CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE
MEL
Leaving Ireland was not fun, on all four accounts. Everyone hated saying their goodbyes, but the plus side was if they finished filming on time then Drew and Jason would have time for a small break before voice overs and all the little things that went along with getting the movie ready for release.
Mel's feeling of impending doom followed her all the way home. It followed her all through the tumultuous plane ride and she was silent to the point where Zac finally had to ask her if she was okay.
"I don't know," Mel had said. "Something's weird. Off. Something happened."
"Happened? What are you talking about? Did something happen in Ireland?"
Mel shook her head. "No. Something has either happened or it's going to happen. Call it women's intuition, I don't know, but my skin's been crawling ever since yesterday."
Zac hadn't had a response to that and he went back to the sketch pad he'd been drawing on.
Finally back in Tulsa, Isaac picked them up from the airport. Mel was disappointed that Taylor hadn't shown up, but it was late. For all she knew, he was in the studio or something. She texted him when she got off the plane but he hadn't texted back. He was probably in the zone, not even hearing his phone.
Ike was silent during the entire car ride. He didn't ask how their trip went, he didn't ask about the flight, nothing. He was probably tired. They'd have plenty of time to catch up at the studio tomorrow.
But that feeling in Mel's gut was still there. She couldn't shake it. The ride to her house was terrifying for her because she was convinced that maybe they were going to be in a car accident or something. Everyone and everything was just so--weird.
Finally, in the middle of the silence in the car, Mel blurted out, "Did someone die?" It was a genuine question. SOMETHING was going on somewhere.
Ike looked at her in the rearview mirror and laughed in disbelief. "What?"
"Did someone die? You're so quiet and I haven't heard much from Tay..."
"Oh. I'm sorry," Ike said. "We've been extremely busy this week. This is probably the earliest I've been out of the studio all week."
Satisfied with the answer, Mel's heart raced when they got closer to her house. Maybe Tay hadn't answered because he was waiting for her at home. After all, he did say...
The only car in her driveway was hers. She couldn't deny the sinking of her heart. She'd been so excited to see him. But she guessed she had to accept the reality--it would look absolutely horrible if he moved in with
his girlfriend mere days after signing separation papers. And even though he'd signed them, that didn't necessarily mean she'd been served yet.
Mel sighed. At least the important part was done, at least.
___________________________________________________
Well I just can't seem to pity
Cause my heart's too numb to feel
And the smile does all the talking
Though the pain is all that's real
With the way that you keep screaming
I can hardly hear to think
And I feel the bridges burning
Underneath my feet
Where do you go When You're Gone?
Where do you go When You're Gone?
Oh how the road feels so long
But where do you go When You're Gone?
I just want to stay dreaming
No I just don't want to wake
Why can't we keep on sailing
Across this emerald lake?
My forehead is still bleeding
From the thorns I used to wear
And I'm left alone and beaten
For this cross I choose to bear
Well the voices fall like timber
And the fear, it pours like rain
And my heart is crushed to cinders
Underneath this kind of pain
Well there is no resolution
When the revolution's dead
So I'm left with no solution
For the voices in my head
ISAAC
That car ride the previous night had been the most brutal thing Isaac had ever been though. He felt horrible. Absolutely horrible. But it wasn't his place to say anything to Mel. This was Taylor's decision and it was up to him to take care of his own business.
The next morning, Ike sat in the studio, palms sweating, when Zac walked in. He had to admit, he was surprised to see his brother so early.
"Hey, where's Tay?" Zac asked.
Ike took a breath. "Uh, outside with Mel."
Zac smirked. "They didn't waste any time, did they?"
"Well...it's not exactly what you think..."
"What do you mean?"
Ike sighed. "Zac, Natalie's pregnant."
He thought Zac's eyes were going to fall out of his head. "You're kidding..."
"And Tay suggested they renew their vows..."
"Fuck..."
"And it all went down the day before he was supposed to sign the separation papers."
"So they were never signed?"
"No."
"Shit, Ike! Shit!"
"I know," he said, wearily. "He's out there telling her right now."
"No, Ike. This can't happen!"
"Well it did. And now Tay's going to have to handle this on his own."
"No, seriously. This can't happen. She'll kill him."
Ike chuckled. "She'll get mad, yes, but let's not get so melodramatic here--"
"No, Ike, you don't understand. I watched her blow the brains out of a paper man in the shooting range at MAXIMUM POINT-BLANK RANGE. She already had a screw loose after Tay fucked her up the first time. And then her husband died and now Jason is in love with her, but she's in love with Tay and Jason is her best friend and--she can't handle this! She just can't! I don't even know if she's still carrying her gun or not!"
Ike stared back at Zac, wide-eyed, and it only took mere seconds for the two to break out into a full sprint through the studio and out the back door. They both halted to a stop. Mel was already screaming.
"I KNEW IT! I FUCKING KNEW IT! I FUCKING KNEW YOU WOULD FUCKING PUSS OUT ON ME! I KNEW IT! I KNEW YOU DIDN'T HAVE THE GUTS--THAT YOU DIDN'T HAVE THE FUCKING BALLS TO ACTUALLY DO IT! I FUCKING KNEW IT!"
"Mel--" Tay responded.
