CHAPTER FORTY-SEVEN
MEL
"Hey, gorgeous," Jason answered. "How are you?"
"I'm alive," Mel answered into her phone. She sat on her sofa, feeling guilty for ignoring all the phone calls she'd gotten last week.
"Well that's good to hear."
"It is what it is. Look, I'm sorry I didn't return your calls last week. It was--"
"Don't apologize," he said, his rich voice soothing her. "You have nothing to apologize for. I just wanted you to know I'm here for you. And I'm sorry that you're having to go through what you're going through."
"Thank you." She sighed and fiddled with a fringe on a throw pillow. "But I guess I should have expected something like this, right? I mean, you were right. About everything. I was the fool."
"I should never have said any of that stuff that night."
"Wouldn't have mattered. I would have come home to this anyway."
"It's taking everything I have to keep from leaving this set and committing a murder."
"Oh, you're too kind," Mel said, making a dry attempt at humor.
"He doesn't deserve you," Jason said quietly. "He never deserved you."
"He doesn't want me anyway so I guess that doesn't matter."
"I wish things were different."
"You and me both."
"Mel, I--I don't really know what to say. I mean, I'm trying not to get heavy on you 'cause I know you don't really need it right now but I'm just so DAMN angry. You know? It angers me that you have to sit there and feel like you mean nothing to him when you--you mean everything to me. It's just--it's not right. It's not fair. And that first night--I constantly beat myself up over the first time we met because I felt it then. If I had taken you away then I feel like I could have spared you this pain you're feeling now. And now I'm too late. That's where I was the fool."
"Jason--"
"I know. Bad timing, I know."
"I just need a friend right now."
"I know. I'm here for you. No matter what."
"Promise? Nevermind, don't promise. Promises scare me nowadays."
"I can do you one better," Jason said. "I got the invite for the 3CG charity fundraiser and I RSVP'd."
A small smile escaped Mel's lips. "Will you be done with filming by then?"
"Looks like it. And you're gonna need a date, so...might as well be me, right?"
"You want to be my date? Even after--"
"I'd be your date anytime, anywhere."
"Why? Why do you stay? Why do you stay when--when I can't--we can't--I feel so guilty, like I'm stringing you along or something. This isn't fair to you--I mean, I don't want you to think that if you--"
"Mel. Stop. Right there. It doesn't matter how I feel about anything. My own feelings are things I have to deal with on my own. And yeah, I know how this is and where we stand. I know. And, yeah, sometimes I get diarrhea of the mouth and heart and I say things before I think about it when I probably shouldn't. I don't ever want you to feel guilty about anything. I've told you before and I'll tell you again, I'll never lie to you and I mean what I say when I say it. I don't feel like I'm being strung along or lead on or any bullshit like that. I stay because I want to. I stay because first and foremost we are friends. And friends stick together. That's what they do. And do I wish we could be more than friends? Sure, of course I do. But please don't think for a minute that I'm only sticking around in hopes that you'll change your mind. It's not like that. You need me in some ways and, believe it or not, in some ways I need you. We have an interesting friendship. You're the best friend I've ever had. It doesn't help that you're female. It certainly doesn't help that I've seen every inch of your body. But we're friends first and that's it. I stay because that is what friends do. They stay. And it's just that simple."
Mel was silent. She wasn't sure what to say. It was as if he always knew to say the things she needed to hear at exactly the right time. He was put in her life for a reason and she was reminded of that every time he opened his mouth. "You have no idea how much I appreciate you," she finally said. "You'll just--you'll never know. I'm glad you've invited yourself to be my date. I couldn't do it alone."
"I know. I'm here to support you in every way possible."
"Please don't murder anyone while we're there," Mel said. "I can't use the charity money to pay for your trial."
Jason laughed. "Was that a joke I just heard?"
Mel found herself smiling, in spite of herself. "You should feel honored I could even pull one out lately."
"I am definitely honored. Listen I'm gonna go. I think I just saw Drew walking to her trailer so she's probably gonna try to call you. Call me anytime, okay? Or text, whatever. If you can't get me, blow up my phone. Any hour of the day."
"See you in three weeks?"
"Three weeks. LA, here we come."
For the first time in over a week, Mel felt a slight warmth in her heart as she hung up with Jason. Maybe she was still in there somewhere. Only time would tell.
