CHAPTER THIRTEEN
It must be the end of the road
It must be the end of you and I and forever, too
I'm walking the last bridge alone
We've given up on the good times and the bad we knew
When I'm alone in a cold, dark room, well
There's still someone that I can tell my troubles to
Me, myself, and I will never be alone
We'll find a way to get along
It will be fine
When all that's left is me, myself, and I
Myself and I will never be alone
We will find a way to get along
It will be fine
When all that's left is me, myself, and I
When did it start getting old?
When did it stop being worth the time just to see it through?
I don't want to get used to "it's over"
But we've already said too much to make it new
When I'm alone in a cold, dark room, well
There's still someone that I can tell my troubles to
Me, myself, and I will never be alone
We'll find a way to get along
It will be fine
When all that's left is me, myself, and I
Myself and I will never be alone
We will find a way to get along
It will be fine
When all that's left is me, myself, and I
Well it's hard to see
You don't belong to me
I gave you the best part of my life
Well I tried to be
Everything that you'd want me to be
I don't have to give you the reasons why
When all that's left is me, myself, and I
I'm not gonna try to forget
Maybe happiness is worth the chance of a bitter end
Cause here at the end of the road
I don't really care who was right
I'll give you the last words tonight
Cause me, myself, and I will never be alone
We'll find a way to get along
It will be fine
When all that's left is me, myself, and I
Myself and I will never be alone
We will find a way to get along
It will be fine
When all that's left is me, myself, and I
MEL
Mel's eyes poured tears as she sat in front of the laptop, listening to the song that Diana had mentioned
earlier; that Taylor had written after she'd left him. How dare he? How dare he use her to write songs like these? How dare he make her feel these feelings? These feelings she didn't want to feel? She hated him for it. She hated him more and more every time she thought of him. She wanted to smash her laptop with a hammer as she dried her tears, as if simply turning off the music wouldn't be enough.
Suddenly Mel's thoughts and tears were interrupted by her cell phone ringing. It was Drew, and Mel
couldn't begin to describe the relief she felt when she realized it was her.
The conversation began innocently enough. Mel hadn't let Drew know she'd been crying. Which really ended up not mattering, considering the bombshell Drew landed on Mel almost immediately.
"What do you mean, you had sex???" Mel asked incredulously into her cell phone.
"It just...happened," Drew answered. "Totally unplanned."
Mel was skeptical. "I'm sure," she said. "Based on past experiences, I find that a little hard to believe."
"I swear! I'm not even the one who initiated! It was so fast, we didn't even realize it until it was over!"
"Drew, he's married!"
"I know!"
"So what happens now?"
Drew sighed. "I have no idea. It was kinda awkward afterward. Like, we went our separate ways rather quick."
"Has he called?"
"No."
"Were you expecting him to?"
"No. Yeah, kinda. I don't know..."
"Did you call him?"
"Not yet. But I've been thinking about it."
"Don't," Mel warned. "Don't try to make him think you're chasing him. Don't forget he's married. I think you both need time to clear your heads."
"It's just, I don't know, it's like nothing ever changed. Like no time had passed at all. We had drinks, we had dinner, and then...it felt like ten years ago! How do you just wave something off like that?"
"If you have a connection, you have a connection. Things like that never change. But people do. You have, he has. It has been 10 years. He went off and got married and had kids. You went off and started your own career. Hell you may be about star in a movie! What you both need to think about, and possibly discuss is, is something like this worth ruining both your lives over? I highly doubt he'll leave his wife, you know."
"I know. He's always been extremely loyal. You know, I tried to just be a friend and ask about his wife and stuff but he refused to talk about her. Any of it. It was weird. What does THAT mean?"
"I don't know," Mel said, genuinely puzzled. "You'd think if you were just having a friendly dinner, then talking about his home life would be part of catching up."
"Exactly," Drew agreed. "Do you think maybe he felt weird about being there with me? Considering our past and all?"
"Maybe," Mel said. "I have half a mind to march over to his house and confront him. Except I don't know where he lives. And I certainly am not ready to meet his wife. Not after all the stuff I found out today, between you and my little visit with Diana and Nikki..."
"Oh yeah!" Drew said. "What happened there?"
"Well, I literally walked in on it. And you would love Nikki, honestly. She's such a sweetheart."
"She's Ike's wife, right?"
"Yes," Mel responded. "Anyway, we just all got to talking and Diana and Nikki had some choice things to say about Natalie and Kate. In not so many words, Natalie is a possessive, crazy gold digger and Kate is just crazy, snobby along with her."
"Wow. Well this is going to be interesting," Drew said.
"What is?"
"Meeting Zac's and Tay's wives and having to interact with them being who we are."
"Who said anything about us meeting them? Well, aside from my little Natalie meeting yesterday. But I mean on a casual basis? I don't plan on ever laying eyes on Natalie ever again."
"Was it that bad?"
"Oh, she didn't waste any time accusing me of being there strictly to steal Tay away from her. She knew
exactly who I was the second I walked in!"
"Good lord..."
"Yeah. And no doubt she'd know you, too, if your name ever came up. And given your current situation it's probably better that that didn't happen."
"Yeah...so what else did Diana have to say? Did she ask about me?"
"She did," Mel laughed a little. "She looked for you as soon as she hugged me."
"Aww, I miss her."
"I didn't realize how much I did till I walked in the house."
"So what else did she have to say?"
Mel sighed. "Well, I guess she felt the need to fill Nikki in on mine and Tay's relationship back in the day. And then proceeds to drop the bomb on me that Tay has never gotten over it."
"What?" Drew gasped. "I would hope not, then, after that bullshit he pulled that day!"
"I know, right? But still. How do you stay married for ten years and still not be over it? It's the dumbest thing I've ever heard! Well, not saying Diana is dumb, but you know what I mean."
"Rumor has it the only reason he married her was because he got her pregnant. It's no secret that she was four months along when they got married."
"But ten years in?" Mel said. "And the man is still chasing me?"
"Well, I don't know if I'd call it chasing. But you know neither one of you ever had closure, either," Drew said.
"You're the last one I would ever think would be defending him right now."
"I'm not defending! But you know how that family is. Once there are kids involved, divorce is out of the question."
"Oh please. They never even had the baby! And he's still with her! And beside, this is the 21st century. They can pretty much make whatever decisions they want. And with that logic, does that mean that they can do shit like you and Zac ended up doing last night, having their cake and eating it, too? It's bullshit."
"It is. I know."
"And now you're having to go through all this emotional shit and Diana and Nikki have to tell me shit I don't
need to hear and...bastards."
"Yes. Bastards," Drew agreed.