"No! You don't get to talk! YOU DON'T GET TO FUCKING SPEAK TO ME!! YOU AND YOUR WORDS CAN GO TO HELL!! THEY DON'T MEAN SHIT TO ME ANYMORE! YOU DON'T MEAN SHIT TO ME ANYMORE!!"
"What was I supposed to do?"
"Really? Fucking really? FUCK YOU!! THAT'S WHAT THE FUCK YOU DO! FUCKING FUCK YOU!! I could handle the baby. I can. Shit happens, honestly. I get it. But the vow renewal. The vow renewal is what makes me FUCKING SICK!! I knew this was all a game to you. I knew it. I knew you never truly loved me. I knew it."
"That is NOT true--"
"SHUT THE FUCK UP!! I DO NOT WANT TO HEAR YOU!! ALL YOU EVER FUCKING DO IS TALK!! YOU AND YOUR MEANINGLESS FUCKING WORDS!! TALK TALK TALK BUT NO GODDAMN ACTION!! YOU HAVE RUINED MY LIFE, DID YOU KNOW THAT? MY LIFE IS SO COMPLETELY FUCKING RUINED, YOU HAVE NO FUCKING
IDEA!! NONE! AND YOU DON'T CARE, YOU NEVER DID!! YOU NEVER FUCKING CARED ABOUT ME, EVER!!"
"Mel, please stop saying that," Tay said.
Ike's heart went out to his brother. To both of them. There wasn't much Tay could really do besides what he did now, and that was to just let Mel get it out of her system. What could he say, really? He had just told the love of his life he couldn't be with her anymore, what more could he possibly say? Ike's heart broke.
"Please stop saying what?" Mel continued. "The truth? Oh, wait. You wouldn't know what the truth was if it hit you in the goddamn face. All you've ever done is lie to me. Because you're nothing more than a self-centered, arrogant ASSHOLE!! You were NEVER going to leave her, were you? NEVER! NOT SINCE DAY ONE! YOU NEVER HAD ANY INTENTION TO LEAVE HER, YOU JUST THOUGHT YOU'D RIDE THIS OUT AND HAVE YOUR CAKE AND EAT IT, TOO! WELL FUCK YOU!! JASON WAS FUCKING RIGHT ABOUT YOU!! HE FUCKING CALLED IT 100 GODDAMN PERCENT AND I DEFENDED YOU!! HOLY SHIT, I DEFENDED YOU! I BELIEVED IN YOU!! I LOVED YOU!! I WAS A FUCKING IDIOT!!"
"Jason? What the fuck--what are you talking about?"
"I told him you signed the papers, Tay," Mel said, her voice ragged from the screaming. "Shit got heavy and I fucking told him. I was confident, I trusted you because I love you and that just because I hadn't heard from you, didn't mean you didn't sign them. And then he fucking doubted you. And I didn't believe him. WELL GUESS THE FUCK WHAT? HE IS RIGHT, ONCE AGAIN!"
"What do you mean, shit got heavy? What shit?"
"What the fuck does it matter to you? We're over. What I do is none of your concern anymore. You disgust me. And I wished to god that you and I had never met. EVER!" Mel's lip began to quiver and her voice began to crack. "I HATE YOU! I COULD NEVER TRULY EXPRESS THE HATE I HAVE FOR YOU!"
Tay ran his hand through his hair and looked away from her. Ike couldn't stand to watch this. He couldn't see his brother in pain like this. He couldn't watch a close friend slowly wither away in front of him. Tay and Mel had been an inspiration to a lot of people around them. He only wanted with Nikki half of what Tay and Mel had. Nobody could have ever topped it. Ike felt like he and Zac shouldn't have been watching this exchange but he knew they kinda had to--somebody was going to need witnesses.
Mel stepped closer to Tay. She was mere inches from him. Out of the corner of his eye, Ike could see Zac searching her with his eyes. Ike almost found the whole thing funny. Almost.
Pointing behind her, she spoke. "That man back there in Ireland? He loves me. Like, REALLY loves me. He is kind and he is gentle and he is HONEST! He has NEVER lied to me! NOT ONCE! HE wants what's best for ME!! It's NEVER been about him! EVER!! He is not selfish and he is not pushy. He is respectful and he is caring. AND HE LOVES ME!!! But he won't have me. He won't touch a relationship with me with a fucking 100 mile goddamn pole, you know why? BECAUSE OF YOU!! Because I still fucking love YOU!! You know what he told me? In Cabo? See I wasn't even going to tell you we even talked about it. But he fucking told me he wanted to be with me. He TOLD me! But if he can't have all of me, he wouldn't do it because he KNOWS that I still love YOU!!"
Tay didn't respond. Ike watched him rub his face with his hands. He knew he was inconspicuously trying to get rid of tears before they started. He knew his brother.
"And now I'm ruined," Mel continued. "Life, as I know it, is over. I have no heart anymore. What's the point in having one? Hell, you don't want it. You've destroyed it not once, BUT TWICE!! I have nothing left to give. I have nothing left for you. I have nothing left for Jason--and Jason is the one who TRULY deserves it! I chose YOU, you fucking bastard! I FUCKING CHOSE YOU!! AND YET--AND YET--"
Ike looked over at Zac, whose eyes were intent on Mel. She was getting hysterical. They had watched shock, anger, rage, sadness, and now the hysterics were about to kick in. They just knew it.
"Can we please just talk about this? Please?" Tay pleaded.