_____________________________________________________
DREW
When Drew got into her trailer she did the same thing she did every day, multiple times per day--she called
Mel.
She nearly had a heart attack when Mel answered. "Holy shit, you're alive! Thank god!"
"Barely," Mel said on the other end. "I just got off the phone with Jason."
"Really...how'd that go."
"It was good. He's going with me to the benefit."
Drew was puzzled. "He's going?"
"Yeah. He said it was looking like filming would be wrapped by then. And I'm glad he said he was coming because I can't spend an entire night in the same room with Tay and Natalie alone. I couldn't bear it."
"Interesting. I haven't RSVP'd yet because I wasn't sure what filming was looking like by then. I'll have to talk to Gerard about it. But anyway, more importantly, how are you holding up?"
Mel sighed. "Well I'm living. That's about all it chalks up to. Eat, sleep, work."
"I hate the bastard," Drew said. "He and I had just gotten to be friends again and then he goes and does something like this. What's he been like?"
"I didn't go to work at all last week. But damn, Drew, it's like classic Tay all over again."
"Stalker Tay?"
"Yes."
"Beggar Tay?"
"Yes."
"Is he a crazy emotional mess?"
Mel sighed again. "Can I tell you a secret? A secret that I am deathly afraid to say out loud or even admit to myself?"
"If I wasn't so pissed off I'd laugh at your stupid question."
Mel chuckled lightly. Then she was serious again. "Drew, it's killing me. Absolutely tearing what's left of my heart right out of my chest to see him that way. He is beating himself up like crazy. Every time I see him I can
feel his desperation and I can't stand it. I absolutely can't stand it. My first instinct every time I lay eyes on him is to take him in my arms and tell him everything will be all right. You know? But I can't, I just can't do it. I can't just--I can't let him do this to me and then be the one to be okay with it. It's just not happening. My head is so goddamn fucked up right now...my mother suggested a therapist. I don't need a goddamn therapist. I need a goddamn time machine."
"Hell no. You don't even have to pretend to be okay with this. Mel, I don't understand it, I just don't--"
"He told me how it happened," Mel interrupted. "And the most fucked up thing of it is, I actually fucking get it. I get it. I ALMOST respect the bastard for the decision he made. I swear to god I'm slowly losing my mind. But of course I'm not gonna let him know that. Regardless of the situation, he still fucked me up. He still hurt me. Again. And I may or may not ever get past that." Mel paused for a moment. "But I love him. I love him more now than I ever have before and I have absolutely no idea why. I miss him every time I see him, I want him every time I see him. I'm an emotional mess. A crazy emotional mess."
"Just like Tay..."
"You ever wonder if maybe that's why life is so difficult for us? Because we're so much alike? I feel like we're the male and female versions of each other. People can't live like that. Opposites attract, right? Isn't that how it works?"
"I don't believe in that opposites attract shit," Drew responded. "If you're in love, you're in love. People want to make it so complicated but, really, it's just cut and dry."
"No gray areas?"
"No gray areas. If there's a gray area, it's not real love."
Mel fell silent and so did Drew. It was as if they both chewed on this thought for a moment. Drew's mind suddenly went to Zac and, as quickly as it came, she shook it away. "So you don't consider a pregnant wife a gray area?"
"Do you love Tay?"
"Yes."
"And does he love you?"
"Yes."
"Then it's cut and dry. Don't necessarily have to be together for that love to be there."
"Then what's the point in it?"
"Uh, can we be done with this conversation?" Drew asked suddenly. She didn't like how uneasy it was suddenly making her feel.
"I thought you'd never ask."
"Anyway, it kills me that I can't be there for you. I can't stand it. I can't stand that you're that far away and I can't help you. I feel like a shitty friend."
Mel laughed. "You're not being a shitty friend. You're in fucking Ireland, filming a movie. I wouldn't dare ask you to drop something like that just because I'm having one of my many emotional breakdowns. Hell by this point I don't even know why I hurt anymore. I should be used to him building me up and tearing me down by now. I really don't know why I expected this time to be any different."
"Do you want me to call him?"
"What?"
"Do you want me to call Tay?"
"What would you say? It's not like you can--I mean what good would it possibly do?"
"It wouldn't. But it'd make me feel better to tear him a new asshole."
