm looking for a friend to borrow
I'm looking for my radio
So I might find a heart to follow
I've never been just longing for you lovin'
I've never been just wearin' down to nothin'
I've never been just looking for a reason
So that maybe you'd be thinking of me"
Taylor sang to Mel the entire time. He couldn't help it. He couldn't keep his eyes off of her. Sure he looked out into the room for a time or two to connect with his audience, but really the only audience he cared to connect with was the party of one who sat and stared into his eyes for the entire song.
He smiled as he sang the chorus the second time through. She was mouthing the words to the song. It was one of the many things he loved about her, how she couldn't hear a song and not mouth or sing the lyrics.
It didn't matter where she was or what the situation was. He remembered how adorable it was when she mouthed Happy Birthday when they heard it sung to other tables in restaurants. It was just one of her many little quirks.
It touched him that she still remembered the song. He thought she had completely given up on him and everything he was about for the past ten years. After all, this album was the last tour she was with him on and she had been his biggest supporter every step of the way. It was comforting to know that she still seemed to be, even after all this time and after everything they had already been through during these last few short
months.
After the set had finished up, the guys stayed onstage as Mel finished up the last of her emcee duties. Zac spoke for a couple of minutes and as he spoke, Mel glanced Tay's way. He didn't know what it meant. He
couldn't read her. He had no idea if he had pissed her off or scared her off or if he was just over-analyzing everything. He thought everything had begun to go in a positive direction. They had spoken, civilly. She had smiled at him during their set. What had he done this time?
One thing was for sure, however. Mel never spoke to Taylor for the rest of the night.
_____________________________________________________
MEL
The first band played and Isaac, Taylor, and Zac were all over it. Of course they were. Zac picked them.
Mel respectfully listened for a song or two before she got bored. Jason recognized some people he had done stunts for in a few films, so he and Mel proceeded to mingle. She watched the women, one by one, visibly swoon over Jason. Just watching how he worked a room and how everyone adored him, she knew his stardom would explode once this movie was released.
To Mel's surprise, this hurt her feelings a little. She liked having Jason all to herself, in her own little world. Sharing him with the entire planet would be difficult on her. He would get wrapped up in Hollywood and
parties and movies and traveling that he would soon forget all about her and she would become yet another face in the crowd.
Before she even knew she said it, a tiny voice creaked out of her. "Don't forget me."
Jason was mid-sentence, telling a story, when his head suddenly whipped to his left. "What?"
She couldn't believe he heard her. She froze, not knowing what to do or say next. She hadn't actually meant to say it out loud at all.
"Um, excuse us for a moment," Jason said to the people he had been talking to. He led Mel to a quiet corner and looked at her, confused. "What are you talking about?"
Mel shrugged shyly. "I've been watching you tonight. The way you light up a conversation, the way you work the room. You're something special. You're a fantastic person and I know that once your movie is released you're going to shoot straight into superstardom and...well I just hope you don't forget the little people."
He smiled, amused. "First of all, I'm not going to be as big an overnight sensation as you think. Sure, people may recognize me on the street a bit but it won't be enough to matter. And secondly, what little people? I don't see any little people here. I see one of the most important people in my life standing right here in front of me--and I don't have a lot of people. I want us to be in each other's lives forever. Hell, we almost have to be. And when you run off and marry Taylor someday, I don't want YOU to forget ME." Then he chuckled. "I want front row seats to THAT show."
"What do you mean, 'when I run off and marry Taylor?' What are you saying?"
"I'm saying I can see it, Mel. Everyone can see it. Even his wife can see it, why do you think she's being so nice to you all of a sudden? It's because she's losing him and she knows it. And Mel--goddammit, Mel, I love you. I've been in love with you since the day I laid eyes on you. But the truth is, we just aren't meant to be. We never were. I know who you're destined to be with and you know who you're destined to be with. You can't deny that you love him."
Mel's eyes filled with tears. She couldn't believe what she was hearing and she didn't know how to feel about it. She couldn't lead her life without Jason in it. What was he saying? What was he doing?