"I mean--" Mel was cut off by the sudden, startling sound of an obnoxiously loud car horn outside her
mother's house. "What the hell?" she said.
"What?" Drew asked on the other end of the phone.
"Damn car horns at the neighbor's house," Mel said as she stood up and walked toward the window.
"Anyway, what I was about to say was that Tay--" Mel was cut off once again as her heart stopped at the sight
she saw when she lifted one of the closed blinds. She could barely choke out the next words. "Oh my god...what the hell is this?"
"What??" Drew asked frantically. "Are you okay?"
"I don't know. That bastard is outside my house blowing his car horn...like a bastard..."
"Who?? Taylor??"
"Yes," Mel found herself whispering now, though she wasn't totally sure why.
"What the hell is he doing there?"
"I don't know!" He blew the horn more incessantly, urgently. "Uggh, I gotta go. I'll call you back."
"You better. I swear to god, I'll blow the hell out of your phone."
"I promise."
By the time Mel ended hers and Drew's call, she had gone from confused to furious.
_______________________________________________
Without thinking, Mel shoved her phone and her keys into her pocket and stuck her pistol into the back of her
pants. This was force of habit, as she'd had a concealed carry license since her days as a detective and fell into the habit of having it on her at every given second soon after her husband was killed. Collecting her pistol was just as routine as collecting her purse and car keys.
She flew out the front door and stormed down the walk toward Taylor's car and bent down and said to him
through the open passenger window, "Do you seriously lack the common, human decency to get the hell out of your car and ring a goddamn doorbell?"
"Get in," was his only response.
"You're out of your fucking mind."
"Maybe so. This is the last time I am going to tell you. Get in this car. NOW."
Something in his eyes led Mel to reach for the door handle and slide into the passenger seat of the car. She wasn't quite sure what it was. It wasn't anger or rage. She didn't feel any type of fear of him. It wasn't cold or blank. It wasn't desperation or pleading. It was nothing. Maybe what startled her and made her obey was the fact that she COULDN'T read him. That had never happened before.
As he drove off the curb, Mel felt completely trapped.
They rode in silence for several minutes. She couldn't describe how sitting in the car next to him made her feel. Almost like Drew said she felt with Zac the previous night. It felt like 10 years ago, like nothing had changed, except with shorter hair. And maturity. Well, she'd see about the maturity part, anyway. Her heart raced and it fluttered, much to her dismay. She missed him.
She swallowed a rising lump in her throat and resisted the urge to release her emotions through the rage she
knew she was capable of but had learned to control a long time ago. If Tay was gonna wreck a car, she didn't want to be in it.
Desperate to distract herself from the emotions she didn't want to feel, she settled on the next best thing
she was good at: backseat driving. "You're supposed to stop at stop signs," she simply said as Tay slowed through one, not coming to a complete stop. "That's why they make them large and red."
"Shut up," was his only response.
Mel huffed through her nose in disappointment. Still a bastard. Then she thought to herself for a second and turned to look his way, narrowing her eyes at him. "Are you kidnapping me?"
Obviously, Taylor was completely caught off guard. Breaking his emotionless expression and
hardly able to hide his amusement at such an absurd question, he looked at her in surprise, then back at the road, and then back to her. "What?" His eyes read bewilderment and his lips read a small smile.
"I'm just saying," Mel responded. "You show up at my house after ten years, demand that I get in the car with no explanation and now you're driving me to some unknown location. What else does this look like?"
He snorted a laugh out his nose and shook his head, watching the road as he drove. "Don't flatter
yourself. I promise I'll have you back to your mother's house in one piece."
"You better. You can't afford the lawsuit."
The car fell silent again. After a few more minutes, she realized they were on a long, deserted road outside of Tulsa. She was extremely familiar with this road, as she frequented it many times as a teenager. This was where teens and young adults came to cruise, party, and make out amongst other things, on weekend nights. Daylight on a weekday left them as the only car on the road.
"Really, Tay?" Mel asked. "You're bringing me here? What, so I can play mistress and you won't run into anyone you know? Typical."
"No," he answered through his teeth. "This is where I come to think. Alone. This road isn't like it used to be anymore."
She wondered, then, why the hell he chose to force her along, but she decided to keep her mouth shut. She had teased him enough.
After about half an hour in the car, Tay finally pulled over to the side of the road and got out of the car. Following his lead, Mel also stepped out. The view looked out over fields of green grass, as far as the eye could see. Mel breathed in the clean air and felt the light breeze on her face. How she missed being home...
She and Tay leaned against the passenger's side of his car side by side. She had been so intoxicated by the green pastures and blue sky and fresh air that she had almost been startled when he started talking. "Do you ever wonder how we got here? To this point?"
Mel had about a million smart-ass answers that she could have fired off in less than a minute but she decided she better behave herself. In all seriousness, she had no answer because she asked herself the very same question.
Tay continued. "I mean, did you ever see our lives ending up where they are now? To you and I, standing right here?"
This was the conversation Mel did not want to have. The one she had avoided for 10 years. If only she'd forgiven him much sooner, maybe she would be the one at home in their spread out ranch house, playing Miss Merry Housewife instead of Natalie. But they both knew she just wasn't that person. "No," Mel answered him quietly. Honestly.
"Neither did I," he said.
They stood in silence for another minute or two. Mel did not offer, nor intend to offer, up any conversation because frankly, she had no idea what to say. What could she say? She left him in a moment of rage and dropped him like a wet rag. Like all those years together didn't even matter. And then completely disappeared off the face of the earth. She had acted like a drama queen and drove him straight into Natalie's arms. They had both been at fault. But then again, she would never trade the years she had with John Bradshaw. Not in a million years.
Out loud, she felt herself breaking the silence before she even realized she was speaking. "Everything happens for a reason."
"Yeah, but at what cost?" was his response.
That was a good question. Mel had always felt like she had gotten the crap end of the deal, losing Tay first, and then her husband, while Tay got to sit pretty and get on with his life. But she never thought about what he might be feeling inside.
He continued. "I mean with us, and then...your husband, and..."
Mel shook her head. "News travels way too fast around here."
"Well, you did tell Ike and Zac at the show. Plus your mom has a big mouth."
"So does yours."
"I know. You saw her today. Glad you were able to visit."
"And got an earful."
"I'm sure you did."
"And met Nikki. She's a great girl."
"She is."
"You should have married her instead."
Tay chuckled and rubbed his face with his hands then ran them through his hair. "I should have married
you."
Stunned and speechless, Mel could only look at him.
He looked back at her and realization crossed his eyes. "I shouldn't have said that out loud. I'm sorry."
"Is that how you really feel?" she asked.
He nodded silently and then turned his attention back to the fields in front of him.
