CHAPTER FIVE
MEL
Mel's head killed her. It throbbed as she opened her eyes to the blinding sunlight that shone through the Brownstone's bay windows. What in the hell had she been thinking last night?
She had woken up just long enough to read over the Hanson review that Drew had written for her. Thankfully
it hardly needed any revision. Just a couple of punctuation adjustments and a couple of word replacements, but otherwise the review was just fine. Of which she was grateful because her blurry vision couldn't handle much more.
Now her feat of the day would be attempting to get off the couch and getting herself back to feeling like a functioning member of society instead of the zombie she felt like right now. With every move she made her head throbbed and her stomach wasn't treating her much better.
She sat up for a few minutes and then shuffled into the kitchen. She downed some Advil and water then searched the kitchen for a bagel. She didn't want to eat anything but she knew she needed something. A couple of bites would do her some good.
After half a bagel, Mel started up the coffee pot and then slowly retreated to the bathroom. She had to stop by the Times today. She had no deadline today but she at least needed to check in to let them know she was alive. She was one of the lucky ones. She had a home office that she was allowed to work out of and didn't need to slave away at a cubicle for eight hours a day at the. She knew that the death of her husband had something to do with the leniency they gave her. At first the protested the offer, but soon she embraced it. She was grateful for Bob Sheldon, her boss, for understanding her needs and feelings at the time and for having enough trust in her to handle her work outside the office. "But I still need to see your face once or twice a week," he had told her. She had absolutely no problem with that.
After she had showered and dressed, had a cup of coffee, and decided she felt well enough to brave the city
for the day, she decided to stop by Drew's room on her way out the door to thank her for her help the previous night. She owed her big time.
Mel lightly knocked and cracked Drew's door open enough to peek her head in. Drew was not in bed. As a matter of fact, it looked like she hadn't even BEEN in bed, as it was still made from the day before. Opening the door the rest of the way and stepping into the room, she looked around and saw no Drew. She listened to see if maybe she was in her bathroom. Nothing.
Mel was just about to give up when she spied a mass of blonde hair in a lounge chair on her balcony. "Oh, Drew," Mel said to herself out loud as she crossed the room and opened the balcony door.
There was Drew, curled up in the chair, wrapped in a blanket, phone in hand, dead to the world. The woman could sleep through an earthquake. How the sun didn't wake her was a mystery to Mel. She was just lucky it didn't rain through the night.
Mel gently shook her. "Drew. Come on, wake up."
Drew stirred and began to open her eyes then quickly squeezed them shut, sheilding them with the back of
her free hand. "Uugh, what the hell?" she asked as she stirred and stretched.
"You're outside. How long have you been out here?"
Drew groaned, sleepily. "I talked to Zac last night," she said, her voice groggy with sleep.
Mel swore she was talking in her sleep. "What?"
Drew slowly sat up and stretched and rubbed her eyes. She took a minute to get herself a little more woken up and then repeated herself. "I talked to Zac last night."
Mel was still stunned. "Wha--how?"
"He gave Big Willie a note to give to me. It said 'miss you call me' so I did."
Mel wasn't quite sure what to say. Drew had every right to talk to whomever she wanted. Mel was the one who had the problem, not Drew. But while it had been ten years since she had any contact with Taylor or his brothers, it never occurred to her that Drew may actually have been missing Zac. Mel felt like a horrible friend. She was so focused on her own loathing that when she made it clear she wanted to know or hear nothing Hanson-related for as long as she lived, she hadn't taken into account that maybe Drew had some issues of her own that needed working out that she SHOULD have been able to come to Mel for, but couldn't.
But what was done was done. And it was getting so crazy for Mel already that she decided that since this is obviously happening whether she liked it or not so she might as well just let it happen.
"So," Mel continued. "What did you guys talk about?"
"It wasn't a very long conversation. It was kinda weird but at the same time it was like we never lost touch. It just felt so natural. We even joked about you and Tay having issues. It was literally just like yesterday."
Mel sat in thought. Drew was right. It was crazy. Here it was ten years later and Mel was mad at Tay all over again. But over what? Tay did and said some heinous things. And she knew why. She knew the source of his rage and she never once let anyone know it because she didn't want to believe it herself.
She knew that Tay had met Natalie during that last tour. Though nothing had come of their meeting by the time all of his and Mel's problems started, she knew Natalie was the source of it. He had met Natalie at the beginning of the tour. Mel had found her phone number in the pocket of Tay's pants and burnt it up with a
lighter while he was onstage one night a couple nights later. So she knew he hadn't had contact with Natalie. But losing her number ate at him and she knew it, even thought he hadn't said a word. That was when their fighting became tumultuous and their relationship became intolerable, to them and the people around them. That was the summer she and Ike had slept together on the bus after they found themselves alone and in deep, deep conversation. One thing had led to another and what happened, happened. She began to felt as guilty as Tay did and their guilt fueled the fire until that last day...