"Do you remember what I said you when we first met? You know, the morning after? About how we came into each other's lives for a reason?"
Mel nodded.
"I think I have an answer now. I believe you came into my life to teach me that I can love someone. Getting over you isn't gonna be that great but now I know that I'm capable--which is something that never really
crossed my mind before. And this time maybe I fell for the wrong woman. Maybe I fell for the right one. Maybe it's just not our time. But I have to admit, I'm glad I fell. I wouldn't trade that feeling for anything in the world."
Mel's lip quivered, trying desperately to hold back the tears that raged behind her eyes.
"And I believe I came into your life to help you find your mana. And tonight, in some crazy, uneventful turn of events, it hit me. Your mana," he said, directing her attention across the room. "Is right there."
Mel's eyes widened. He was pointing directly at Taylor.
"That man right there is your mana. He is who you are. And if he ever gets his head out of his ass he'll be one lucky son of a bitch."
"Jason, what are you doing? What is this?"
"I'm letting you go," he said quietly. "Once and for all, I'm letting you go."
Mel shook her head frantically, tears rolling down her cheeks. "No. No, you can't. I can't do this alone, please. Don't leave me. I need you."
"Emotionally, I have to let you go. But you're my best friend. That will never change. I'll be here for you, no matter what. You and I are in it till the end, period. You couldn't be rid of me if you tried. But emotionally...if you love something, you let it go. If you come back to me, I'll be yours forever. If you don't come back then that means you're happy and that's all I want for you. Mel, I don't want you to feel the pressure anymore. Between me and him--one of has to fold and I've decided it's going to be me. Because I know you love him."
She could only look at him. Wipe her eyes and look at him. She didn't know what to say. She didn't know what to do without that lifeline to hold on to. She needed--she needed...
Well weren't they supposed to be just friends anyway? Hadn't they had this conversation already? The sex they had yesterday wasn't actually supposed to happen per their agreement in Ireland, right? But she wouldn't have minded being in a relationship with him. He was a great man. However, he was smart about his decisions. He wasn't willing to put himself through the heartache of committing to a woman who wasn't all there and she couldn't blame him. If she were in his shoes, she would probably do the same thing he was doing right now.
Her tears dried up as her respect grew for him. She would surely miss the sex and he'd given her more than enough to remember that by. But she valued his friendship and his wisdom. She could tell him anything and he never once judged her. In all honesty, she was grateful to have someone, somewhere, finally help her make some kind of cemented decision on something. She couldn't stand all the 'what if's' and the 'what might have been's' hanging out there like they were. She needed something concrete, something to stick. And if that took Jason removing himself from the relationship game, well then--she had to be grateful for that.
"You'll never know what you mean to me," she said to him, smiling.
"Are we cool, then?" he asked.
Mel dried her cheeks and laughed a little. "Yeah, we're cool. Just as long as you don't disappear on me."
"Scout's honor," he said. "However, this night isn't over. And I'm not quite done dating you tonight."
She smiled as he pulled her close and kissed her.
____________________________________________________
DREW
The silent auction was underway when Drew found herself alone in the restroom, touching up her makeup in the mirror. She wasn't much interested in the silent auction. She was still reeling from her trip around the room with Gerard. She couldn't believe the people she'd met. People she'd idolized since she was a kid, people she idolized now, people she idolized professionally. She smiled at herself in the mirror, not believing where life had put her at this moment in time. Starring in a movie directed by one of Hollywood's most sought-after directors and shaking hands with Academy Award winning actors and Grammy winning musicians. She was finally reaching the place she dreamed of being in and the whole thing was so surreal.
As she finished touching up her lipstick, she heard the restroom door open. And then lock. Startled, she froze in the mirror as Zac rounded the corner. Her heart calming down from the potential terror that
followed the locking of the door, she slowly capped her lipstick and replaced it in her clutch. "You're not supposed to be in here," she said to him in the mirror.
"This was the only place I could get you without being interrupted by directors or actors."