Mel had no response. None whatsoever.
The two of them were silent again. Mel's cell phone vibrated in her pocket. She knew it was Drew checking up on her. Suddenly, she was homesick for New York. To her drama-free life where all this emotion didn't exist. She was still mourning her husband for Christ sakes. Or so she had been telling herself. And now this. She wanted to run. She wanted to take off on foot right this second and just run. Run all the way to New
York. Without stopping or ever looking back.
She looked over at Tay and her feet felt like lead. Heavy lead.
"So how have you been?" he asked her, suddenly.
"Huh?" she asked. The question was so random and a bit redundant, she couldn't help but to look at him as if he had two heads.
He smiled, amused. "Well, our last couple of encounters have been so strange and...well you know...that I
never got around to asking. You know, that's the common, human, decent thing to do."
She smiled at his joke, referencing what she had said to him earlier. "Well," she started, shoving her hands into her pockets. "I live in New York City now, as you know."
"Yes," he responded.
"And there really isn't much to tell. I'm sure you already know. I write. I was a cop and then a detective..."
Tay's raised his eyebrows and looked at her in wide-eyed amusement. "Really? You?"
Mel rolled her eyes. "Yes, really."
"Like busting down doors and sneaking around corners and stuff?"
"A little bit. Not much. It's not as glamorous as it is on TV, you know."
"So more like blow-out interrogations and the whole good cop/bad cop routine? I bet you were always the bad cop." Tay's eyes glittered with fascination.
Mel sighed and shook her head. "Some got a little heated, yes. But again, not as glamorous as TV. Anyway, that's how I met John. Met him when I was in the academy. He was already a detective. I joined the force, got
promoted rather quickly and then after we got married I left the force and decided to focus on writing. Um, and then he was killed. And now here we are."
"I'm so sorry. I mean that's--wow. I'm--how long has it been now?"
"Three years."
Tay let out a sigh. "Man...Mel..."
"I know. You don't have to say anything. The deed is done. He always said he would want me to move on in the unlikely event but, you know. It's much easier said than done."
"I could imagine."
"No. You really can't."
Tay just stared at her. He didn't know what to say, so he just stared.
"I loved John," Mel continued. She touched her wedding ring on the necklace under her shirt. "I still wear my ring. I still love him, but it's not the same. I don't know how to describe it. I mean, how can you love
something that's not there, right?" Mel hadn't realized tears were rolling down her cheeks until she'd sniffed her running nose.
"I know," Tay said simply.
"Don't," Mel said. "Don't. You are married. Long time married. Cherish that."
"I know. I mean, I do. I mean...I mean you never left. You are always there. Right here," he motioned to his chest. "You are what I see when I close my eyes, you are there when I write my music. It's all about you. All
of it. Ten years, Mel. Ten years of you shutting me out of your life and you never once left mine. Ever."
"And here you stand, married and settled. Seriously," Mel said, drying her tears up. "You need to stop this."
"I've been bottling this up for a long time. I need you to know."
"I don't want, nor need, to know anything. This is wrong."
"You think I don't know that?" Tay crossed his arms and shifted his weight anxiously. "What is wrong is that we're standing here having this conversation."
"Well then what do you want to do, Tay? Do you want to pretend like the past 10 years never happened? Do you want to just run away together? Divorce your wife and send her alimony? I mean, really? Be realistic. You and I both know that Natalie is the queen bee here, not me. Not anymore. I didn't make that decision, don't you forget."
"Well you certainly didn't help. You wouldn't return my calls or emails. You'd hide when I came by the house. You wanted nothing to do with me. What was I gonna do, sit around and wait?"
"Well I certainly didn't expect you to turn around and knock up the first groupie who batted her eyelashes at
you in less than a year after we broke up!"
"She was only supposed to be a rebound!" Tay shouted, then immediately shut up. Silence. Absolute silence. It was obvious to Mel that Tay had never admitted this to himself before, much less said it out loud.
He sighed and leaned back against the car, holding his face in his hands. "The condom broke. She had this--this damned hand-stitched quilt project thing she was working on. Afterward I remember seeing the wrapper on the bedside table next to a pin cushion. I should have put two and two together. But I didn't. Not until after the wedding. I was so goddamn stupid. She always liked to talk about the band and was always asking how much this and that cost." He looked up toward the sky and took a deep breath. "She ended up losing the baby about a month after we got married. I mean, I was upset, naturally, and disappointed, but in a way kinda
relieved. Don't read me the wrong way, I obviously hate that it happened. But...god, I don't know. So anyway, you know how my family is about such things. And her family is even worse, damn. So, we got
married. After we lost the baby, we never had any other children. Not for lack of trying, mind you. And as you say, now here we are."
"But you went on to spend ten years with her..."
"What more would that do? I mean, she already had me. Hell, why not go ahead and just seal the deal. I mean, she's not the WORST person in the world to be married to."
"So you're just gonna continue to be in a loveless marriage. And keep trying to have children."
"Well, loveless is a strong word..."
"Seriously? I mean, you're standing here professing feelings for me and telling me that she was a mistake in not so many words."
"Well. I mean, we get along. We're friends. I've been with her for ten years. And besides, you're one to talk. You still love your husband."
"What are you talking about? I haven't said anything about--"
"You don't have to."
Mel sighed and rested her eyes for a moment. "So what do we do now?"
"I don't know."
"Drew and Zac had sex last night."
"I know."
"Things are getting complicated."
"I know."
"Natalie hates me."
"I know," Tay paused. Then he continued, "You know, all these years I was convinced she was cheating on me. That she never really loved me, it was all about the money. And now here I am with you--"
"Well, you haven't cheated."
"Not physically. But I revealed feelings I still have for you and emotional cheating is more dangerous."
"Tay, I'm sorry--"
"No," he cut her off. "We were young. And I--I was young and incredibly stupid. Took for granted what I had. Made your life hell. And that day, outside the tour bus--"
"Don't--"
"That day outside the bus was the worst day of my entire life. To this day I still beat myself up for it. That wasn't me. It still isn't. And you know that, you know me. You knew me then and I know you know me now. We haven't changed that much, you and I. And I am so sorry. I am so, so sorry."
"I was scared, Tay. Our relationship was already on the rocks. Then I found Natalie's number and then you--I always told you I wouldn't tolerate any type of violence. All it took was once. And I meant it."
"I know. I don't blame you one bit. Seriously. I just wish you would have punched me or something, instead of just disappearing on me."
"Tay. You and I both know we weren't going to last."
"That's not true."
"I know it is. And so do you."
"I want you to know that I never cheated on you, Mel. Never."
"I never technically cheated on you, either."
