*For Amy*
CHAPTER FORTY-TWO
MEL
Mel trudged down the stairs in a fluffy white robe she found in her bathroom tied over her equally as comfy
pajamas. Her pants were bright pink fleece with gray bunny rabbits all over them. They were her favorite. And with the way she was feeling that morning that was all she wanted to wear.
She neared the kitchen and smelled coffee. Surely this was her imagination playing tricks on her, as they had bought absolutely no groceries for their visit. She entered the kitchen and Zac sat at the bar having coffee over an Italian newspaper. She glanced in the garbage can and realized that Zac had snuck out that morning and done a little shopping. Bless him.
She poured herself some coffee and noticed Zac giving her the once-over and smiling as she walked past. "Nice pants," he commented.
She stopped and made a face at him. "I watched you puke your guts out last night."
"Yep. And this morning I feel wonderful!"
"Don't pick on my rabbits." She took a seat across from him at the bar. "Why are you reading that paper? The whole thing's in Italian."
"I'm not reading the whole thing. The art in the comics are pretty funny. I'm just making up my own dialogue in my head."
"Is that a joke?"
He smiled and went back to his comics. He was obviously serious. Mel rolled her eyes.
"So I think I've decided I'm not selling."
Zac looked up from his comics and smiled. "What made you change your mind?"
"Well...that comment you made yesterday about letting such a good house go to waste--that kinda stuck with me. You were right, it is a shame. And I have plenty of family around who could use this house if they ever wanted to travel here. You and Kate or Ike and Nikki, or my parents or your parents. Or Drew. Tons of people. I would definitely spend more time here."
He nodded. "That's really cool. I'd definitely want to come back here."
Mel smiled and sipped her coffee, happy with the decision she had made.
A few hours later, Zac disappeared and Mel met with the realtor. He was obviously disappointed at the fact that she chose not to sell but regardless he was helpful with the information that she did need to know, things like yard upkeep and taxes. He remembered Bernice well and spoke fondly of her, as she had apparently spent quite a lot of time in the lavish Italian villa. It turned out, he was the one who had sold her the villa in the first place and the pair became friends over time. However business was business and Mel knew he was disappointed at not getting the commission for the sale of the house. But what could she do? She loved this house.
For the rest of the day, Zac and Mel explored Florence. They shopped for souvenirs and Mel even indulged in a little fashion retail therapy. After all, who could go to Italy and not pick up a little Versace? She could get
it in the states just as easily, but it was more fun buying Italian designer clothing straight from Italy!
She managed to pick Drew up a little Versace collection of her own for her birthday, which reminded Mel that she needed to text her to let her know that she would arrive in Ireland the next afternoon.
__________________________________________________
"Up and at 'em, let's go!" Zac hovered over Mel's bed, attempting to wake her.
Mel opened her eyes, annoyed. "Zac we still have, like, three hours."
"I know. But we need to go ahead and start getting ready and heading to the airport!"
Sending Zac out the door, Mel sat up in her bed. She knew Zac was excited to see Drew. Poor guy hadn't seen her in three months. Poor guy? Hell, SHE hadn't seen Drew in three months. And she'd never been on a movie set before, so that would be exciting. And then--oh. And then there was Jason.
Mel's stomach began to churn. It wasn't like there was some kind of choice to be made or anything. She and Jason knew where they stood with each other, no question about it. She couldn't deny that if the situations
were different she'd be waiting on him in Hawaii right now. Her heart belonged to Taylor, one hundred percent and nothing would ever change that. Mel knew that and Jason knew that. But physically?
Physically there was just no getting around it. Physically Mel just wanted to tear Jason to shreds every time she laid her eyes on him. She guessed that some natural urges couldn't be helped. But acting on them
could. This would be the longest three days of her life.
With Zac on top of her at every given moment, and Mel ready to smack him, they finally made it to the airport, an entire hour before takeoff. Zac kept a constant check on the time. Mel was exhausted just watching him.
"So this flight is, what, three and a half? Four hours?" he had asked her for the second time.