"FUCK YOU!! FUCK YOU AND THE BASTARD HORSE YOU RODE IN ON!! I HATE YOU!! YOU ARE A FUCKING BASTARD AND I HATE YOU!! WHY DID I EVER LOVE YOU? WHY?? YOU ARE A WORTHLESS BASTARD!! I HATE THE AIR THAT YOU BREATHE AND THE GROUND THAT YOU WALK ON!! I HATE EVERYTHING ABOUT
YOU, EVERYTHING!! I HATE HOW I LOVE YOU AND I HATE HOW I NEED YOU AND I HATE HOW I WANT YOU SO GODDAMN BAD EVEN NOW, I FUCKING HATE YOU!!! I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOUR FACE, EVER AGAIN, I HOPE YOU FUCKING DIE!!!" Suddenly, she changed her tune. "No. I hope you don't fucking die. That would be too good for you. I'm not going to run off like I did ten years ago. Oh, no no no no. I'm not giving you THAT luxury again. No. I'm going to be here every goddamn day. And you're going to see my face every goddamn day. And every goddamn day when you look at me you're going to be reminded and you're going to feel the very pain that I've felt for the past ten years every day FOR THE REST OF YOUR WORTHLESS GODDAMN LIFE!!"
And then it finally happened. The tears, the convulsions, the incoherent screaming. And then she lunged for Tay and grabbed him by the shirt collar. Before it could escalate any further, Zac was in a full sprint to intervene and, after some difficulty, managed to pry Mel's fingers from around Tay's shirt. Zac took Mel firmly by the wrists and put them around his own neck, leading her steps away from Tay and wrapping her in a hug, turning her around so she couldn't see Taylor.
Mel sobbed uncontrollable sobs into Zac's shoulder. "Just let me do it once," she sobbed, listlesssly beating Zac's shoulders with her fists, trying to get away. "Just let me hit him once, please! Just once! He doesn't even deserve to breathe!"
Zac held her tighter and stroked her hair and she sobbed and she wept. Tay was wiping his eyes as well and Ike had to take a deep breath. It was the most harrowing thing he'd ever witnessed.
After a few minutes, Zac was finally able to pull Mel away from the scene. Ike and Tay watched as Zac loaded her up in his car and drove away. Ike approached Tay face to face. "I just want you to know that that was THE most heart-wrenching thing I have ever witnessed in my entire life. I know before I was okay with whatever decision you made but now I'm not so sure. All I have to say is you better think long and hard about whether this is the final decision you want to stick with. Because I can promise you now, you WILL lose her and she won't come back. You won't get a third chance like this second one you just had. Not with Jason waiting in the wings for her. And trust me, he'll wait."
Tay stared back at him for a moment and then pounded his fist against the trunk of his car that he was standing against. "GODDAMMIT!! I gotta go. I gotta get out of here."
Ike caught Tay by the arm. "No. You're not going anywhere. You're going to sit here in this studio with me for the rest of the day. I don't give a shit if you twiddle your thumbs all day. But you're not getting behind that wheel until you've cooled off."
________________________________________________
ZAC
Mel was silent for the entire car ride. Zac was in complete disbelief. She had told him yesterday something felt off but he had simply waved her off. Was it really that serious between her and Taylor? Could she feel him? And he her? If that was truly the case, then why was their relationship so damn difficult? It stressed him out. It seemed like everything Tay and Mel did, it resonated like an earthquake, shaking the entire world around them. Everyone was affected by them. Why was it like this?
But Mel was his friend and Taylor was his brother. And he would do his best to support the both of them as best he could. Zac walked with Mel into her house. He sat her on her sofa, pulling a nearby ottoman up and
placing her feet on it. He took her shoes off of her feet and laid a throw blanket over her lap. She never once moved. She didn't make a sound. She didn't even look at him. It was almost as if she stared into space.
He sat down next to her and took a deep breath. He had no idea where to go from here. He couldn't leave her--there was no way she could be alone. And he couldn't stay with her all the time.
He decided to start by calling Drew. He didn't want to make this call. This would upset Drew, as well. And then when Drew told Jason--well who knew what would happen then?
Zac was surprised when she answered. "Hey!" Drew said excitedly. "I must say, I'm kind of surprised to hear from you so soon."
"Uh, it's not that kind of phone call."
Drew was instantly serious. "What do you mean?"
"Something happened..."
"What happened? You're scaring me..."
"Is Jason there"
"No, he's filming..."
"Good. This just needs to stay here right now. Look, Natalie's pregnant."
Zac expected Drew to explode but instead there was silence on the other end of the phone. "And?"
"And Tay's renewing his vows with her."
"You're lying. He signed those papers two days ago."
"He didn't."
"Where is Mel now?"
"Right here beside me at her house."
"Let me talk to her."
Zac attempted to hand his phone to Mel. "Do you want to talk to Drew?"
Mel shook her head lightly.
"She's not talking. She hasn't spoken a word since I put her in my car to bring her home."
"How bad was it?"
"It wasn't pretty. She kinda went ballistic on him. We just kinda let her get it out of her system but then she started trying to get physical and I had to step in."
Drew sighed. "I know he's your brother, but he's a fucking dumbass. Seriously. Does he not realize what he's done to her?"
"I know. It's not all rainbows and unicorns for him either, trust me. He'll beat himself up till the end of time, you know that."