"Technically?"
"Well," Mel shrugged sheepishly. "I can't say I was exactly innocent during every single little 'break' we took. But never while we were together. I promise."
Tay laughed and shook his head, looking back over the fields again. "We were something back then, weren't
we?"
"Yep," Mel agreed. "We were."
"You know, I still consider you my best friend. I mean, you have Drew and all, but. I like to think I have you. I hope to still have you."
Mel laughed. "You are so psychotic."
"It's part of my charm."
"So how is Drew?" Tay asked. "Can't say I'm surprised that you're still attached at the hip."
"She's good. Kinda dealing with this Zac thing. They've been talking since the night of the show, you know. He apparently slipped the guard his number to give to her as she carried me home."
"Carried you home?"
"I got quite inebriated that night."
Tay laughed. "That sneaky bastard. Kate would kill him. And not just kill him. I think she'd be like some horror movie murderer and make it brutal and bloody and slow. I think she just might be that kind of crazy."
"If she finds out, you'll be the first to die."
"Trust me," Tay said. "I already suspected. My lips are sealed TIGHT."
"Well, other than that, she's doing pretty good. She's an actress now."
"Oh, really?"
"Yep. She started in modeling, but really found a home in acting. Been doing a lot of theatre. She has an audition for a movie soon. Pretty big deal."
"Wow," Tay said. "Good for her. Looks like everyone around you is famous but you." He laughed.
"Hey, I write for the Times, that's good enough for me. Seriously, though, if it weren't for her I don't know where I'd be right now. After John died, I was a mess. I was convinced I would be okay to live alone but she wouldn't have it. She sold her apartment and moved in with me. She saved me, I think."
"Well remind me that I need to personally thank her for that."
Mel scoffed. "Good luck with that meeting."
Tay turned to her, amused. "Why?"
"Because she hates you."
Tay laughed.
"I don't know why you think that's funny," Mel said.
"I expected about that much. She'll come around. She won't have a choice." He pointed at himself. "Charm. All over this face."
Mel laughed. Then she stopped. "Zac kissed me."
"I know."
"What?? So does Drew! Man, we worked so hard not to tell anyone. We were scared to death. When did you find out?"
"When you didn't tell me."
"That's exactly what Drew said about Zac! What is up with that??"
"Great minds," Tay answered. "See, now she has to forgive me."
Mel smiled. "I've missed this."
"Me, too," Tay responded. "I could talk to you for hours."
Suddenly, Tay had moved close to her. He was leaning in to kiss her and as he did, his hands slid around her waist and his left hand felt the pistol through her shirt that she had stuck in the back of her pants earlier. Before their lips met, he jerked away from her and stepped back about two feet, his face white as a sheet.
"What the fuck?? Is that a gun??" he said, in complete shock.
Mel looked at him, puzzled, and then her eyes widened in embarrassment. "Oh my god," she said. "I completely forgot about that!"
"How in the hell do you forget about a gun??" Tay asked, incredulously.
"I'm sorry, it's habit," Mel said.
"Habit? What did you think was going to happen here?"
"It stopped you from doing something stupid, didn't it?" she responded.
He let out a light laugh in crazy amusement. "I guess so."
"I'm sorry," she said again. "I have a concealed carry license. I just told you I used to be a cop. I started carrying around after John died. I'm on autopilot with it now. It's almost as common as my purse."
"Some purse," he answered.
Mel couldn't help but laugh at him. He was so freaked out. It looked cute on him.
Suddenly he said, "I wanted to kiss you."
"I know."
"So...did you want to kiss me?"
"Am I supposed to check yes or no on a note or something here?"
He smiled. "Seriously."
"Yes," she admitted.
With that he took a step toward her again, but she held her hand up to stop him, her palm resting on his
chest. He caught it and laid his hand over hers. She could feel his heart racing. "But we can't."
"Mel, I--"
"We can't. We've already stood here spilling our guts out. Kissing would only make things worse."
He let go of her hand and took a step back and looked at the ground. "You're right. You're absolutely right. I don't know what's gotten into me."
"It's the first time we've seen each other in years. Emotions are running high right now. It's natural. And it'll pass."
"I'm not so sure it will," Tay responded. "How can you stay so grounded right now?"
"Your current situation leaves me no choice."
He sighed and ran his hand through his hair. "Yeah, I guess so."
It was then that they realized that the sun was setting and they'd been talking in the dark blue of what was
left of the day. "I have to go," Mel said. "I have a plane to catch tomorrow."
"Back across the country."
"Yes," Mel responded.
"You can't leave me again."
"Tay. Listen to yourself. You're going to have to get a grip on yourself. Look at the big picture. Give yourself time to think. This isn't healthy. You're better than this."
"I know, I just--Mel, I thought I'd never see you again. And then you were at the show last weekend and I just haven't been right since. It's like, I had accepted the inevitable, what life had thrown at me. Adapted. And now here you are and everything's upside down and backward. I thought all I needed was closure, but it's just not enough."
"Tay, I know. I know. But this is reality. You are married and I have a life in New York. THIS is the reality."
Mel paused, trying to catch to catch the lump forming in her throat and the tears welling in her eyes. "The reality is that I have to go."
Tay grabbed her and wrapped his arms around her, pistol and all, and hugged her tightly. "I feel like this
is the end of an era," he said, his face buried in her hair.
"Think of it more like starting a brand new relationship," she said in his ear. She broke free of him and
looked in his eyes. "A platonic one."
He smiled and wiped away a tear, embarrassed that she had seen. "Yeah," he said. "Let's work on that."
With that, they got in the car and headed back to Mel's mother's house. They both knew that their lives,
as they knew it, were now forever changed. And though she never said it out loud, Mel felt the exact same emotions that Tay had expressed to her. Every single one of them.
I've got a feeling that I cannot contain
I can't believe this moment
You've got your eyes locked on me
In my head I think, it must be a mistake
But my heart says, take your chances
It could be this first dance is
The unexpected beautiful
I can barely admit I've been longing for
Stay here in my arms tonight
There's nothing that I wouldn't do
I just wanna be the one you're holding onto
If you want to run tonight
I'll take you anywhere you want me to
I'm giving you my heart cause I am lost without you
Cause I'm lost without you
I see it all align in front of my face
But like a shooting star fades
It could be gone just as fast as it came
I'm gonna take this moment and chase this fear right out of me
Come what may
I will have no regrets after today
The unexpected beautiful
I'm about to admit I've been longing for
Stay here in my arms tonight
There's nothing that I wouldn't do
I just wanna be the one you're holding onto
If you want to run tonight
I'll follow anywhere you want me to
I'm giving you my heart cause I am lost without you
Lost without you
It must be the end of the road
It must be the end of you and I and forever, too
I'm walking the last bridge alone
We've given up on the good times and the bad we knew
When I'm alone in a cold, dark room, well
There's still someone that I can tell my troubles to
Me, myself, and I will never be alone
We'll find a way to get along
It will be fine
When all that's left is me, myself, and I
Myself and I will never be alone
We will find a way to get along
It will be fine
When all that's left is me, myself, and I
When did it start getting old?