"Yes," Mel sighed listlessly. She understood that he was excited. But she couldn't deny that she would be more than happy to let Drew take the reins with him for awhile. It was such a relief that she had those few days off from filming.
Mel swore she saw Zac's ears perk as they called their flight and he was off to the gate without a second glance back. Mel followed more slowly vowing never to get on another plane for as long as she lived after this trip was over with.
_________________________________________________
When you have no light to guide you
And no one to walk beside you
I Will Come To You, oh, I Will Come To You
When the night is dark and stormy
You won't have to reach out for me
I Will Come To You, oh, I Will Come To You
Sometimes when all your dreams may have seen better days
And you don't know how or why but you've lost your way
Have no fear when your tears are falling
I will hear your spirit calling
And I swear I'll be there come what may
Cause even if we can't be together
We'll be friends now and forever
And I swear that I'll be there, come what may
We all need somebody we can turn to
Someone who will always understand
So if you feel that your soul is dying
And you need the strength to keep trying
I'll reach out and take your hand
Another country, another hotel. Another clerk that Zac gave orders to. One room, two beds. This time they were able to accommodate. Mel thought she witnessed the relief physically taking over him.
The ride to the hotel was so gorgeous Mel was tempted to get out and walk the entire way just so she could take it all in. Yes, Tuscany was beautiful but it didn't hold a candle to Killarney, Ireland. It was no wonder the color green was associated with Ireland. Pictures didn't come close to doing it justice. Killarney was green and lush and absolutely beautiful. Even on an overcast day like that one was.
Mel had decided that since it was getting late in the afternoon that maybe they should wait to storm Drew's set the next morning so as to not interrupt them in the middle of their day that day. Zac was having none of it. "Well she said she put you on a list, right? And that you could come any time."
"Well, yeah, but we need to try to at least be respectful." She didn't want to add that she didn't think she was quite ready to see Jason yet either.
However Mel's arm was twisted and now they stood in front of security at the movie lot. It wasn't what Mel expected. There was a huge, warehouse-like building off to their left and the lot was full of trailers and
golf carts and one or two cars. People milled around all over, carrying props, pushing carts of more props, a few people were in costume. She felt so embarrassed just barging in like this.
After the guard checked Mel's name off he asked, "And who is this?"
"Uh, this is Zac Hanson," she told him. She didn't know why she felt surprised that she even had to tell him. She knew better. "Um, he probably isn't on the list, it's kind of--"
"Zac Hanson," the guard's thick Irish accent recited back. "Here you are."
Mel and Zac looked at each other, confused. "I thought Drew didn't know?" he asked her.
She shrugged. "I didn't tell her."
The guard didn't hear their exchange. "Mr. Hanson, we thought you would never show up. You're name's been on this list since day one!"
Mel looked over at Zac again and he shifted his weight uncomfortably. Wow. Drew had so hoped he would show up that she put him on the list the very first day. Mel was slightly flabbergasted by this and it was clear
that Zac didn't know how he was supposed to react, either.
"Here are your passes," the guard said, bringing both of them back to the real world. "Wear them around your necks the entire time and don't ever walk into filming in the middle of a scene. Video and photography is strictly prohibited and if you're caught doing either you will be escorted off the premises and permanently banned. Are we clear?"
After agreeing with the guard, he released them and they had free reign over the movie lot. They stood still for a moment and looked around, not really knowing where to start.
Suddenly Mel was sure she spotted her. Tall, long silver hair, curly down to her waist, big bouffant on top with some kind of hair accessories in. Simple jeans and hoodie. Drew walked up the steps and into her
trailer.
"Okay, she just went into her trailer," Mel said to Zac. "You stand off to the side so she can't see you and I'll go knock on her door."
Zac followed Mel obediently and Mel climbed the steps to Drew's trailer and took a deep breath before knocking. She wasn't sure why she was so nervous all of a sudden. Was she--was she star struck? By Drew???