"What am I supposed to say to Jason? He will fucking leave this movie if I say a word to him about it."
"Why don't you hold off for a bit. Wait for a good moment to spring it on him."
"You might be right...dammit, Zac, this is horrible. I hate that I can't be there for her, it's breaking my heart. God, I hope she's okay. This kills me."
"I know..."
Zac stayed on the phone with Drew a little longer before hanging up with her. It was still morning when he looked around the room and looked over at Mel, who still sat there, staring in the same place she had been since they got there. She was in shock now, that much was obvious. She would come out of it soon but for now she just needed someone and he was there, so. That someone he would be.
He reached for the remote and pointed it up to the television on the wall before reaching over and pulling Mel close to him. He wrapped her in his arms and sat with her. She never reacted. She didn't hug him back. She didn't even acknowledge his presence. That was okay. At least she knew he was there.
Flipping the channels, Zac found a movie and settled on it. He stayed with Mel for the rest of the day.
______________________________________________
DREW
Drew hung up the phone with Zac and slumped down in her chair in her trailer. She couldn't get a grip on what he had just told her. Her heart completely shattered for Mel. She couldn't begin to imagine how she
was feeling.
And Taylor. That fucking bastard. How dare he? It wasn't bad enough he hurt his best friend once, but now twice? When would it end? Could he not just leave her alone? Why did he have to bring havoc and chaos into Mel's life every damn time there was a light at the end of her tunnel?
That was it. Tay and Mel had finally seen the light. They saw the light just long enough to try to enjoy it and now Mel was black again. Complete darkness. She had to be. Drew had no idea how she would recover from this. She wasn't sure Mel would recover from John's "death" but she finally did. But now? Drew was worried sick.
Drew wanted desperately to understand where Tay was coming from. Truly. So he knocked up his wife. The right thing to do was to stick by her. Drew got that. But a vow renewal? Really? Was it necessary? She couldn't help but feel like it was nothing more than an insult and a hard slap in Mel's face. Why? Why would he throw this up on her like that?
Drew's first instinct was to find a way to get to Mel. She began feverishly looking over the ever-changing filming schedule to see if this would even be possible. It wasn't and she knew it. She hated this.
There was a knock on her trailer door as she put the schedule away. Jason invited himself in. Great. This was just perfect. He was the last one she wanted to see right now.
"Um, you're done with your scene already?"
Jason smiled. "Yeah. I'm trying really hard to just get this thing finished. The least takes, the better."
"Tell me about it," she agreed.
He narrowed her eyes at her in suspicion. Damn his on-target intuition. "What's going on?"
"Um, we can talk about it later. Really."
"No..." he said, taking a seat across from her. "We can talk about it now."
"I don't want to talk about it right now."
"Can I help?"
"Not this time."
"Try me."
"I'd rather not."
Jason scoffed. "You'd rather not? What kind of response is that?"
Frustrated, Drew said, "We can talk about it later."
"You keep saying 'we' like it's something I'm supposed to be in on or something. Or are you just brushing me off? Is there an issue with you or Zac or something?"
"No," she said quietly, dropping her eyes.
"Is it--is it Mel?"
She looked back up at Jason. In his eyes. She didn't want to tell him. She knew what it meant. She knew how he felt about Mel. And she knew Mel. And she knew that every chance Jason ever had with her was now gone. Mel wouldn't be herself for a very long time. Single was something Mel did best. Bottling up her emotions after trauma was something Mel was an expert at. Jason had no chance with her now. Taylor had ruined her. And Drew knew her best friend well enough to know that all this was true.
Reading Drew's face like a book, Jason said, "What did he do to her?"
Drew sighed. "His wife is pregnant and they're renewing their vows."
Jason looked stunned. He didn't speak. He didn't react. Drew honestly didn't know what to expect out of him.
What she didn't expect was when he started to laugh. "I knew it," he laughed. "I knew he couldn't do it. I knew he wouldn't commit. Wow, this is fucking beautiful."
Drew understood him now. The laughter was maniacal, laden with sarcasm. Sometimes when all your emotions fail you and the only thing that comes out is laughter, that's when you know you're quickly going off the deep end.
"Did you know we argued about that when she was here?" he continued. "She was so goddamn convinced she was going home to him. That he sure as shit signed those fucking papers. And I--do you know how
close I came to telling her I lo--I can't even say it. I can't do it. And for him to do this to her now? I mean, what the fuck do I do here? How do you tell someone you love them and then turn around and go knock up your wife? It's bizarre..."
"I'm at a loss, myself," Drew said quietly. "She's not gonna be the same. She's not gonna be our Mel anymore. When John 'allegedly' died, I never thought she would live through it. But this? Jason, I really believe we may have lost her this time. She wouldn't even talk to me awhile ago. Not even a word."
"Where is she now?"
"At home. Zac's with her. But he can't stay there forever. I'm worried for her to be alone."
"Do you think she'd talk to me?"
Drew shook her head. "I really doubt it."
"So...she sits there, alone, and we're all the way here and we can't do a goddamn thing. Where is the fucking logic in that?"
"She has plenty of people there. Ike and Zac and Nikki. Her parents are there. I should probably call her mom."
"You do that." Jason sighed. "Look, we gotta be on location in two hours. Let's just try to get this film done and then we'll be on the first plane out to Tulsa. Okay?"
Drew nodded in agreement as Jason left her trailer.