When did it stop being worth the time just to see it through?
I don't want to get used to "it's over"
But we've already said too much to make it new
When I'm alone in a cold, dark room, well
There's still someone that I can tell my troubles to
Me, myself, and I will never be alone
We'll find a way to get along
It will be fine
When all that's left is me, myself, and I
Myself and I will never be alone
We will find a way to get along
It will be fine
When all that's left is me, myself, and I
Well it's hard to see
You don't belong to me
I gave you the best part of my life
Well I tried to be
Everything that you'd want me to be
I don't have to give you the reasons why
When all that's left is me, myself, and I
I'm not gonna try to forget
Maybe happiness is worth the chance of a bitter end
Cause here at the end of the road
I don't really care who was right
I'll give you the last words tonight
Cause me, myself, and I will never be alone
We'll find a way to get along
It will be fine
When all that's left is me, myself, and I
Myself and I will never be alone
We will find a way to get along
It will be fine
When all that's left is me, myself, and I
MEL
Mel's eyes poured tears as she sat in front of the laptop, listening to the song that Diana had mentioned
earlier; that Taylor had written after she'd left him. How dare he? How dare he use her to write songs like these? How dare he make her feel these feelings? These feelings she didn't want to feel? She hated him for it. She hated him more and more every time she thought of him. She wanted to smash her laptop with a hammer as she dried her tears, as if simply turning off the music wouldn't be enough.
Suddenly Mel's thoughts and tears were interrupted by her cell phone ringing. It was Drew, and Mel
couldn't begin to describe the relief she felt when she realized it was her.
The conversation began innocently enough. Mel hadn't let Drew know she'd been crying. Which really ended up not mattering, considering the bombshell Drew landed on Mel almost immediately.
"What do you mean, you had sex???" Mel asked incredulously into her cell phone.
"It just...happened," Drew answered. "Totally unplanned."
Mel was skeptical. "I'm sure," she said. "Based on past experiences, I find that a little hard to believe."
"I swear! I'm not even the one who initiated! It was so fast, we didn't even realize it until it was over!"
"Drew, he's married!"
"I know!"
"So what happens now?"
Drew sighed. "I have no idea. It was kinda awkward afterward. Like, we went our separate ways rather quick."
"Has he called?"
"No."
"Were you expecting him to?"
"No. Yeah, kinda. I don't know..."
"Did you call him?"
"Not yet. But I've been thinking about it."
"Don't," Mel warned. "Don't try to make him think you're chasing him. Don't forget he's married. I think you both need time to clear your heads."
"It's just, I don't know, it's like nothing ever changed. Like no time had passed at all. We had drinks, we had dinner, and then...it felt like ten years ago! How do you just wave something off like that?"
"If you have a connection, you have a connection. Things like that never change. But people do. You have, he has. It has been 10 years. He went off and got married and had kids. You went off and started your own career. Hell you may be about star in a movie! What you both need to think about, and possibly discuss is, is something like this worth ruining both your lives over? I highly doubt he'll leave his wife, you know."
"I know. He's always been extremely loyal. You know, I tried to just be a friend and ask about his wife and stuff but he refused to talk about her. Any of it. It was weird. What does THAT mean?"
"I don't know," Mel said, genuinely puzzled. "You'd think if you were just having a friendly dinner, then talking about his home life would be part of catching up."
"Exactly," Drew agreed. "Do you think maybe he felt weird about being there with me? Considering our past and all?"
"Maybe," Mel said. "I have half a mind to march over to his house and confront him. Except I don't know where he lives. And I certainly am not ready to meet his wife. Not after all the stuff I found out today, between you and my little visit with Diana and Nikki..."
"Oh yeah!" Drew said. "What happened there?"
"Well, I literally walked in on it. And you would love Nikki, honestly. She's such a sweetheart."
"She's Ike's wife, right?"
"Yes," Mel responded. "Anyway, we just all got to talking and Diana and Nikki had some choice things to say about Natalie and Kate. In not so many words, Natalie is a possessive, crazy gold digger and Kate is just crazy, snobby along with her."
"Wow. Well this is going to be interesting," Drew said.
"What is?"
"Meeting Zac's and Tay's wives and having to interact with them being who we are."
"Who said anything about us meeting them? Well, aside from my little Natalie meeting yesterday. But I mean on a casual basis? I don't plan on ever laying eyes on Natalie ever again."
"Was it that bad?"
"Oh, she didn't waste any time accusing me of being there strictly to steal Tay away from her. She knew
exactly who I was the second I walked in!"
"Good lord..."
"Yeah. And no doubt she'd know you, too, if your name ever came up. And given your current situation it's probably better that that didn't happen."
"Yeah...so what else did Diana have to say? Did she ask about me?"
"She did," Mel laughed a little. "She looked for you as soon as she hugged me."
"Aww, I miss her."
"I didn't realize how much I did till I walked in the house."
"So what else did she have to say?"
Mel sighed. "Well, I guess she felt the need to fill Nikki in on mine and Tay's relationship back in the day. And then proceeds to drop the bomb on me that Tay has never gotten over it."
"What?" Drew gasped. "I would hope not, then, after that bullshit he pulled that day!"
"I know, right? But still. How do you stay married for ten years and still not be over it? It's the dumbest thing I've ever heard! Well, not saying Diana is dumb, but you know what I mean."
"Rumor has it the only reason he married her was because he got her pregnant. It's no secret that she was four months along when they got married."
"But ten years in?" Mel said. "And the man is still chasing me?"
"Well, I don't know if I'd call it chasing. But you know neither one of you ever had closure, either," Drew said.
"You're the last one I would ever think would be defending him right now."
"I'm not defending! But you know how that family is. Once there are kids involved, divorce is out of the question."
"Oh please. They never even had the baby! And he's still with her! And beside, this is the 21st century. They can pretty much make whatever decisions they want. And with that logic, does that mean that they can do shit like you and Zac ended up doing last night, having their cake and eating it, too? It's bullshit."
"It is. I know."
"And now you're having to go through all this emotional shit and Diana and Nikki have to tell me shit I don't
need to hear and...bastards."
"Yes. Bastards," Drew agreed.