And here they were.
Mel and Drew were in NYC. Natalie and her friend Kate had won the battle and married both Tay and Zac and had built lives with them. They were living the dreams that Mel and Drew had tried to build up. It was crazy. It was as if they traded one set of best friends in for another. Mel couldn't help but resent that, probably more than anything else. And she knew deep down, Drew held that same resentment.
"He wants to see me," Drew said, interrupting Mel's thoughts.
"Really?"
"Yeah. I want to see him, too. I think it would do us good to see each other."
"Yeah," Mel agreed, still lost in her thoughts.
"Maybe you and Tay should talk."
That alerted Mel back to full attention. "That will never happen. I have nothing to say to him. It's over. It's been over. If any of it was meant to be, it would have been and it wasn't. And I'm glad. Because then I
wouldn't have had the opportunity to meet John. And John was ten times the man Taylor Hanson will ever be, even in death. I'm glad you and Zac are reconnecting. It will be good for you. I'm truly glad. And I have no problem socializing with neither he nor Ike. Not a problem at all. But if Tay is anywhere involved, I'll have nothing to do with it."
Drew looked at Mel skeptically. "Mel, you know how this works. You get one, you get them all."
"Not if I don't want them all."
Drew shook her head in response.
"Anyway, so when are you meeting?" Mel continued.
"We didn't get that far. Soon, I hope. We're keeping in touch. He says he doesn't cheat on his wife and he doesn't want me to be his mistress. What does that mean?"
"That means you need to watch yourself and don't let him turn into the same asshole his older brother is."
"Mel, Tay never actually slept with Natalie. He never even talked to her. YOU are the one who slept with
Ike--"
"A fact that will NEVER see the light of day," Mel said in a hushed voice. "And anyway what Tay did the day I left him trumps anything I had ever done in that relationship. He should have NEVER laid a hand on me."
"Okay, maybe this is too soon," Drew said, standing up.
"No, this is never," Mel responded.
"Do you have a problem with me talking to Zac? Because if you do--"
"No. I have no problem with it at all. Promise. I wouldn't mind catching up with him myself. I can take him."
Both girls laughed and headed back inside the apartment.
____________________________________________
TAYLOR
Taylor Hanson hardly slept the previous night. He knew Zac hadn't either. He had heard him get in and out of his bunk soon after lights out. He knew this show in--where the hell was he? Anyway, he knew this show was surely going to suck. Ike would be so pissed.
Taylor was the first one out of bed, bright and early at 7am. He didn't have to call Natalie for another hour. That was one of their routines. When he was on the road, they tried to speak for a minimum of three times per day. 8am was the first phone call. Sometimes they Skyped. Most times they just talked over the phone. Sometimes he felt guilty that she had to be alone for so much time when she wasn't touring with him. Sure she had Kate and Nikki around, but it wasn't the same for her. They cherished his time at home when he wasn't working.
And he loved Natalie. If he didn't love her, he wouldn't have married her. Even though the engagement and wedding was sped up due to her sudden pregnancy. Which unfortunately had crossed his mind every day of their married life. But if he didn't love her, he certainly wouldn't stayed married to her for ten years. Right?
Of course he was right.
But for the moment, he found himself with his laptop on the online version of the New York Times,
frantically searching for the review of last night's New York show written by a one Melody Bradshaw.
Bradshaw.
He had never thought of her as anything but Banks. And back when they were happy, they discussed her
being Hanson. But never any other name.
And then a widow. She was a widow. He was in his tenth year of a relatively successful marriage, with a career that he loved, and she was a widow. She had loved a man after him and that man had died. He felt guilty that he couldn't have been there for her during that time.
Who was he kidding?
"She did us proud." Ike had emerged from the back of the bus, waving his phone in the air.
Tay snapped back to reality. "Huh?"
"Mel. Her review. It's really good. I was kinda nervous about it."
"Oh," Tay said. "Yeah..."
"Except she didn't write it," Zac butted in, squeezing through the doorway past Ike, and taking an empty
seat beside Tay.
Ike and Tay looked at Zac completely perplexed.
"Come on," Zac continued. "Ike, you saw her last night. You smelled her last night. She was in no condition to write a friggin article. Drew wrote it."
"Drew?" Tay said.