Drew turned around and leaned against the counter to face Zac in person. "You're missing the auction. Shouldn't you be buying your trophy wife something nice?"
"Shouldn't you be buying your British boyfriend a matching bracelet?"
Drew glared at him. "Okay. Right here and now. Out with it. What is your problem? Why are you being such an ass lately? This isn't like you."
Zac sighed in defeat. "Look, I'm trying really hard here. I tell you--I tell you how I'm feeling and you--I haven't heard a word about it since. It's been a month. Am I supposed to take that as a hint? Cut my losses?"
"Zac, I told you I needed time. Things are moving so fast for me, sometimes I forget what my own name is."
"Is it him?"
Drew looked back at him in confusion.
"Gerard," he continued. "Is it Gerard? Do you have feelings for him? Is that why you need time?"
"What? No! Gerard and I are simply friends, that's it. And to be honest, I kind of resent your jealousy towards him."
"I'm not jealous. Who said anything about being jealous?"
"Please. It's written all over your face."
Zac moved closer to her. "Okay, fine. Maybe I'm jealous. Do you blame me? Look at you. At one point you belonged to me. And forgive me if I still want that but I need to know you feel the same way. I need to know where to go from here."
This was Drew's cue. It was almost as if she waited on someone to yell "Action!" Except that she had forgotten her lines. Lines that she'd had memorized for months. Years, even. 'Yes, Zac. Yes. I miss you and I love you and I want you all to myself. I want us to be happy together. I want to belong to you again.' Those were her lines.
Instead, she ad-libbed. "I don't know," she said quietly.
Zac sighed, frustrated, and leaned against the counter next to her. "I don't think that's a good enough answer."
And then Drew became annoyed. "Look. I waited on you for months. Now it's your turn to wait for me. Give me a chance to figure this all out. Don't make me give you a response right here in this moment because you'll be disappointed."
Zac looked taken aback. "Um, okay. Okay. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have come at you like this. I was disrespectful. I think I've been around Tay too much lately..."
A small, knowing smile crept across Drew's face. "Yeah, I was beginning to see a little of that in there." Then her smile grew bigger. "I can't wait to see what happens when someone sees you walking out of the ladies' room."
Zac smiled and looked toward the door. "Shit. I didn't even think of that. I'll think of something." He leaned over and gently kissed her cheek. "By the way, I never did get to tell you how beautiful you are tonight."
And with that, Zac was out the door, leaving Drew's heart in a confused flutter.
_______________________________________________________
MEL
Mel was so thrilled that she didn't have to have anything to do with the auction. There were some great items up for grabs and she hoped they raised a lot of money for the foundation. Even the guys had submitted one
of Zac's original autographed paintings and an autographed guitar. There was expensive jewelry, art, and all kinds of memorabilia donated by actors and musicians alike.
After cruising the auction items, and placing a couple of bids for herself, Mel found herself alone at the table with Taylor. He was the last person she wanted to be trapped with. So she decided to suck it up and make small talk. "So you're not shopping?"
Obviously surprised that she'd spoken to him, he answered, "Nah. I don't really need any more junk. I just made my own donation straight to the foundation."
Mel found herself smiling. "Well that was good of you."
He smiled softly back. "So you're not shopping either?"
"I placed a couple of bids."
"What did you bid on?"
Mel felt herself blushing shyly. She felt superficial compared to him, who had just forgone the "junk" and wrote a check straight to the charity. "There are a couple of sparkly items that caught my eye."
"I bet I can guess which ones."
"I wish you wouldn't."
"You never did like gifts."
"They make me feel cheap."
"What if someone just WANTS to give you something?"
"Are you hinting at something?"
"No, not at all. It was just a simple question. I mean does this include Christmas and birthdays, too?"
"Tay," she said, matter-of-factly. "You know me. Not much has changed in ten years."
He smiled and looked down at his hands on the table. "I know."
They were quiet for a moment when Tay asked, "So where's Jason?"
Mel glanced around the room. "Uh, he's around here somewhere. I guess..."
"That didn't sound very confident."