"I mean--" Mel was cut off by the sudden, startling sound of an obnoxiously loud car horn outside her
mother's house. "What the hell?" she said.
"What?" Drew asked on the other end of the phone.
"Damn car horns at the neighbor's house," Mel said as she stood up and walked toward the window.
"Anyway, what I was about to say was that Tay--" Mel was cut off once again as her heart stopped at the sight
she saw when she lifted one of the closed blinds. She could barely choke out the next words. "Oh my god...what the hell is this?"
"What??" Drew asked frantically. "Are you okay?"
"I don't know. That bastard is outside my house blowing his car horn...like a bastard..."
"Who?? Taylor??"
"Yes," Mel found herself whispering now, though she wasn't totally sure why.
"What the hell is he doing there?"
"I don't know!" He blew the horn more incessantly, urgently. "Uggh, I gotta go. I'll call you back."
"You better. I swear to god, I'll blow the hell out of your phone."
"I promise."
By the time Mel ended hers and Drew's call, she had gone from confused to furious.
_______________________________________________
Without thinking, Mel shoved her phone and her keys into her pocket and stuck her pistol into the back of her
pants. This was force of habit, as she'd had a concealed carry license since her days as a detective and fell into the habit of having it on her at every given second soon after her husband was killed. Collecting her pistol was just as routine as collecting her purse and car keys.
She flew out the front door and stormed down the walk toward Taylor's car and bent down and said to him
through the open passenger window, "Do you seriously lack the common, human decency to get the hell out of your car and ring a goddamn doorbell?"
"Get in," was his only response.
"You're out of your fucking mind."
"Maybe so. This is the last time I am going to tell you. Get in this car. NOW."
Something in his eyes led Mel to reach for the door handle and slide into the passenger seat of the car. She wasn't quite sure what it was. It wasn't anger or rage. She didn't feel any type of fear of him. It wasn't cold or blank. It wasn't desperation or pleading. It was nothing. Maybe what startled her and made her obey was the fact that she COULDN'T read him. That had never happened before.
As he drove off the curb, Mel felt completely trapped.
They rode in silence for several minutes. She couldn't describe how sitting in the car next to him made her feel. Almost like Drew said she felt with Zac the previous night. It felt like 10 years ago, like nothing had changed, except with shorter hair. And maturity. Well, she'd see about the maturity part, anyway. Her heart raced and it fluttered, much to her dismay. She missed him.
She swallowed a rising lump in her throat and resisted the urge to release her emotions through the rage she
knew she was capable of but had learned to control a long time ago. If Tay was gonna wreck a car, she didn't want to be in it.
Desperate to distract herself from the emotions she didn't want to feel, she settled on the next best thing
she was good at: backseat driving. "You're supposed to stop at stop signs," she simply said as Tay slowed through one, not coming to a complete stop. "That's why they make them large and red."
"Shut up," was his only response.
Mel huffed through her nose in disappointment. Still a bastard. Then she thought to herself for a second and turned to look his way, narrowing her eyes at him. "Are you kidnapping me?"
Obviously, Taylor was completely caught off guard. Breaking his emotionless expression and
hardly able to hide his amusement at such an absurd question, he looked at her in surprise, then back at the road, and then back to her. "What?" His eyes read bewilderment and his lips read a small smile.
"I'm just saying," Mel responded. "You show up at my house after ten years, demand that I get in the car with no explanation and now you're driving me to some unknown location. What else does this look like?"
He snorted a laugh out his nose and shook his head, watching the road as he drove. "Don't flatter
yourself. I promise I'll have you back to your mother's house in one piece."
"You better. You can't afford the lawsuit."
The car fell silent again. After a few more minutes, she realized they were on a long, deserted road outside of Tulsa. She was extremely familiar with this road, as she frequented it many times as a teenager. This was where teens and young adults came to cruise, party, and make out amongst other things, on weekend nights. Daylight on a weekday left them as the only car on the road.
"Really, Tay?" Mel asked. "You're bringing me here? What, so I can play mistress and you won't run into anyone you know? Typical."
"No," he answered through his teeth. "This is where I come to think. Alone. This road isn't like it used to be anymore."
She wondered, then, why the hell he chose to force her along, but she decided to keep her mouth shut. She had teased him enough.
After about half an hour in the car, Tay finally pulled over to the side of the road and got out of the car. Following his lead, Mel also stepped out. The view looked out over fields of green grass, as far as the eye could see. Mel breathed in the clean air and felt the light breeze on her face. How she missed being home...
She and Tay leaned against the passenger's side of his car side by side. She had been so intoxicated by the green pastures and blue sky and fresh air that she had almost been startled when he started talking. "Do you ever wonder how we got here? To this point?"
Mel had about a million smart-ass answers that she could have fired off in less than a minute but she decided she better behave herself. In all seriousness, she had no answer because she asked herself the very same question.
Tay continued. "I mean, did you ever see our lives ending up where they are now? To you and I, standing right here?"
This was the conversation Mel did not want to have. The one she had avoided for 10 years. If only she'd forgiven him much sooner, maybe she would be the one at home in their spread out ranch house, playing Miss Merry Housewife instead of Natalie. But they both knew she just wasn't that person. "No," Mel answered him quietly. Honestly.
"Neither did I," he said.
They stood in silence for another minute or two. Mel did not offer, nor intend to offer, up any conversation because frankly, she had no idea what to say. What could she say? She left him in a moment of rage and dropped him like a wet rag. Like all those years together didn't even matter. And then completely disappeared off the face of the earth. She had acted like a drama queen and drove him straight into Natalie's arms. They had both been at fault. But then again, she would never trade the years she had with John Bradshaw. Not in a million years.
Out loud, she felt herself breaking the silence before she even realized she was speaking. "Everything happens for a reason."
"Yeah, but at what cost?" was his response.
That was a good question. Mel had always felt like she had gotten the crap end of the deal, losing Tay first, and then her husband, while Tay got to sit pretty and get on with his life. But she never thought about what he might be feeling inside.
He continued. "I mean with us, and then...your husband, and..."
Mel shook her head. "News travels way too fast around here."
"Well, you did tell Ike and Zac at the show. Plus your mom has a big mouth."
"So does yours."
"I know. You saw her today. Glad you were able to visit."
"And got an earful."
"I'm sure you did."
"And met Nikki. She's a great girl."
"She is."
"You should have married her instead."
Tay chuckled and rubbed his face with his hands then ran them through his hair. "I should have married
you."
Stunned and speechless, Mel could only look at him.
He looked back at her and realization crossed his eyes. "I shouldn't have said that out loud. I'm sorry."
"Is that how you really feel?" she asked.
He nodded silently and then turned his attention back to the fields in front of him.