_______________________________________________________
MEL
Leaving Ireland was not fun, on all four accounts. Everyone hated saying their goodbyes, but the plus side was if they finished filming on time then Drew and Jason would have time for a small break before voice overs and all the little things that went along with getting the movie ready for release.
Mel's feeling of impending doom followed her all the way home. It followed her all through the tumultuous plane ride and she was silent to the point where Zac finally had to ask her if she was okay.
"I don't know," Mel had said. "Something's weird. Off. Something happened."
"Happened? What are you talking about? Did something happen in Ireland?"
Mel shook her head. "No. Something has either happened or it's going to happen. Call it women's intuition, I don't know, but my skin's been crawling ever since yesterday."
Zac hadn't had a response to that and he went back to the sketch pad he'd been drawing on.
Finally back in Tulsa, Isaac picked them up from the airport. Mel was disappointed that Taylor hadn't shown up, but it was late. For all she knew, he was in the studio or something. She texted him when she got off the plane but he hadn't texted back. He was probably in the zone, not even hearing his phone.
Ike was silent during the entire car ride. He didn't ask how their trip went, he didn't ask about the flight, nothing. He was probably tired. They'd have plenty of time to catch up at the studio tomorrow.
But that feeling in Mel's gut was still there. She couldn't shake it. The ride to her house was terrifying for her because she was convinced that maybe they were going to be in a car accident or something. Everyone and everything was just so--weird.
Finally, in the middle of the silence in the car, Mel blurted out, "Did someone die?" It was a genuine question. SOMETHING was going on somewhere.
Ike looked at her in the rearview mirror and laughed in disbelief. "What?"
"Did someone die? You're so quiet and I haven't heard much from Tay..."
"Oh. I'm sorry," Ike said. "We've been extremely busy this week. This is probably the earliest I've been out of the studio all week."
Satisfied with the answer, Mel's heart raced when they got closer to her house. Maybe Tay hadn't answered because he was waiting for her at home. After all, he did say...
The only car in her driveway was hers. She couldn't deny the sinking of her heart. She'd been so excited to see him. But she guessed she had to accept the reality--it would look absolutely horrible if he moved in with
his girlfriend mere days after signing separation papers. And even though he'd signed them, that didn't necessarily mean she'd been served yet.
Mel sighed. At least the important part was done, at least.
___________________________________________________
Well I just can't seem to pity
Cause my heart's too numb to feel
And the smile does all the talking
Though the pain is all that's real
With the way that you keep screaming
I can hardly hear to think
And I feel the bridges burning
Underneath my feet
Where do you go When You're Gone?
Where do you go When You're Gone?
Oh how the road feels so long
But where do you go When You're Gone?
I just want to stay dreaming
No I just don't want to wake
Why can't we keep on sailing
Across this emerald lake?
My forehead is still bleeding
From the thorns I used to wear
And I'm left alone and beaten
For this cross I choose to bear
Well the voices fall like timber
And the fear, it pours like rain
And my heart is crushed to cinders
Underneath this kind of pain
Well there is no resolution
When the revolution's dead
So I'm left with no solution
For the voices in my head
ISAAC
That car ride the previous night had been the most brutal thing Isaac had ever been though. He felt horrible. Absolutely horrible. But it wasn't his place to say anything to Mel. This was Taylor's decision and it was up to him to take care of his own business.
The next morning, Ike sat in the studio, palms sweating, when Zac walked in. He had to admit, he was surprised to see his brother so early.
"Hey, where's Tay?" Zac asked.
Ike took a breath. "Uh, outside with Mel."
Zac smirked. "They didn't waste any time, did they?"
"Well...it's not exactly what you think..."
"What do you mean?"
Ike sighed. "Zac, Natalie's pregnant."
He thought Zac's eyes were going to fall out of his head. "You're kidding..."
"And Tay suggested they renew their vows..."
"Fuck..."
"And it all went down the day before he was supposed to sign the separation papers."
"So they were never signed?"
"No."
"Shit, Ike! Shit!"
"I know," he said, wearily. "He's out there telling her right now."
"No, Ike. This can't happen!"
"Well it did. And now Tay's going to have to handle this on his own."
"No, seriously. This can't happen. She'll kill him."
Ike chuckled. "She'll get mad, yes, but let's not get so melodramatic here--"
"No, Ike, you don't understand. I watched her blow the brains out of a paper man in the shooting range at MAXIMUM POINT-BLANK RANGE. She already had a screw loose after Tay fucked her up the first time. And then her husband died and now Jason is in love with her, but she's in love with Tay and Jason is her best friend and--she can't handle this! She just can't! I don't even know if she's still carrying her gun or not!"
Ike stared back at Zac, wide-eyed, and it only took mere seconds for the two to break out into a full sprint through the studio and out the back door. They both halted to a stop. Mel was already screaming.
"I KNEW IT! I FUCKING KNEW IT! I FUCKING KNEW YOU WOULD FUCKING PUSS OUT ON ME! I KNEW IT! I KNEW YOU DIDN'T HAVE THE GUTS--THAT YOU DIDN'T HAVE THE FUCKING BALLS TO ACTUALLY DO IT! I FUCKING KNEW IT!"
"Mel--" Tay responded.