Mel barely had two knocks in before Drew flung open her trailer door and squealed. Her appearance caught Mel off guard for a bit before she responded and stepped into the trailer and was clobbered by Drew who hugged her tight and began to bawl. "I'm so glad you're here!" she said between sobs.
Mel found herself crying as well. It was hard to say how much you missed someone sometimes until you were reunited with them. This was something that Mel and Drew had definitely learned the hard way.
After they dried themselves up, Mel took a step back and looked Drew over. "Oh my god," she laughed. "I totally wouldn't recognize you this way!"
Drew smiled, sheepishly. "I know. I kinda hate the eyebrows but I LOVE having this much hair! I'm thinking about growing mine out. Maybe getting extensions in my natural hair until it grows out."
"Oh, so that's a wig?"
"Uh, no. They seriously dyed my hair this color. And then added the hell out of some extensions and hair pieces."
"So then Magdara is wearing hoodies nowadays?"
Drew laughed. "I just wrapped filming for the day. I just came back from having my makeup removed. Oh yeah that reminds me, I have really bad news! Remember when I said I only had one day of filming this
week? Well Gerard changed it and now I'm filming every damn day this week."
"Oh no!! Tomorrow's your birthday!"
"I know! But the plus side of it is, it means we can wrap filming two weeks early. We're making amazing time!"
Mel smiled. "That's awesome!! Oh and speaking of your birthday, I brought something for you. Picked you up a little something in Italy. Let me check and see if they're bringing it around yet."
" 'They?' Is it that big?" Drew asked, intrigued.
"Oh it's plenty big," Mel said. She poked her head out the door and looked over at Zac signaling that she was ready for him.
Zac hadn't even stepped onto the first step when Drew spied him behind Mel and let out a blood-curdling scream. Mel's ears rang as Drew bounded out the door and threw herself into Zac's arms, a fresh batch of tears escaping her eyes.
Mel turned around to watch and smiled at the sight. Zac was all smiles as he hugged Drew tightly, looking completely content. It was a good several seconds before they finally let go of each other and they
automatically escaped into their own little Drew and Zac world.
Not wanting to disturb them, Mel decided she might as well do some roaming of the lot herself and hopefully find Jason while she still had a sliver of daylight left to see. She figured she better get this ice breaker out
of the way. This would be the first time since she'd met Jason that she was completely off the market and unavailable. Things would be different.
Making plans to meet back up with Zac later to go back to the hotel, Mel began to walk the lot slowly, looking around. As dusk set in she tried not to look too much like she was looking for anything specific. She
didn't want anyone to stop and ask if they could help her or anything. She wasn't in the mood to make up an answer. There was a trailer that sat right beside Drew's and a couple more after that one. She passed the first trailer, looking for a quick passageway to get behind them when she heard a cat call whistle from behind. She didn't think anything of it. Nobody knew her here and she figured it was a couple of crew members messing around.
Seeing an opening behind the trailer she just passed, she went to cut a left between them when she heard, "Hey, gorgeous! Looking for something?"
Mel stopped in her tracks and felt the blood rise in her cheeks. Blushing, she turned around. There he was, standing on the steps of the trailer. It was his trailer that she was about to cut behind. She couldn't deny the butterflies in her stomach as she laid eyes on him. She determined that would probably never change. He just had that something about him. Every woman swooned upon sight of him. They just DID.
Mel smiled as Jason flashed her his signature award-winning smile. He was bigger than she remembered him. Much bigger. And apparently jeans and hoodies were the signature uniform around here. He wore a dark blue one with white strings, zipped up half way, sleeves pushed up quarter length. Mel's weakness. His hair was longer--much longer. She wasn't sure if it was all real or not, but it hung loose and natural past his
shoulders.
As he sauntered--Jason sauntered, he did not walk--toward her, Mel's uterus swooned. Wait, her--did she? Did her UTERUS literally swoon at this? Completely confused with herself and that thought popping into her
head she decided that yes, her uterus had in fact swooned. And she was okay with this. The funny phrase actually brought her back to reality and she was grateful for it.