Ike massaged the bridge of his nose. "Oh god, there's two of them now."
"Yeah," Zac said, smiling. "Apparently they're still roomies. In New York."
"How do you KNOW this?" Tay asked.
"Drew told me."
Ike found himself in a state of complete annoyance. How could his brothers be such idiots? "What, now you're talking to Drew? What the hell is wrong with you guys? 'Till death do us part,' those words ring a bell to you?"
"Oh come on, Ike, it is nothing like that," Zac said. "There is absolutely nothing wrong with connecting with old friends. So there's a little history, so what? We're all adults now with our own lives. There is absolutely nothing to get all bent out of shape about here."
"Yeah, maybe for one of you," Ike muttered.
"What is that supposed to mean?" Tay asked, suddenly.
Ike sat down and faced Tay. "Look. You are my brother and I love you. You have a heart of gold. You are loyal and you would do nothing to harm your marriage. But you are also passionate, and sometimes too passionate. I know, Zac and I both know, that deep deep down in your heart Mel is still there. You never really let her go. But if there's any time to let her go, it's right now. I honestly don't think it is a good idea that you contact her again. What you two had, for your age, was freakin' phenomenal. There's no doubt about it. You guys had a love people only dream of. But that was also your first. You don't forget it, you just remember it. And for you, it needs to stay a memory."
"Ike...I don't know what to do."
"I am telling you what to do."
"It's a lot easier said. Seriously. I saw her last night and it felt like ten years ago all over again. It was like nothing ever changed. I forgot who I was, I forgot where--it felt like--"
"Like Natalie never existed."
"I didn't want to say that."
"You didn't have to."
Tay ran his hands through his hair and rested his head in his hands.
"Tay, I understand that you are shaken up a little bit," Ike continued. "It's going to affect you a little bit when you see an ex. It's natural. But you need to remember, you are married. You can NOT let something like this break up your marriage. Your marriage is way more important than whatever part of your body you decide to think with."
Zac interjected. "That's a little harsh."
"It's also a little true," Ike retorted.
Tay knew it was true. He didn't want to break up his marriage. Not for a minute. But he had this nagging feeling he had to get rid of and he had to find a way to do it. And fast. And he knew where to start.
He had a name, a city, and an employer. Now he just had to use the information he had to work with.
And he didn't dare tell a single soul.
MEL
Mel's head killed her. It throbbed as she opened her eyes to the blinding sunlight that shone through the Brownstone's bay windows. What in the hell had she been thinking last night?
She had woken up just long enough to read over the Hanson review that Drew had written for her. Thankfully
it hardly needed any revision. Just a couple of punctuation adjustments and a couple of word replacements, but otherwise the review was just fine. Of which she was grateful because her blurry vision couldn't handle much more.
Now her feat of the day would be attempting to get off the couch and getting herself back to feeling like a functioning member of society instead of the zombie she felt like right now. With every move she made her head throbbed and her stomach wasn't treating her much better.
She sat up for a few minutes and then shuffled into the kitchen. She downed some Advil and water then searched the kitchen for a bagel. She didn't want to eat anything but she knew she needed something. A couple of bites would do her some good.
After half a bagel, Mel started up the coffee pot and then slowly retreated to the bathroom. She had to stop by the Times today. She had no deadline today but she at least needed to check in to let them know she was alive. She was one of the lucky ones. She had a home office that she was allowed to work out of and didn't need to slave away at a cubicle for eight hours a day at the. She knew that the death of her husband had something to do with the leniency they gave her. At first the protested the offer, but soon she embraced it. She was grateful for Bob Sheldon, her boss, for understanding her needs and feelings at the time and for having enough trust in her to handle her work outside the office. "But I still need to see your face once or twice a week," he had told her. She had absolutely no problem with that.
After she had showered and dressed, had a cup of coffee, and decided she felt well enough to brave the city
for the day, she decided to stop by Drew's room on her way out the door to thank her for her help the previous night. She owed her big time.
Mel lightly knocked and cracked Drew's door open enough to peek her head in. Drew was not in bed. As a matter of fact, it looked like she hadn't even BEEN in bed, as it was still made from the day before. Opening the door the rest of the way and stepping into the room, she looked around and saw no Drew. She listened to see if maybe she was in her bathroom. Nothing.
Mel was just about to give up when she spied a mass of blonde hair in a lounge chair on her balcony. "Oh, Drew," Mel said to herself out loud as she crossed the room and opened the balcony door.
There was Drew, curled up in the chair, wrapped in a blanket, phone in hand, dead to the world. The woman could sleep through an earthquake. How the sun didn't wake her was a mystery to Mel. She was just lucky it didn't rain through the night.