Mel sighed. She knew what was coming next. She didn't want to tell him but she felt like she just couldn't keep it from him. "He let me go," she said quietly.
"He did what?"
She cleared her throat to keep her composure. "He...I shouldn't even be telling you this. Um, he has decided that we are just going to be friends and that he is not going to continue to pursue a relationship with me. I mean, honestly, I wasn't totally aware that that's what was going on but--he knows how I feel. About everything. And it's not that I wanted to lead him on I just--I wasn't sure if I was ready to be let go. And now I kinda feel lost. I don't really have anyone right now and it's scary."
Mel couldn't read Tay's face. There were a couple of different things there she thought she could detect, but wasn't sure. Was there fear? Understanding? Joy? She couldn't read him.
"Don't say that," Tay said. "You're not alone. You have me, you know you do."
Mel smiled and shook her head. "I don't have you. Natalie has you. I'm just a face in the office."
His elbow on the table, Tay rubbed his forehead and then rested his chin in his hand. "So, what, are YOU letting ME go now?"
"I've really been trying..."
Neither one of them were aware the auction had ended and more people began to mill around the room again. Tay checked his watch. "Shit. You're on again."
"Damn. I really wish I could recruit Zac to do this. I really hate this public speaking stuff."
"You're brilliant at it."
Mel stood up and smoothed out her dress, preparing to approach the stage again when Tay caught her by the arm. "Remember that I love you. Don't ever forget that. No matter what."
_______________________________________________
TAYLOR
Taylor watched Mel take her place at the podium as everyone filled their seats at the table once more. She hadn't responded to him, just simply walked away. Had he been too bold? He didn't care.
The bit of info that she shared with him lifted his spirits. He felt like an asshole for it, but he couldn't help it. Maybe Jason had been right, maybe he was some kind of sadistic son of a bitch. But he didn't have to worry about Jason anymore and it felt like a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders. He knew this could change at any given moment and she could run off and elope with him in the next two hours but he knew that would never happen.
He couldn't deny the bout of depression that went along with his newfound joy. 'I don't have you. Natalie has you,' she had said. And he hated it but she was right. She was absolutely right. There was absolutely no chance of carrying on an affair with Mel. He couldn't believe that had even just crossed his mind. It wasn't like that with Mel. Mel didn't deserve to be his other woman. She deserved to be his only woman.
He then glanced over at Natalie and down at her midsection. But then there was this. If only--if only--maybe she would have another miscarriage. It had happened before. Maybe...
He shook the thought out of his mind as he chugged the alcohol from the glass in his hand. At this point he had absolutely no idea what he was drinking. He couldn't believe what had just crossed his mind. About
his own wife. His own unborn child. Mel was right. He was crazy. Maniacal. A lunatic. He was a monster. How did a person live with themselves having the things that he thought about running through their head?
By the time Mel had come down off the stage and exchanged smiles with Jason, Isaac was whisking Tay and Zac away for vocal warm ups while the next band played since they were right after.
They found a room down the hall and Zac started them off. Tay's heart wasn't in it. He knew it wasn't. He could see the frustration all over Ike and Zac. He felt bad but he just couldn't shake himself back to normal. Something had to give. And it was going to give. And it was going to be tonight. He couldn't stand feeling this way anymore.
He found it falling out of his lips as if he were operating on auto-pilot. "Let's play A Song To Sing."
Ike looked surprised. "What? Why? I thought we agreed, no Debbie Downers tonight?"
"It's not THAT bad of a Debbie Downer..."
"It's a complete Debbie Downer," Ike responded. "You can't GET anything positive from that song."
Zac agreed. "Yeah. When our set list includes powerhouses like Great Divide, Fired Up, I've Got Soul, and Scream and Be Free, A Song To Sing kinda just doesn't fit in."
Tay sighed. Zac was completely right. They were only playing a half an hour set. But still..."I think we should play it."
"We don't have time for it," Ike argued.
"Look. Have you guys ever just...needed to get something out? Just get it out and be done with it?"
Ike and Zac only looked at him.