When Jason reached Mel, he scooped her up and wrapped her into a tight hug. She wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him back, immediately wishing that she hadn't. This was strange, it was--she felt guilty. For both Tay and Jason. She was so completely confused...
Jason's voice interrupted her thoughts when he broke their hug. "You know, I'm not the kind of guy that normally does that whole mushy missing people shit. I mean when you see them, you see them, right? But I really have missed you."
Mel blushed and smiled at him. "I've, uh, I've missed you, too."
He smirked at her. "Seriously?"
"Of course I have! I was looking for you, wasn't I?"
Jason looked amused. "Oh you were, huh?"
"Well...yeah...I wanted a tour of the set and I thought 'Who better to be my tour guide than some random Hawaiian?' And then you showed up!"
"Right..." he smiled and put his arm around her shoulders and they began to walk. "So what do you want to see first?"
"I've never been on a movie set before. Surprise me."
"Well you've pretty much seen the outside. This is about it. We've been on location a few times in the country sides of Killarney but most of it happens in that building right there," he said, pointing to the
warehouse-like building. "There's a lot of green screen stuff in this movie. A lot of CGI."
"Some movies suck with a lot of CGI," Mel said.
Jason chuckled. "Not this one."
They walked a few more steps and Mel had just begun feeling comfortable with the situation when Jason stopped walking and suddenly said, "Yanno, let's just--let's just go ahead and address the big white elephant in the room. Let's just get it over with."
Mel's heart stopped. She knew this would have to happen eventually, she just wasn't ready for it now. "Um, I...okay...
"I'm happy for you," he continued. "Things seem to be going the way you wanted--the way they're meant to go. I mean, he's a pretty stand-up guy, right?"
"Uh, yeah..." Mel had no idea what she was supposed to say here. Was she supposed to say anything? Or did Jason just feel the need to get things off his chest?
He sighed. "I don't know...I don't really know how to act with you right now. It's weird, I--we've had a very sexual relationship. It's, like, what we DO. You know? And when you mix that with the friendship that we have--it kind of starts feeling like a relationship. I mean we can say all day long that it's not and we're just friends and shit, but you can't deny what it feels like. You know? And it's weird. I don't think I--I'm not sure I know how to be just friends with you."
Mel wasn't sure why, but she felt devastated. Crushed. She felt like a part of her heart had been ripped up, stomped on, and then torn to shreds and lit on fire. She hadn't wanted to cry but emotions were running high
at the moment and she started to sniffle. Her eyes began to fill with tears and her voice started to crack as she said, "I didn't want this to be weird."
Jason's tone turned to immediate regret. Quickly he took her face in his hands and turned her face toward him. "No no no no no," he said, shaking his head. "I didn't mean--Mel, I promise I'm not going anywhere. I promise. I'm here for you no matter what, you know that. You know that. Please don't cry. Please? I can't
take it. I just mean--I just mean our relationship's gonna have to change. Okay? That's all."
Tears still running down her cheeks, Mel sniffled again. "But what if--what if it is weird and you don't--you're the only person that keeps me sane sometimes in this crazy shit I'm going through and--what if you decide you don't want to be there anymore?"
"Mel. No. Come on. Look, I'm not always going to be thrilled with every decision you make. And you're not always going to be thrilled with every decision I make. That's just the nature of the beast. We both know what the reality is here. And I've chos--I have accepted it. I only want you to be happy. That's it. And if being with him is what it takes then that makes me happy, too. Okay?"
Mel bawled and shoved her face in his chest. It was the only part of his body her face would reach. "I was so afraid to lose you," she said, her voice muffled in his hoodie. "I knew. Jason, I knew what things were beginning to feel like with us. And I know you already knew when it happened but I was so afraid to tell you face to face because I was afraid--"
He hugged her back and kissed the top of her head. "Everything is okay, I promise." Then he chuckled lightly. "We just--we just gotta try not to end up in bed together."
Mel laughed, beginning to feel better. "I think we've only done it in a bed once."