Mel had no response. None whatsoever.
The two of them were silent again. Mel's cell phone vibrated in her pocket. She knew it was Drew checking up on her. Suddenly, she was homesick for New York. To her drama-free life where all this emotion didn't exist. She was still mourning her husband for Christ sakes. Or so she had been telling herself. And now this. She wanted to run. She wanted to take off on foot right this second and just run. Run all the way to New
York. Without stopping or ever looking back.
She looked over at Tay and her feet felt like lead. Heavy lead.
"So how have you been?" he asked her, suddenly.
"Huh?" she asked. The question was so random and a bit redundant, she couldn't help but to look at him as if he had two heads.
He smiled, amused. "Well, our last couple of encounters have been so strange and...well you know...that I
never got around to asking. You know, that's the common, human, decent thing to do."
She smiled at his joke, referencing what she had said to him earlier. "Well," she started, shoving her hands into her pockets. "I live in New York City now, as you know."
"Yes," he responded.
"And there really isn't much to tell. I'm sure you already know. I write. I was a cop and then a detective..."
Tay's raised his eyebrows and looked at her in wide-eyed amusement. "Really? You?"
Mel rolled her eyes. "Yes, really."
"Like busting down doors and sneaking around corners and stuff?"
"A little bit. Not much. It's not as glamorous as it is on TV, you know."
"So more like blow-out interrogations and the whole good cop/bad cop routine? I bet you were always the bad cop." Tay's eyes glittered with fascination.
Mel sighed and shook her head. "Some got a little heated, yes. But again, not as glamorous as TV. Anyway, that's how I met John. Met him when I was in the academy. He was already a detective. I joined the force, got
promoted rather quickly and then after we got married I left the force and decided to focus on writing. Um, and then he was killed. And now here we are."
"I'm so sorry. I mean that's--wow. I'm--how long has it been now?"
"Three years."
Tay let out a sigh. "Man...Mel..."
"I know. You don't have to say anything. The deed is done. He always said he would want me to move on in the unlikely event but, you know. It's much easier said than done."
"I could imagine."
"No. You really can't."
Tay just stared at her. He didn't know what to say, so he just stared.
"I loved John," Mel continued. She touched her wedding ring on the necklace under her shirt. "I still wear my ring. I still love him, but it's not the same. I don't know how to describe it. I mean, how can you love
something that's not there, right?" Mel hadn't realized tears were rolling down her cheeks until she'd sniffed her running nose.
"I know," Tay said simply.
"Don't," Mel said. "Don't. You are married. Long time married. Cherish that."
"I know. I mean, I do. I mean...I mean you never left. You are always there. Right here," he motioned to his chest. "You are what I see when I close my eyes, you are there when I write my music. It's all about you. All
of it. Ten years, Mel. Ten years of you shutting me out of your life and you never once left mine. Ever."
"And here you stand, married and settled. Seriously," Mel said, drying her tears up. "You need to stop this."
"I've been bottling this up for a long time. I need you to know."
"I don't want, nor need, to know anything. This is wrong."
"You think I don't know that?" Tay crossed his arms and shifted his weight anxiously. "What is wrong is that we're standing here having this conversation."
"Well then what do you want to do, Tay? Do you want to pretend like the past 10 years never happened? Do you want to just run away together? Divorce your wife and send her alimony? I mean, really? Be realistic. You and I both know that Natalie is the queen bee here, not me. Not anymore. I didn't make that decision, don't you forget."
"Well you certainly didn't help. You wouldn't return my calls or emails. You'd hide when I came by the house. You wanted nothing to do with me. What was I gonna do, sit around and wait?"
"Well I certainly didn't expect you to turn around and knock up the first groupie who batted her eyelashes at
you in less than a year after we broke up!"
"She was only supposed to be a rebound!" Tay shouted, then immediately shut up. Silence. Absolute silence. It was obvious to Mel that Tay had never admitted this to himself before, much less said it out loud.
He sighed and leaned back against the car, holding his face in his hands. "The condom broke. She had this--this damned hand-stitched quilt project thing she was working on. Afterward I remember seeing the wrapper on the bedside table next to a pin cushion. I should have put two and two together. But I didn't. Not until after the wedding. I was so goddamn stupid. She always liked to talk about the band and was always asking how much this and that cost." He looked up toward the sky and took a deep breath. "She ended up losing the baby about a month after we got married. I mean, I was upset, naturally, and disappointed, but in a way kinda
relieved. Don't read me the wrong way, I obviously hate that it happened. But...god, I don't know. So anyway, you know how my family is about such things. And her family is even worse, damn. So, we got
married. After we lost the baby, we never had any other children. Not for lack of trying, mind you. And as you say, now here we are."
"But you went on to spend ten years with her..."
"What more would that do? I mean, she already had me. Hell, why not go ahead and just seal the deal. I mean, she's not the WORST person in the world to be married to."
"So you're just gonna continue to be in a loveless marriage. And keep trying to have children."
"Well, loveless is a strong word..."
"Seriously? I mean, you're standing here professing feelings for me and telling me that she was a mistake in not so many words."
"Well. I mean, we get along. We're friends. I've been with her for ten years. And besides, you're one to talk. You still love your husband."
"What are you talking about? I haven't said anything about--"
"You don't have to."
Mel sighed and rested her eyes for a moment. "So what do we do now?"
"I don't know."
"Drew and Zac had sex last night."
"I know."
"Things are getting complicated."
"I know."
"Natalie hates me."
"I know," Tay paused. Then he continued, "You know, all these years I was convinced she was cheating on me. That she never really loved me, it was all about the money. And now here I am with you--"
"Well, you haven't cheated."
"Not physically. But I revealed feelings I still have for you and emotional cheating is more dangerous."
"Tay, I'm sorry--"
"No," he cut her off. "We were young. And I--I was young and incredibly stupid. Took for granted what I had. Made your life hell. And that day, outside the tour bus--"
"Don't--"
"That day outside the bus was the worst day of my entire life. To this day I still beat myself up for it. That wasn't me. It still isn't. And you know that, you know me. You knew me then and I know you know me now. We haven't changed that much, you and I. And I am so sorry. I am so, so sorry."
"I was scared, Tay. Our relationship was already on the rocks. Then I found Natalie's number and then you--I always told you I wouldn't tolerate any type of violence. All it took was once. And I meant it."
"I know. I don't blame you one bit. Seriously. I just wish you would have punched me or something, instead of just disappearing on me."
"Tay. You and I both know we weren't going to last."
"That's not true."
"I know it is. And so do you."
"I want you to know that I never cheated on you, Mel. Never."
"I never technically cheated on you, either."
"Technically?"