Mel gently shook her. "Drew. Come on, wake up."
Drew stirred and began to open her eyes then quickly squeezed them shut, sheilding them with the back of
her free hand. "Uugh, what the hell?" she asked as she stirred and stretched.
"You're outside. How long have you been out here?"
Drew groaned, sleepily. "I talked to Zac last night," she said, her voice groggy with sleep.
Mel swore she was talking in her sleep. "What?"
Drew slowly sat up and stretched and rubbed her eyes. She took a minute to get herself a little more woken up and then repeated herself. "I talked to Zac last night."
Mel was still stunned. "Wha--how?"
"He gave Big Willie a note to give to me. It said 'miss you call me' so I did."
Mel wasn't quite sure what to say. Drew had every right to talk to whomever she wanted. Mel was the one who had the problem, not Drew. But while it had been ten years since she had any contact with Taylor or his brothers, it never occurred to her that Drew may actually have been missing Zac. Mel felt like a horrible friend. She was so focused on her own loathing that when she made it clear she wanted to know or hear nothing Hanson-related for as long as she lived, she hadn't taken into account that maybe Drew had some issues of her own that needed working out that she SHOULD have been able to come to Mel for, but couldn't.
But what was done was done. And it was getting so crazy for Mel already that she decided that since this is obviously happening whether she liked it or not so she might as well just let it happen.
"So," Mel continued. "What did you guys talk about?"
"It wasn't a very long conversation. It was kinda weird but at the same time it was like we never lost touch. It just felt so natural. We even joked about you and Tay having issues. It was literally just like yesterday."
Mel sat in thought. Drew was right. It was crazy. Here it was ten years later and Mel was mad at Tay all over again. But over what? Tay did and said some heinous things. And she knew why. She knew the source of his rage and she never once let anyone know it because she didn't want to believe it herself.
She knew that Tay had met Natalie during that last tour. Though nothing had come of their meeting by the time all of his and Mel's problems started, she knew Natalie was the source of it. He had met Natalie at the beginning of the tour. Mel had found her phone number in the pocket of Tay's pants and burnt it up with a
lighter while he was onstage one night a couple nights later. So she knew he hadn't had contact with Natalie. But losing her number ate at him and she knew it, even thought he hadn't said a word. That was when their fighting became tumultuous and their relationship became intolerable, to them and the people around them. That was the summer she and Ike had slept together on the bus after they found themselves alone and in deep, deep conversation. One thing had led to another and what happened, happened. She began to felt as guilty as Tay did and their guilt fueled the fire until that last day...
And here they were.
Mel and Drew were in NYC. Natalie and her friend Kate had won the battle and married both Tay and Zac and had built lives with them. They were living the dreams that Mel and Drew had tried to build up. It was crazy. It was as if they traded one set of best friends in for another. Mel couldn't help but resent that, probably more than anything else. And she knew deep down, Drew held that same resentment.
"He wants to see me," Drew said, interrupting Mel's thoughts.
"Really?"
"Yeah. I want to see him, too. I think it would do us good to see each other."
"Yeah," Mel agreed, still lost in her thoughts.
"Maybe you and Tay should talk."
That alerted Mel back to full attention. "That will never happen. I have nothing to say to him. It's over. It's been over. If any of it was meant to be, it would have been and it wasn't. And I'm glad. Because then I
wouldn't have had the opportunity to meet John. And John was ten times the man Taylor Hanson will ever be, even in death. I'm glad you and Zac are reconnecting. It will be good for you. I'm truly glad. And I have no problem socializing with neither he nor Ike. Not a problem at all. But if Tay is anywhere involved, I'll have nothing to do with it."
Drew looked at Mel skeptically. "Mel, you know how this works. You get one, you get them all."
"Not if I don't want them all."
Drew shook her head in response.
"Anyway, so when are you meeting?" Mel continued.
"We didn't get that far. Soon, I hope. We're keeping in touch. He says he doesn't cheat on his wife and he doesn't want me to be his mistress. What does that mean?"
"That means you need to watch yourself and don't let him turn into the same asshole his older brother is."
"Mel, Tay never actually slept with Natalie. He never even talked to her. YOU are the one who slept with
Ike--"
"A fact that will NEVER see the light of day," Mel said in a hushed voice. "And anyway what Tay did the day I left him trumps anything I had ever done in that relationship. He should have NEVER laid a hand on me."
"Okay, maybe this is too soon," Drew said, standing up.
"No, this is never," Mel responded.