"I just need to get this out. Let's, uh...let's replace MMMBop with it."
"No," Zac said. "No. We have to play MMMBop. We just kinda...have to."
"No we don't. I'm sick of MMMBop, these people don't need to hear MMMBop. Seriously. We'll just cut MMMBop out and throw in Song To Sing. It'll be fine."
Ike and Zac looked at each other and then back at their brother. "Okay, fine," Ike agreed. "We'll cut MMMBop. I'll admit, it wouldn't hurt my feelings not to play it but you know everyone expects it."
Happy that his brothers were seeing things his way, he made a quick adjustment to the list and after warm ups, they went back to the ballroom and waited on Mel to finish introducing them.
Tay was hardly listening. She said something about 3CG and Hanson and being close, personal friends of hers. He was just ready to get this set over with. Taking their places on the small stage, Tay looked out over the room and froze for a moment. He couldn't remember the last time he played in front of this many famous people. What was he, sixteen then? He noticed Mel sitting on his side near the front of the stage, seeing as she had to speak one last time after they finished their set. Seeing her immediately put him at ease, regardless of the circumstances.
Halfway through Great Divide, he could see that everyone seemed to be warming up to them and enjoying themselves. This excited him a little bit and it helped fuel his energy to complete the set.
And then it was time to slow it down. Tay glanced around at his brothers and at Andrew and Demetrius, their backup players, to make sure everyone was on board with the last-minute change. And then he started the song.
"Goodbye four leaf clovers
Hello gone awry
Don't cry, the fight ain't over
Unless you let it pass you by
I'm looking for A Song To Sing
I'm looking for a friend to borrow
I'm looking for my radio
So I might find a heart to follow
I've never been just longing for you lovin'
I've never been just wearin' down to nothin'
I've never been just looking for a reason
So that maybe you'd be thinking of me
All that I have found in reason
Is reason just to not believe
When all that you are left is treason
It's treason just to let it be
I'm looking for A Song To Sing
I'm looking for a friend to borrow
I'm looking for my radio
So I might find a heart to follow
I've never been just longing for your lovin'
I've never been just wearing down to nothin'
I've never been just looking for a reason
So that maybe you'd be thinking of
These blue yonder dreams and secondhand shoes
You're so far gone that you live to lose and
It's too late to go home all alone
You're the tar in that old cigar
And the worn out cable on a cable car and
You're too tired to admit you've got to choose
I'm looking for A Song To Sing
I'm looking for a friend to borrow
I'm looking for my radio
So I might find a heart to follow
I've never been just longing for you lovin'
I've never been just wearin' down to nothin'
I've never been just looking for a reason
So that maybe you'd be thinking of me"
Taylor sang to Mel the entire time. He couldn't help it. He couldn't keep his eyes off of her. Sure he looked out into the room for a time or two to connect with his audience, but really the only audience he cared to connect with was the party of one who sat and stared into his eyes for the entire song.
He smiled as he sang the chorus the second time through. She was mouthing the words to the song. It was one of the many things he loved about her, how she couldn't hear a song and not mouth or sing the lyrics.
It didn't matter where she was or what the situation was. He remembered how adorable it was when she mouthed Happy Birthday when they heard it sung to other tables in restaurants. It was just one of her many little quirks.
It touched him that she still remembered the song. He thought she had completely given up on him and everything he was about for the past ten years. After all, this album was the last tour she was with him on and she had been his biggest supporter every step of the way. It was comforting to know that she still seemed to be, even after all this time and after everything they had already been through during these last few short
months.
After the set had finished up, the guys stayed onstage as Mel finished up the last of her emcee duties. Zac spoke for a couple of minutes and as he spoke, Mel glanced Tay's way. He didn't know what it meant. He
couldn't read her. He had no idea if he had pissed her off or scared her off or if he was just over-analyzing everything. He thought everything had begun to go in a positive direction. They had spoken, civilly. She had smiled at him during their set. What had he done this time?
One thing was for sure, however. Mel never spoke to Taylor for the rest of the night.
_____________________________________________________