Mel sighed. "No...don't call him. He's already in rough shape..."
"You're gonna forgive him aren't you?"
"Are you kidding? I don't even know what the word means right now."
After a few more minutes, Drew wrapped her conversation with Mel. Feeling a little better that her best
friend could at least a laugh a little, she sat and stared at Taylor's number on her screen. She hadn't actually promised Mel she wouldn't call him...
Before she talked herself out of it, she hit the button and it started ringing.
Tay didn't greet her or anything when he answered. He simply said in a voice filled with dread, "I was waiting on this phone call."
Drew took a deep breath to keep her composure before she spoke. "I am going to try very hard to stay calm
when I talk to you. I am going to try very hard to convey my displeasure to you without using obscenely creative vocabulary words. So I am going to ask you, in the sweetest way possible, what in the actual fuck were you thinking?"
Drew was surprised when she heard the annoyance in Tay's voice. "I don't know why everyone keeps saying 'what were you thinking?' You know, because I totally chose to knock Natalie up just to tear Mel's whole world down. It's what I do for fun."
"I don't need the sarcasm. I'm not the one who broke her heart."
"Everybody acts like I don't care. But I do care and that's why it's so fucking hard. Was sticking by her after getting her pregnant not the right thing to do? I mean, help me out here. I wasn't aware that being a bastard was the right thing to do in this situation."
"You're totally missing the point. It has nothing to do with the baby. None whatsoever. It's the vow renewal that has everyone scratching their heads. It's the vow renewal that has Mel convinced that everything you said to her was a lie. You could have simply stayed with Natalie without the vow renewal and let your relationship run its course. What was so wrong about that? Mel feels like it was a personal attack on her. She's insulted. She's taking it personally."
Taylor was silent. It was apparent that he hadn't thought this through very well. 'Typical,' Drew thought to herself.
He spoke slowly and carefully. "I have wanted a family my entire life. It's not exactly a secret. And the timing is shit but now Natalie is pregnant. We've been trying to have a baby for ten years. Somehow,
SOMEWHERE there is a reason for this. I am not the type of man who is going to walk out on a child like that. It's just not going to happen. I may not be happy in the situation I'm in, but Natalie is going to be the mother of my child and I at least have to respect her for that."
"So basically you're using Natalie for her womb."
"That is completely absurd. What the hell am I supposed to do? Will everyone please quit bitching at me about this? Yeah, okay, I'm a sorry, good-for-nothing, idiot bastard. I've heard it all. I get it. But I'm not
expecting everyone to understand this. It was the hardest goddamn decision I've ever had to make and the day I had to tell Mel was the first time in my entire life that I ever truly contemplated suicide. And I swear to god if you dare tell that to a single soul I'll tell Kate about you and Zac in a heartbeat and not think twice about it."
"If you did that you would totally throw your brother under the bus."
"You know what I mean."
In spite of herself, Drew's heart softened a little. "Did you really think about killing yourself?"
"I secretly prayed Mel had her gun on her so I could just do it right there in the parking lot and get it over
with. No shit. That was the one worst day of my entire 30 years on this earth."
"You don't still--I mean--"
"No. No, I don't. That's the shit, coward way to deal. I'm not that stupid. But at the time it sounded good."
"I'm glad you didn't."
"I knew you didn't hate me."
"Let's not get this twisted. I think you're the biggest goddamn moron to ever walk this earth. But, no, I don't exactly hate you."
"I didn't want our friendship affected. But I guess you have to have your loyalties."
"Mel comes first. You know that."
"And she should, I know. But I just need SOMEONE to not give up on me."
Drew sighed. "I can work on that, I guess."
"That's all I ask."
Drew wrapped up the phone call with Taylor when there was a knock on her trailer door. When she opened
it, Gerard stood there. Wow. What now? This day just became more and more eventful by the minute.
She let him in and he sat in a chair across from her. "So, I just finished talking to Jason," his British accent said to her. "I hear you've taken on the role of therapist today."
Drew sighed. "My best friend--you remember Mel--has had it rough through the years. Unlucky in love, I guess. Anyway, she kinda just had a traumatic experience and it's kind of depressing not being able to be there for her. I do what I can over the phone."
"I understand what she means to you," he said softly. "And I came to tell you that if you need to go to her, you can go. I can give you a few days off to be with your friend."