"Well," Mel shrugged sheepishly. "I can't say I was exactly innocent during every single little 'break' we took. But never while we were together. I promise."
Tay laughed and shook his head, looking back over the fields again. "We were something back then, weren't
we?"
"Yep," Mel agreed. "We were."
"You know, I still consider you my best friend. I mean, you have Drew and all, but. I like to think I have you. I hope to still have you."
Mel laughed. "You are so psychotic."
"It's part of my charm."
"So how is Drew?" Tay asked. "Can't say I'm surprised that you're still attached at the hip."
"She's good. Kinda dealing with this Zac thing. They've been talking since the night of the show, you know. He apparently slipped the guard his number to give to her as she carried me home."
"Carried you home?"
"I got quite inebriated that night."
Tay laughed. "That sneaky bastard. Kate would kill him. And not just kill him. I think she'd be like some horror movie murderer and make it brutal and bloody and slow. I think she just might be that kind of crazy."
"If she finds out, you'll be the first to die."
"Trust me," Tay said. "I already suspected. My lips are sealed TIGHT."
"Well, other than that, she's doing pretty good. She's an actress now."
"Oh, really?"
"Yep. She started in modeling, but really found a home in acting. Been doing a lot of theatre. She has an audition for a movie soon. Pretty big deal."
"Wow," Tay said. "Good for her. Looks like everyone around you is famous but you." He laughed.
"Hey, I write for the Times, that's good enough for me. Seriously, though, if it weren't for her I don't know where I'd be right now. After John died, I was a mess. I was convinced I would be okay to live alone but she wouldn't have it. She sold her apartment and moved in with me. She saved me, I think."
"Well remind me that I need to personally thank her for that."
Mel scoffed. "Good luck with that meeting."
Tay turned to her, amused. "Why?"
"Because she hates you."
Tay laughed.
"I don't know why you think that's funny," Mel said.
"I expected about that much. She'll come around. She won't have a choice." He pointed at himself. "Charm. All over this face."
Mel laughed. Then she stopped. "Zac kissed me."
"I know."
"What?? So does Drew! Man, we worked so hard not to tell anyone. We were scared to death. When did you find out?"
"When you didn't tell me."
"That's exactly what Drew said about Zac! What is up with that??"
"Great minds," Tay answered. "See, now she has to forgive me."
Mel smiled. "I've missed this."
"Me, too," Tay responded. "I could talk to you for hours."
Suddenly, Tay had moved close to her. He was leaning in to kiss her and as he did, his hands slid around her waist and his left hand felt the pistol through her shirt that she had stuck in the back of her pants earlier. Before their lips met, he jerked away from her and stepped back about two feet, his face white as a sheet.
"What the fuck?? Is that a gun??" he said, in complete shock.
Mel looked at him, puzzled, and then her eyes widened in embarrassment. "Oh my god," she said. "I completely forgot about that!"
"How in the hell do you forget about a gun??" Tay asked, incredulously.
"I'm sorry, it's habit," Mel said.
"Habit? What did you think was going to happen here?"
"It stopped you from doing something stupid, didn't it?" she responded.
He let out a light laugh in crazy amusement. "I guess so."
"I'm sorry," she said again. "I have a concealed carry license. I just told you I used to be a cop. I started carrying around after John died. I'm on autopilot with it now. It's almost as common as my purse."
"Some purse," he answered.
Mel couldn't help but laugh at him. He was so freaked out. It looked cute on him.
Suddenly he said, "I wanted to kiss you."
"I know."
"So...did you want to kiss me?"
"Am I supposed to check yes or no on a note or something here?"
He smiled. "Seriously."
"Yes," she admitted.
With that he took a step toward her again, but she held her hand up to stop him, her palm resting on his
chest. He caught it and laid his hand over hers. She could feel his heart racing. "But we can't."
"Mel, I--"
"We can't. We've already stood here spilling our guts out. Kissing would only make things worse."
He let go of her hand and took a step back and looked at the ground. "You're right. You're absolutely right. I don't know what's gotten into me."
"It's the first time we've seen each other in years. Emotions are running high right now. It's natural. And it'll pass."
"I'm not so sure it will," Tay responded. "How can you stay so grounded right now?"
"Your current situation leaves me no choice."
He sighed and ran his hand through his hair. "Yeah, I guess so."
It was then that they realized that the sun was setting and they'd been talking in the dark blue of what was
left of the day. "I have to go," Mel said. "I have a plane to catch tomorrow."
"Back across the country."
"Yes," Mel responded.
"You can't leave me again."
"Tay. Listen to yourself. You're going to have to get a grip on yourself. Look at the big picture. Give yourself time to think. This isn't healthy. You're better than this."
"I know, I just--Mel, I thought I'd never see you again. And then you were at the show last weekend and I just haven't been right since. It's like, I had accepted the inevitable, what life had thrown at me. Adapted. And now here you are and everything's upside down and backward. I thought all I needed was closure, but it's just not enough."
"Tay, I know. I know. But this is reality. You are married and I have a life in New York. THIS is the reality."
Mel paused, trying to catch to catch the lump forming in her throat and the tears welling in her eyes. "The reality is that I have to go."
Tay grabbed her and wrapped his arms around her, pistol and all, and hugged her tightly. "I feel like this
is the end of an era," he said, his face buried in her hair.
"Think of it more like starting a brand new relationship," she said in his ear. She broke free of him and
looked in his eyes. "A platonic one."
He smiled and wiped away a tear, embarrassed that she had seen. "Yeah," he said. "Let's work on that."
With that, they got in the car and headed back to Mel's mother's house. They both knew that their lives,
as they knew it, were now forever changed. And though she never said it out loud, Mel felt the exact same emotions that Tay had expressed to her. Every single one of them.
I've got a feeling that I cannot contain
I can't believe this moment
You've got your eyes locked on me
In my head I think, it must be a mistake
But my heart says, take your chances
It could be this first dance is
The unexpected beautiful
I can barely admit I've been longing for
Stay here in my arms tonight
There's nothing that I wouldn't do
I just wanna be the one you're holding onto
If you want to run tonight
I'll take you anywhere you want me to
I'm giving you my heart cause I am lost without you
Cause I'm lost without you
I see it all align in front of my face
But like a shooting star fades
It could be gone just as fast as it came
I'm gonna take this moment and chase this fear right out of me
Come what may
I will have no regrets after today
The unexpected beautiful
I'm about to admit I've been longing for
Stay here in my arms tonight
There's nothing that I wouldn't do
I just wanna be the one you're holding onto
If you want to run tonight
I'll follow anywhere you want me to
I'm giving you my heart cause I am lost without you
Lost without you