"Oh yeah..."
Smiling, she pulled away from him and wiped the tears from her face. "Goddamn I'm such a fucking girl. Go show me this damn movie set."
_____________________________________________________________
I thought I was so tough
Who knew you could play so rough
I've got to slow down cause you spun my head around
You read me so well
You make it hard to tell
Why all my words fail when I stop, you begin
To Cut Right Through Me
To Cut Right Through Me
I can't explain how you do what you're doing
You Cut Right Through Me
You Cut Right Through Me
I can't turn away, I don't know how you do it
I say a word and say too much
You take a piece of everything you touch
You Cut Right Through Me, yeah
Without a second look
You caught me on your hook
I've never felt like that, gave me a heart attack
I can't recover
You're not like the others
It doesn't matter where I start, you begin
Like a mystery, you're alluring
You're disarming me, and you know it
TAYLOR
It was a rare occasion, a very rare occasion, when Natalie called Taylor home early from the studio. His heart pounded when he walked in his front door, not knowing what he was walking into. She had been unusually quiet lately, not mentioning even once if she had actually seen the pictures from Majestic.
A light bulb immediately went off in his head. That was it. That was exactly what this was. She had seen them and she was pissed off. That's why she had been so quiet. And she was doing it. Goddamn it, she was doing it. She was filing for divorce. The very thing he had feared would happen was actually happening before he had his chance to do it first. He had always known--ALWAYS known--that there was something conniving and manipulative about her and he always wondered exactly how far she would take it one day. And now he knew.
He rounded the corner into their living room and Natalie stood from the sofa, a big smile spreading across her face. He knew her. Her beautiful smile was genuine. Now Taylor was as surprised and confused as he'd ever been. He rounded the sofa and stood in front of her. "Is everything okay?"
As she smiled, her eyes sparkled. Taylor's heart pounded even harder. He tried desperately to play the possible upcoming scenario out in his head so that he would have a reaction prepared but the truth was he had no idea what scenario was coming. He was scared to death.
"Everything's fine," she said to him. She took him by the hands and led him to sit on the sofa across from her. "But I need to tell you something. I'm sorry I called you home early from work, but it couldn't wait."
"Okay..."
"Tay. Honey." Natalie's smile spread even wider. "I'm pregnant."
Her words punched Taylor in the gut. In the chest. So hard that the wind was knocked out of him. He couldn't breathe. He was stunned. He looked at her, eyes, wide, but nothing came out of his mouth. He was ruined. Everything was ruined. Everything. Of course it wasn't the baby's fault. It was his own. He thought
they had finally decided to stop trying for kids. That if they hadn't had one in ten years it wasn't going to happen. So they decided to start using condoms. Taylor had been against it at first, but Natalie was insistent on it. He never understood why, he thought maybe she had gotten some kinky thrill from it, he didn't know. But they'd been using them for over a year now and with one faulty decision--and he remembered the night like it was yesterday--he decided to go without and now here they were.
"Honey?" Natalie said, shaking Taylor of his thoughts. "Aren't you excited?"
Excited? Of course he was excited. He wanted children. He always had. Sometimes he thought he was more into the idea than Natalie was. So the idea that he was about to become a father made him ecstatic. The fact that Natalie was the mother, he wasn't so sure about it. But he played it anyway. He smiled. "Uh, yeah, of course I'm excited. I mean, we've been trying for ten years. It's practically a miracle."
She grinned and nodded. "I know. I just left the doctor before I called you. I've suspected it for a few days but I wanted to be absolutely sure before I told you. I didn't want to get your hopes up and then--well, you know."
He looked at her and suddenly something in him changed. Maybe it was baby fever. A baby. They were having a baby...
And then he went on auto pilot. He couldn't control the words that left his mouth. The only thing on his brain at that very second was a baby when the words escaped his lips: "We should renew our vows."
Natalie appeared as if God himself had come down and spoken to her. "You think we should?"
"Well, yeah. New baby deserves a brand new start, right?"
Natalie was nodding in excitement. "Oh, Tay, I love you so much!"