"No! You don't get to talk! YOU DON'T GET TO FUCKING SPEAK TO ME!! YOU AND YOUR WORDS CAN GO TO HELL!! THEY DON'T MEAN SHIT TO ME ANYMORE! YOU DON'T MEAN SHIT TO ME ANYMORE!!"
"What was I supposed to do?"
"Really? Fucking really? FUCK YOU!! THAT'S WHAT THE FUCK YOU DO! FUCKING FUCK YOU!! I could handle the baby. I can. Shit happens, honestly. I get it. But the vow renewal. The vow renewal is what makes me FUCKING SICK!! I knew this was all a game to you. I knew it. I knew you never truly loved me. I knew it."
"That is NOT true--"
"SHUT THE FUCK UP!! I DO NOT WANT TO HEAR YOU!! ALL YOU EVER FUCKING DO IS TALK!! YOU AND YOUR MEANINGLESS FUCKING WORDS!! TALK TALK TALK BUT NO GODDAMN ACTION!! YOU HAVE RUINED MY LIFE, DID YOU KNOW THAT? MY LIFE IS SO COMPLETELY FUCKING RUINED, YOU HAVE NO FUCKING
IDEA!! NONE! AND YOU DON'T CARE, YOU NEVER DID!! YOU NEVER FUCKING CARED ABOUT ME, EVER!!"
"Mel, please stop saying that," Tay said.
Ike's heart went out to his brother. To both of them. There wasn't much Tay could really do besides what he did now, and that was to just let Mel get it out of her system. What could he say, really? He had just told the love of his life he couldn't be with her anymore, what more could he possibly say? Ike's heart broke.
"Please stop saying what?" Mel continued. "The truth? Oh, wait. You wouldn't know what the truth was if it hit you in the goddamn face. All you've ever done is lie to me. Because you're nothing more than a self-centered, arrogant ASSHOLE!! You were NEVER going to leave her, were you? NEVER! NOT SINCE DAY ONE! YOU NEVER HAD ANY INTENTION TO LEAVE HER, YOU JUST THOUGHT YOU'D RIDE THIS OUT AND HAVE YOUR CAKE AND EAT IT, TOO! WELL FUCK YOU!! JASON WAS FUCKING RIGHT ABOUT YOU!! HE FUCKING CALLED IT 100 GODDAMN PERCENT AND I DEFENDED YOU!! HOLY SHIT, I DEFENDED YOU! I BELIEVED IN YOU!! I LOVED YOU!! I WAS A FUCKING IDIOT!!"
"Jason? What the fuck--what are you talking about?"
"I told him you signed the papers, Tay," Mel said, her voice ragged from the screaming. "Shit got heavy and I fucking told him. I was confident, I trusted you because I love you and that just because I hadn't heard from you, didn't mean you didn't sign them. And then he fucking doubted you. And I didn't believe him. WELL GUESS THE FUCK WHAT? HE IS RIGHT, ONCE AGAIN!"
"What do you mean, shit got heavy? What shit?"
"What the fuck does it matter to you? We're over. What I do is none of your concern anymore. You disgust me. And I wished to god that you and I had never met. EVER!" Mel's lip began to quiver and her voice began to crack. "I HATE YOU! I COULD NEVER TRULY EXPRESS THE HATE I HAVE FOR YOU!"
Tay ran his hand through his hair and looked away from her. Ike couldn't stand to watch this. He couldn't see his brother in pain like this. He couldn't watch a close friend slowly wither away in front of him. Tay and Mel had been an inspiration to a lot of people around them. He only wanted with Nikki half of what Tay and Mel had. Nobody could have ever topped it. Ike felt like he and Zac shouldn't have been watching this exchange but he knew they kinda had to--somebody was going to need witnesses.
Mel stepped closer to Tay. She was mere inches from him. Out of the corner of his eye, Ike could see Zac searching her with his eyes. Ike almost found the whole thing funny. Almost.
Pointing behind her, she spoke. "That man back there in Ireland? He loves me. Like, REALLY loves me. He is kind and he is gentle and he is HONEST! He has NEVER lied to me! NOT ONCE! HE wants what's best for ME!! It's NEVER been about him! EVER!! He is not selfish and he is not pushy. He is respectful and he is caring. AND HE LOVES ME!!! But he won't have me. He won't touch a relationship with me with a fucking 100 mile goddamn pole, you know why? BECAUSE OF YOU!! Because I still fucking love YOU!! You know what he told me? In Cabo? See I wasn't even going to tell you we even talked about it. But he fucking told me he wanted to be with me. He TOLD me! But if he can't have all of me, he wouldn't do it because he KNOWS that I still love YOU!!"
Tay didn't respond. Ike watched him rub his face with his hands. He knew he was inconspicuously trying to get rid of tears before they started. He knew his brother.
"And now I'm ruined," Mel continued. "Life, as I know it, is over. I have no heart anymore. What's the point in having one? Hell, you don't want it. You've destroyed it not once, BUT TWICE!! I have nothing left to give. I have nothing left for you. I have nothing left for Jason--and Jason is the one who TRULY deserves it! I chose YOU, you fucking bastard! I FUCKING CHOSE YOU!! AND YET--AND YET--"
Ike looked over at Zac, whose eyes were intent on Mel. She was getting hysterical. They had watched shock, anger, rage, sadness, and now the hysterics were about to kick in. They just knew it.
"Can we please just talk about this? Please?" Tay pleaded.