Drew looked back into Gerard's green eyes in contemplation. The offer was extremely tempting. Professionally it would practically be career suicide. She would never get her head back in the game. She thought about Mel and her reaction if she came home. Mel would kill her for her decision.
"Um, thank you for that. But I'm going to stay. We need to get this movie finished and I need to stick with it."
"Are you sure? Because if you change your mind, I can approve time--"
"No. It's fine, really. Jason says we've almost wrapped so I'd rather just finish it out and not extend any more time. Which reminds me--he said he RSVP'd to the 3CG benefit already. Did you get an invite?"
"I did, actually. That's part of the reason I came by. I know your Zac will be there with his wife--" This statement made her want to crawl into a hole and hide. It was embarrassing that he knew she was messing around with a married man. "--and so I wasn't sure if you had anyone escorting you yet."
Drew was surprised by the question. Was he-- "Are you asking me out?"
Gerard laughed. "Fuck no. We work together, that's never a good idea. No, I'm just simply saying--you know, if you needed someone to make sure you didn't trip over your shoes when you stepped out of the limo or something, I could be there to help."
Drew narrowed her eyes at Gerard. "How did you know Zac was married?"
He smiled a knowing smile. "Come on. I'm familiar with Zac Hanson. Who isn't?"
"And it doesn't bother you that I'm...somewhat involved with him?"
"It's none of my business, really."
A wry smile crept across her face. "You Googled him, didn't you?"
"That's neither here nor there. The point is, you're going stag and I'm going stag and I see no reason why two people going stag can't show up stag in the same vehicle. That's all I'm saying."
"And if I accept?"
"Uh...what's the opposite of stag?"
"Not stag?"
"Then if you accept, you'll be not stag."
"Fine," Drew accepted his invitation as if it were a challenge.
"Very well then." Gerard stood up to leave. "By the way, there's been a schedule change. We're pulling an all-nighter on location in Killarney tonight. We've decided to try some different scenery for yours and Jason's fight scene. Be in makeup and ready to kick some ass in three hours."
As Gerard walked out the door, Drew dropped her forehead on her desk. This would be longest couple of
weeks in her entire life.
__________________________________________________________
MEL
"Hey, gorgeous," Jason answered. "How are you?"
"I'm alive," Mel answered into her phone. She sat on her sofa, feeling guilty for ignoring all the phone calls she'd gotten last week.
"Well that's good to hear."
"It is what it is. Look, I'm sorry I didn't return your calls last week. It was--"
"Don't apologize," he said, his rich voice soothing her. "You have nothing to apologize for. I just wanted you to know I'm here for you. And I'm sorry that you're having to go through what you're going through."
"Thank you." She sighed and fiddled with a fringe on a throw pillow. "But I guess I should have expected something like this, right? I mean, you were right. About everything. I was the fool."
"I should never have said any of that stuff that night."
"Wouldn't have mattered. I would have come home to this anyway."
"It's taking everything I have to keep from leaving this set and committing a murder."
"Oh, you're too kind," Mel said, making a dry attempt at humor.
"He doesn't deserve you," Jason said quietly. "He never deserved you."
"He doesn't want me anyway so I guess that doesn't matter."
"I wish things were different."
"You and me both."
"Mel, I--I don't really know what to say. I mean, I'm trying not to get heavy on you 'cause I know you don't really need it right now but I'm just so DAMN angry. You know? It angers me that you have to sit there and feel like you mean nothing to him when you--you mean everything to me. It's just--it's not right. It's not fair. And that first night--I constantly beat myself up over the first time we met because I felt it then. If I had taken you away then I feel like I could have spared you this pain you're feeling now. And now I'm too late. That's where I was the fool."
"Jason--"
"I know. Bad timing, I know."
"I just need a friend right now."
"I know. I'm here for you. No matter what."
"Promise? Nevermind, don't promise. Promises scare me nowadays."
"I can do you one better," Jason said. "I got the invite for the 3CG charity fundraiser and I RSVP'd."
A small smile escaped Mel's lips. "Will you be done with filming by then?"
"Looks like it. And you're gonna need a date, so...might as well be me, right?"
"You want to be my date? Even after--"
"I'd be your date anytime, anywhere."