"Do you have a problem with me talking to Zac? Because if you do--"
"No. I have no problem with it at all. Promise. I wouldn't mind catching up with him myself. I can take him."
Both girls laughed and headed back inside the apartment.
____________________________________________
TAYLOR
Taylor Hanson hardly slept the previous night. He knew Zac hadn't either. He had heard him get in and out of his bunk soon after lights out. He knew this show in--where the hell was he? Anyway, he knew this show was surely going to suck. Ike would be so pissed.
Taylor was the first one out of bed, bright and early at 7am. He didn't have to call Natalie for another hour. That was one of their routines. When he was on the road, they tried to speak for a minimum of three times per day. 8am was the first phone call. Sometimes they Skyped. Most times they just talked over the phone. Sometimes he felt guilty that she had to be alone for so much time when she wasn't touring with him. Sure she had Kate and Nikki around, but it wasn't the same for her. They cherished his time at home when he wasn't working.
And he loved Natalie. If he didn't love her, he wouldn't have married her. Even though the engagement and wedding was sped up due to her sudden pregnancy. Which unfortunately had crossed his mind every day of their married life. But if he didn't love her, he certainly wouldn't stayed married to her for ten years. Right?
Of course he was right.
But for the moment, he found himself with his laptop on the online version of the New York Times,
frantically searching for the review of last night's New York show written by a one Melody Bradshaw.
Bradshaw.
He had never thought of her as anything but Banks. And back when they were happy, they discussed her
being Hanson. But never any other name.
And then a widow. She was a widow. He was in his tenth year of a relatively successful marriage, with a career that he loved, and she was a widow. She had loved a man after him and that man had died. He felt guilty that he couldn't have been there for her during that time.
Who was he kidding?
"She did us proud." Ike had emerged from the back of the bus, waving his phone in the air.
Tay snapped back to reality. "Huh?"
"Mel. Her review. It's really good. I was kinda nervous about it."
"Oh," Tay said. "Yeah..."
"Except she didn't write it," Zac butted in, squeezing through the doorway past Ike, and taking an empty
seat beside Tay.
Ike and Tay looked at Zac completely perplexed.
"Come on," Zac continued. "Ike, you saw her last night. You smelled her last night. She was in no condition to write a friggin article. Drew wrote it."
"Drew?" Tay said.
Ike massaged the bridge of his nose. "Oh god, there's two of them now."
"Yeah," Zac said, smiling. "Apparently they're still roomies. In New York."
"How do you KNOW this?" Tay asked.
"Drew told me."
Ike found himself in a state of complete annoyance. How could his brothers be such idiots? "What, now you're talking to Drew? What the hell is wrong with you guys? 'Till death do us part,' those words ring a bell to you?"
"Oh come on, Ike, it is nothing like that," Zac said. "There is absolutely nothing wrong with connecting with old friends. So there's a little history, so what? We're all adults now with our own lives. There is absolutely nothing to get all bent out of shape about here."
"Yeah, maybe for one of you," Ike muttered.
"What is that supposed to mean?" Tay asked, suddenly.
Ike sat down and faced Tay. "Look. You are my brother and I love you. You have a heart of gold. You are loyal and you would do nothing to harm your marriage. But you are also passionate, and sometimes too passionate. I know, Zac and I both know, that deep deep down in your heart Mel is still there. You never really let her go. But if there's any time to let her go, it's right now. I honestly don't think it is a good idea that you contact her again. What you two had, for your age, was freakin' phenomenal. There's no doubt about it. You guys had a love people only dream of. But that was also your first. You don't forget it, you just remember it. And for you, it needs to stay a memory."
"Ike...I don't know what to do."
"I am telling you what to do."
"It's a lot easier said. Seriously. I saw her last night and it felt like ten years ago all over again. It was like nothing ever changed. I forgot who I was, I forgot where--it felt like--"
"Like Natalie never existed."
"I didn't want to say that."
"You didn't have to."
Tay ran his hands through his hair and rested his head in his hands.
"Tay, I understand that you are shaken up a little bit," Ike continued. "It's going to affect you a little bit when you see an ex. It's natural. But you need to remember, you are married. You can NOT let something like this break up your marriage. Your marriage is way more important than whatever part of your body you decide to think with."
Zac interjected. "That's a little harsh."
"It's also a little true," Ike retorted.
Tay knew it was true. He didn't want to break up his marriage. Not for a minute. But he had this nagging feeling he had to get rid of and he had to find a way to do it. And fast. And he knew where to start.
He had a name, a city, and an employer. Now he just had to use the information he had to work with.
And he didn't dare tell a single soul.