"FUCK YOU!! FUCK YOU AND THE BASTARD HORSE YOU RODE IN ON!! I HATE YOU!! YOU ARE A FUCKING BASTARD AND I HATE YOU!! WHY DID I EVER LOVE YOU? WHY?? YOU ARE A WORTHLESS BASTARD!! I HATE THE AIR THAT YOU BREATHE AND THE GROUND THAT YOU WALK ON!! I HATE EVERYTHING ABOUT
YOU, EVERYTHING!! I HATE HOW I LOVE YOU AND I HATE HOW I NEED YOU AND I HATE HOW I WANT YOU SO GODDAMN BAD EVEN NOW, I FUCKING HATE YOU!!! I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOUR FACE, EVER AGAIN, I HOPE YOU FUCKING DIE!!!" Suddenly, she changed her tune. "No. I hope you don't fucking die. That would be too good for you. I'm not going to run off like I did ten years ago. Oh, no no no no. I'm not giving you THAT luxury again. No. I'm going to be here every goddamn day. And you're going to see my face every goddamn day. And every goddamn day when you look at me you're going to be reminded and you're going to feel the very pain that I've felt for the past ten years every day FOR THE REST OF YOUR WORTHLESS GODDAMN LIFE!!"
And then it finally happened. The tears, the convulsions, the incoherent screaming. And then she lunged for Tay and grabbed him by the shirt collar. Before it could escalate any further, Zac was in a full sprint to intervene and, after some difficulty, managed to pry Mel's fingers from around Tay's shirt. Zac took Mel firmly by the wrists and put them around his own neck, leading her steps away from Tay and wrapping her in a hug, turning her around so she couldn't see Taylor.
Mel sobbed uncontrollable sobs into Zac's shoulder. "Just let me do it once," she sobbed, listlesssly beating Zac's shoulders with her fists, trying to get away. "Just let me hit him once, please! Just once! He doesn't even deserve to breathe!"
Zac held her tighter and stroked her hair and she sobbed and she wept. Tay was wiping his eyes as well and Ike had to take a deep breath. It was the most harrowing thing he'd ever witnessed.
After a few minutes, Zac was finally able to pull Mel away from the scene. Ike and Tay watched as Zac loaded her up in his car and drove away. Ike approached Tay face to face. "I just want you to know that that was THE most heart-wrenching thing I have ever witnessed in my entire life. I know before I was okay with whatever decision you made but now I'm not so sure. All I have to say is you better think long and hard about whether this is the final decision you want to stick with. Because I can promise you now, you WILL lose her and she won't come back. You won't get a third chance like this second one you just had. Not with Jason waiting in the wings for her. And trust me, he'll wait."
Tay stared back at him for a moment and then pounded his fist against the trunk of his car that he was standing against. "GODDAMMIT!! I gotta go. I gotta get out of here."
Ike caught Tay by the arm. "No. You're not going anywhere. You're going to sit here in this studio with me for the rest of the day. I don't give a shit if you twiddle your thumbs all day. But you're not getting behind that wheel until you've cooled off."
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ZAC
Mel was silent for the entire car ride. Zac was in complete disbelief. She had told him yesterday something felt off but he had simply waved her off. Was it really that serious between her and Taylor? Could she feel him? And he her? If that was truly the case, then why was their relationship so damn difficult? It stressed him out. It seemed like everything Tay and Mel did, it resonated like an earthquake, shaking the entire world around them. Everyone was affected by them. Why was it like this?
But Mel was his friend and Taylor was his brother. And he would do his best to support the both of them as best he could. Zac walked with Mel into her house. He sat her on her sofa, pulling a nearby ottoman up and
placing her feet on it. He took her shoes off of her feet and laid a throw blanket over her lap. She never once moved. She didn't make a sound. She didn't even look at him. It was almost as if she stared into space.
He sat down next to her and took a deep breath. He had no idea where to go from here. He couldn't leave her--there was no way she could be alone. And he couldn't stay with her all the time.
He decided to start by calling Drew. He didn't want to make this call. This would upset Drew, as well. And then when Drew told Jason--well who knew what would happen then?
Zac was surprised when she answered. "Hey!" Drew said excitedly. "I must say, I'm kind of surprised to hear from you so soon."
"Uh, it's not that kind of phone call."
Drew was instantly serious. "What do you mean?"
"Something happened..."
"What happened? You're scaring me..."
"Is Jason there"
"No, he's filming..."
"Good. This just needs to stay here right now. Look, Natalie's pregnant."
Zac expected Drew to explode but instead there was silence on the other end of the phone. "And?"
"And Tay's renewing his vows with her."
"You're lying. He signed those papers two days ago."
"He didn't."
"Where is Mel now?"
"Right here beside me at her house."
"Let me talk to her."
Zac attempted to hand his phone to Mel. "Do you want to talk to Drew?"
Mel shook her head lightly.
"She's not talking. She hasn't spoken a word since I put her in my car to bring her home."
"How bad was it?"
"It wasn't pretty. She kinda went ballistic on him. We just kinda let her get it out of her system but then she started trying to get physical and I had to step in."
Drew sighed. "I know he's your brother, but he's a fucking dumbass. Seriously. Does he not realize what he's done to her?"
"I know. It's not all rainbows and unicorns for him either, trust me. He'll beat himself up till the end of time, you know that."