"Why? Why do you stay? Why do you stay when--when I can't--we can't--I feel so guilty, like I'm stringing you along or something. This isn't fair to you--I mean, I don't want you to think that if you--"
"Mel. Stop. Right there. It doesn't matter how I feel about anything. My own feelings are things I have to deal with on my own. And yeah, I know how this is and where we stand. I know. And, yeah, sometimes I get diarrhea of the mouth and heart and I say things before I think about it when I probably shouldn't. I don't ever want you to feel guilty about anything. I've told you before and I'll tell you again, I'll never lie to you and I mean what I say when I say it. I don't feel like I'm being strung along or lead on or any bullshit like that. I stay because I want to. I stay because first and foremost we are friends. And friends stick together. That's what they do. And do I wish we could be more than friends? Sure, of course I do. But please don't think for a minute that I'm only sticking around in hopes that you'll change your mind. It's not like that. You need me in some ways and, believe it or not, in some ways I need you. We have an interesting friendship. You're the best friend I've ever had. It doesn't help that you're female. It certainly doesn't help that I've seen every inch of your body. But we're friends first and that's it. I stay because that is what friends do. They stay. And it's just that simple."
Mel was silent. She wasn't sure what to say. It was as if he always knew to say the things she needed to hear at exactly the right time. He was put in her life for a reason and she was reminded of that every time he opened his mouth. "You have no idea how much I appreciate you," she finally said. "You'll just--you'll never know. I'm glad you've invited yourself to be my date. I couldn't do it alone."
"I know. I'm here to support you in every way possible."
"Please don't murder anyone while we're there," Mel said. "I can't use the charity money to pay for your trial."
Jason laughed. "Was that a joke I just heard?"
Mel found herself smiling, in spite of herself. "You should feel honored I could even pull one out lately."
"I am definitely honored. Listen I'm gonna go. I think I just saw Drew walking to her trailer so she's probably gonna try to call you. Call me anytime, okay? Or text, whatever. If you can't get me, blow up my phone. Any hour of the day."
"See you in three weeks?"
"Three weeks. LA, here we come."
For the first time in over a week, Mel felt a slight warmth in her heart as she hung up with Jason. Maybe she was still in there somewhere. Only time would tell.
_____________________________________________________
DREW
When Drew got into her trailer she did the same thing she did every day, multiple times per day--she called
Mel.
She nearly had a heart attack when Mel answered. "Holy shit, you're alive! Thank god!"
"Barely," Mel said on the other end. "I just got off the phone with Jason."
"Really...how'd that go."
"It was good. He's going with me to the benefit."
Drew was puzzled. "He's going?"
"Yeah. He said it was looking like filming would be wrapped by then. And I'm glad he said he was coming because I can't spend an entire night in the same room with Tay and Natalie alone. I couldn't bear it."
"Interesting. I haven't RSVP'd yet because I wasn't sure what filming was looking like by then. I'll have to talk to Gerard about it. But anyway, more importantly, how are you holding up?"
Mel sighed. "Well I'm living. That's about all it chalks up to. Eat, sleep, work."
"I hate the bastard," Drew said. "He and I had just gotten to be friends again and then he goes and does something like this. What's he been like?"
"I didn't go to work at all last week. But damn, Drew, it's like classic Tay all over again."
"Stalker Tay?"
"Yes."
"Beggar Tay?"
"Yes."
"Is he a crazy emotional mess?"
Mel sighed again. "Can I tell you a secret? A secret that I am deathly afraid to say out loud or even admit to myself?"
"If I wasn't so pissed off I'd laugh at your stupid question."
Mel chuckled lightly. Then she was serious again. "Drew, it's killing me. Absolutely tearing what's left of my heart right out of my chest to see him that way. He is beating himself up like crazy. Every time I see him I can
feel his desperation and I can't stand it. I absolutely can't stand it. My first instinct every time I lay eyes on him is to take him in my arms and tell him everything will be all right. You know? But I can't, I just can't do it. I can't just--I can't let him do this to me and then be the one to be okay with it. It's just not happening. My head is so goddamn fucked up right now...my mother suggested a therapist. I don't need a goddamn therapist. I need a goddamn time machine."
"Hell no. You don't even have to pretend to be okay with this. Mel, I don't understand it, I just don't--"
"He told me how it happened," Mel interrupted. "And the most fucked up thing of it is, I actually fucking get it. I get it. I ALMOST respect the bastard for the decision he made. I swear to god I'm slowly losing my mind. But of course I'm not gonna let him know that. Regardless of the situation, he still fucked me up. He still hurt me. Again. And I may or may not ever get past that." Mel paused for a moment. "But I love him. I love him more now than I ever have before and I have absolutely no idea why. I miss him every time I see him, I want him every time I see him. I'm an emotional mess. A crazy emotional mess."
"Just like Tay..."
"You ever wonder if maybe that's why life is so difficult for us? Because we're so much alike? I feel like we're the male and female versions of each other. People can't live like that. Opposites attract, right? Isn't that how it works?"
"I don't believe in that opposites attract shit," Drew responded. "If you're in love, you're in love. People want to make it so complicated but, really, it's just cut and dry."
"No gray areas?"
"No gray areas. If there's a gray area, it's not real love."
Mel fell silent and so did Drew. It was as if they both chewed on this thought for a moment. Drew's mind suddenly went to Zac and, as quickly as it came, she shook it away. "So you don't consider a pregnant wife a gray area?"
"Do you love Tay?"
"Yes."
"And does he love you?"
"Yes."
"Then it's cut and dry. Don't necessarily have to be together for that love to be there."
"Then what's the point in it?"
"Uh, can we be done with this conversation?" Drew asked suddenly. She didn't like how uneasy it was suddenly making her feel.
"I thought you'd never ask."
"Anyway, it kills me that I can't be there for you. I can't stand it. I can't stand that you're that far away and I can't help you. I feel like a shitty friend."
Mel laughed. "You're not being a shitty friend. You're in fucking Ireland, filming a movie. I wouldn't dare ask you to drop something like that just because I'm having one of my many emotional breakdowns. Hell by this point I don't even know why I hurt anymore. I should be used to him building me up and tearing me down by now. I really don't know why I expected this time to be any different."
"Do you want me to call him?"
"What?"
"Do you want me to call Tay?"
"What would you say? It's not like you can--I mean what good would it possibly do?"
"It wouldn't. But it'd make me feel better to tear him a new asshole."
Mel sighed. "No...don't call him. He's already in rough shape..."
"You're gonna forgive him aren't you?"
"Are you kidding? I don't even know what the word means right now."
After a few more minutes, Drew wrapped her conversation with Mel. Feeling a little better that her best
friend could at least a laugh a little, she sat and stared at Taylor's number on her screen. She hadn't actually promised Mel she wouldn't call him...
Before she talked herself out of it, she hit the button and it started ringing.
Tay didn't greet her or anything when he answered. He simply said in a voice filled with dread, "I was waiting on this phone call."
Drew took a deep breath to keep her composure before she spoke. "I am going to try very hard to stay calm
when I talk to you. I am going to try very hard to convey my displeasure to you without using obscenely creative vocabulary words. So I am going to ask you, in the sweetest way possible, what in the actual fuck were you thinking?"
Drew was surprised when she heard the annoyance in Tay's voice. "I don't know why everyone keeps saying 'what were you thinking?' You know, because I totally chose to knock Natalie up just to tear Mel's whole world down. It's what I do for fun."
"I don't need the sarcasm. I'm not the one who broke her heart."
"Everybody acts like I don't care. But I do care and that's why it's so fucking hard. Was sticking by her after getting her pregnant not the right thing to do? I mean, help me out here. I wasn't aware that being a bastard was the right thing to do in this situation."
"You're totally missing the point. It has nothing to do with the baby. None whatsoever. It's the vow renewal that has everyone scratching their heads. It's the vow renewal that has Mel convinced that everything you said to her was a lie. You could have simply stayed with Natalie without the vow renewal and let your relationship run its course. What was so wrong about that? Mel feels like it was a personal attack on her. She's insulted. She's taking it personally."
Taylor was silent. It was apparent that he hadn't thought this through very well. 'Typical,' Drew thought to herself.
He spoke slowly and carefully. "I have wanted a family my entire life. It's not exactly a secret. And the timing is shit but now Natalie is pregnant. We've been trying to have a baby for ten years. Somehow,
SOMEWHERE there is a reason for this. I am not the type of man who is going to walk out on a child like that. It's just not going to happen. I may not be happy in the situation I'm in, but Natalie is going to be the mother of my child and I at least have to respect her for that."