"What am I supposed to say to Jason? He will fucking leave this movie if I say a word to him about it."
"Why don't you hold off for a bit. Wait for a good moment to spring it on him."
"You might be right...dammit, Zac, this is horrible. I hate that I can't be there for her, it's breaking my heart. God, I hope she's okay. This kills me."
"I know..."
Zac stayed on the phone with Drew a little longer before hanging up with her. It was still morning when he looked around the room and looked over at Mel, who still sat there, staring in the same place she had been since they got there. She was in shock now, that much was obvious. She would come out of it soon but for now she just needed someone and he was there, so. That someone he would be.
He reached for the remote and pointed it up to the television on the wall before reaching over and pulling Mel close to him. He wrapped her in his arms and sat with her. She never reacted. She didn't hug him back. She didn't even acknowledge his presence. That was okay. At least she knew he was there.
Flipping the channels, Zac found a movie and settled on it. He stayed with Mel for the rest of the day.
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DREW
Drew hung up the phone with Zac and slumped down in her chair in her trailer. She couldn't get a grip on what he had just told her. Her heart completely shattered for Mel. She couldn't begin to imagine how she
was feeling.
And Taylor. That fucking bastard. How dare he? It wasn't bad enough he hurt his best friend once, but now twice? When would it end? Could he not just leave her alone? Why did he have to bring havoc and chaos into Mel's life every damn time there was a light at the end of her tunnel?
That was it. Tay and Mel had finally seen the light. They saw the light just long enough to try to enjoy it and now Mel was black again. Complete darkness. She had to be. Drew had no idea how she would recover from this. She wasn't sure Mel would recover from John's "death" but she finally did. But now? Drew was worried sick.
Drew wanted desperately to understand where Tay was coming from. Truly. So he knocked up his wife. The right thing to do was to stick by her. Drew got that. But a vow renewal? Really? Was it necessary? She couldn't help but feel like it was nothing more than an insult and a hard slap in Mel's face. Why? Why would he throw this up on her like that?
Drew's first instinct was to find a way to get to Mel. She began feverishly looking over the ever-changing filming schedule to see if this would even be possible. It wasn't and she knew it. She hated this.
There was a knock on her trailer door as she put the schedule away. Jason invited himself in. Great. This was just perfect. He was the last one she wanted to see right now.
"Um, you're done with your scene already?"
Jason smiled. "Yeah. I'm trying really hard to just get this thing finished. The least takes, the better."
"Tell me about it," she agreed.
He narrowed her eyes at her in suspicion. Damn his on-target intuition. "What's going on?"
"Um, we can talk about it later. Really."
"No..." he said, taking a seat across from her. "We can talk about it now."
"I don't want to talk about it right now."
"Can I help?"
"Not this time."
"Try me."
"I'd rather not."
Jason scoffed. "You'd rather not? What kind of response is that?"
Frustrated, Drew said, "We can talk about it later."
"You keep saying 'we' like it's something I'm supposed to be in on or something. Or are you just brushing me off? Is there an issue with you or Zac or something?"
"No," she said quietly, dropping her eyes.
"Is it--is it Mel?"
She looked back up at Jason. In his eyes. She didn't want to tell him. She knew what it meant. She knew how he felt about Mel. And she knew Mel. And she knew that every chance Jason ever had with her was now gone. Mel wouldn't be herself for a very long time. Single was something Mel did best. Bottling up her emotions after trauma was something Mel was an expert at. Jason had no chance with her now. Taylor had ruined her. And Drew knew her best friend well enough to know that all this was true.
Reading Drew's face like a book, Jason said, "What did he do to her?"
Drew sighed. "His wife is pregnant and they're renewing their vows."
Jason looked stunned. He didn't speak. He didn't react. Drew honestly didn't know what to expect out of him.
What she didn't expect was when he started to laugh. "I knew it," he laughed. "I knew he couldn't do it. I knew he wouldn't commit. Wow, this is fucking beautiful."
Drew understood him now. The laughter was maniacal, laden with sarcasm. Sometimes when all your emotions fail you and the only thing that comes out is laughter, that's when you know you're quickly going off the deep end.
"Did you know we argued about that when she was here?" he continued. "She was so goddamn convinced she was going home to him. That he sure as shit signed those fucking papers. And I--do you know how
close I came to telling her I lo--I can't even say it. I can't do it. And for him to do this to her now? I mean, what the fuck do I do here? How do you tell someone you love them and then turn around and go knock up your wife? It's bizarre..."
"I'm at a loss, myself," Drew said quietly. "She's not gonna be the same. She's not gonna be our Mel anymore. When John 'allegedly' died, I never thought she would live through it. But this? Jason, I really believe we may have lost her this time. She wouldn't even talk to me awhile ago. Not even a word."
"Where is she now?"
"At home. Zac's with her. But he can't stay there forever. I'm worried for her to be alone."
"Do you think she'd talk to me?"
Drew shook her head. "I really doubt it."
"So...she sits there, alone, and we're all the way here and we can't do a goddamn thing. Where is the fucking logic in that?"
"She has plenty of people there. Ike and Zac and Nikki. Her parents are there. I should probably call her mom."
"You do that." Jason sighed. "Look, we gotta be on location in two hours. Let's just try to get this film done and then we'll be on the first plane out to Tulsa. Okay?"
Drew nodded in agreement as Jason left her trailer.
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