"So basically you're using Natalie for her womb."
"That is completely absurd. What the hell am I supposed to do? Will everyone please quit bitching at me about this? Yeah, okay, I'm a sorry, good-for-nothing, idiot bastard. I've heard it all. I get it. But I'm not
expecting everyone to understand this. It was the hardest goddamn decision I've ever had to make and the day I had to tell Mel was the first time in my entire life that I ever truly contemplated suicide. And I swear to god if you dare tell that to a single soul I'll tell Kate about you and Zac in a heartbeat and not think twice about it."
"If you did that you would totally throw your brother under the bus."
"You know what I mean."
In spite of herself, Drew's heart softened a little. "Did you really think about killing yourself?"
"I secretly prayed Mel had her gun on her so I could just do it right there in the parking lot and get it over
with. No shit. That was the one worst day of my entire 30 years on this earth."
"You don't still--I mean--"
"No. No, I don't. That's the shit, coward way to deal. I'm not that stupid. But at the time it sounded good."
"I'm glad you didn't."
"I knew you didn't hate me."
"Let's not get this twisted. I think you're the biggest goddamn moron to ever walk this earth. But, no, I don't exactly hate you."
"I didn't want our friendship affected. But I guess you have to have your loyalties."
"Mel comes first. You know that."
"And she should, I know. But I just need SOMEONE to not give up on me."
Drew sighed. "I can work on that, I guess."
"That's all I ask."
Drew wrapped up the phone call with Taylor when there was a knock on her trailer door. When she opened
it, Gerard stood there. Wow. What now? This day just became more and more eventful by the minute.
She let him in and he sat in a chair across from her. "So, I just finished talking to Jason," his British accent said to her. "I hear you've taken on the role of therapist today."
Drew sighed. "My best friend--you remember Mel--has had it rough through the years. Unlucky in love, I guess. Anyway, she kinda just had a traumatic experience and it's kind of depressing not being able to be there for her. I do what I can over the phone."
"I understand what she means to you," he said softly. "And I came to tell you that if you need to go to her, you can go. I can give you a few days off to be with your friend."
Drew looked back into Gerard's green eyes in contemplation. The offer was extremely tempting. Professionally it would practically be career suicide. She would never get her head back in the game. She thought about Mel and her reaction if she came home. Mel would kill her for her decision.
"Um, thank you for that. But I'm going to stay. We need to get this movie finished and I need to stick with it."
"Are you sure? Because if you change your mind, I can approve time--"
"No. It's fine, really. Jason says we've almost wrapped so I'd rather just finish it out and not extend any more time. Which reminds me--he said he RSVP'd to the 3CG benefit already. Did you get an invite?"
"I did, actually. That's part of the reason I came by. I know your Zac will be there with his wife--" This statement made her want to crawl into a hole and hide. It was embarrassing that he knew she was messing around with a married man. "--and so I wasn't sure if you had anyone escorting you yet."
Drew was surprised by the question. Was he-- "Are you asking me out?"
Gerard laughed. "Fuck no. We work together, that's never a good idea. No, I'm just simply saying--you know, if you needed someone to make sure you didn't trip over your shoes when you stepped out of the limo or something, I could be there to help."
Drew narrowed her eyes at Gerard. "How did you know Zac was married?"
He smiled a knowing smile. "Come on. I'm familiar with Zac Hanson. Who isn't?"
"And it doesn't bother you that I'm...somewhat involved with him?"
"It's none of my business, really."
A wry smile crept across her face. "You Googled him, didn't you?"
"That's neither here nor there. The point is, you're going stag and I'm going stag and I see no reason why two people going stag can't show up stag in the same vehicle. That's all I'm saying."
"And if I accept?"
"Uh...what's the opposite of stag?"
"Not stag?"
"Then if you accept, you'll be not stag."
"Fine," Drew accepted his invitation as if it were a challenge.
"Very well then." Gerard stood up to leave. "By the way, there's been a schedule change. We're pulling an all-nighter on location in Killarney tonight. We've decided to try some different scenery for yours and Jason's fight scene. Be in makeup and ready to kick some ass in three hours."
As Gerard walked out the door, Drew dropped her forehead on her desk. This would be longest couple of
weeks in her entire life.
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