Eagerly he fished his phone out of his pocket and stood up. "Where are you going?" she asked him.
"Oh, I'm gonna go call Ike and tell him the good news."
"Okay," she said happily. "I'm going to start planning our vow renewal. This will be so amazing!"
As he walked down the hallway to the front door, the reality began to set in. It was extremely heavy. He felt like he couldn't move. Holy shit, what had he done? He was supposed to sign separation papers tomorrow. He and Mel were supposed to start their new lives together.
Oh god, Mel. Oh god. He was going to lose her. He knew in that moment that his life, as he knew it, was completely over. Oh god, what had he done?
He sat on his front stoop and called Isaac and before he knew it, Taylor was wiping tears from his eyes. When Ike answered, he detected his brother's pain immediately. "What's going on?"
"Ike, I'm ruined," he said. "I am so completely ruined. I've lost Mel. She's gone. Well, I mean she will be once she comes home. Why, Ike? How could I have been so fucking stupid? Who the fuck am I to think I deserve to be with her after the way I treated her out by that bus ten years ago?"
"Tay, what the hell are you even talking about?"
"Nat's pregnant."
"Oh shit, Tay..."
"Yeah. And then I just fucking said, 'let's renew our vows.' Like whatever, you know? Like a fucking goddamn moron. And now she's in the fucking living room planning the ceremony. What the fuck, Ike? What the fuck? Have I been that horrible of a person that the one thing I've really only ever wanted just continually gets ripped away from me? I just don't fucking get it."
"Well...Tay...I mean a baby...that's pretty amazing. Especially since you haven't been able to have one for so long. That's something to be excited about."
"Don't get me wrong, I'm excited about the baby. I really am. But the mother is just--wrong. Is this where my life is supposed to go? Is this how--have I been chasing the wrong dream? What does this mean?"
"You know everything happens for a reason. And a baby is a blessing. But maybe this was designed for you like a test, you know?"
"A baby is one hell of a permanent test."
"It is...but I mean, like, a test in yourself. To learn who you really are. I mean you've stepped up and decided to renew your vows--less than 24 hours before you were supposed to sign separation papers because of
this baby. I see that as pretty admirable. I mean, you could have been a selfish bastard and left her anyway, pregnant and all. But you didn't."
"No, you're right. But, Ike, I--I mean you know. Without Mel, I'm nothing. I'm absolutely nothing. She is where my heart belongs."
"Well your heart is about to find a new home in about nine months."
"So I'm supposed to stay in a marriage I don't want to be in and lose the only woman I truly ever loved? Again? Ike--I can't live without her. That woman is my entire reason for even being, you know that right?"
"I know. Tay, I know. I really wish I could help you."
"She'll want nothing to do with me ever again. Ever. She'll go off and live happily ever after with Jason. Because, you know, he wouldn't make a stupid decision like deciding not to wear a fucking condom, you
know? I don't--I don't know what to do right now. I don't know how to feel. What to think. I can't be without her Ike. I don't know who I am without her." Tay sighed. "But this vow renewal is what's best for this baby. I know that. We can't bring it into a strained relationship, we just can't."
"Mel will understand."
Tay laughed, delirious. "No she won't. She'll understand the baby after she gets over the initial shock but she won't be able to handle the vow renewal. I told her, Ike. I told her I was signing the papers this week and that the process would be started when she got home. I fucking told her already. She thinks she's coming home to me, all happily ever after and shit. Ike, how many goddamn times can I ruin her life? I honestly don't think I ever deserved to be with her in the first place. Honestly."
"Now you're just beating yourself up. I don't like when you get this way, it scares me."
"I'm scared! I am so fucking scared to death. Of everything! You have no idea what I am going through! Not even close!"
"Well I'm sorry but you're going to have to man up and pull it together real fast because this baby is coming whether you like it or not. I'm going to support you one hundred percent. If you feel like a vow renewal
is best, then okay. If you decide to leave her before the baby is born, then so be it. That is completely up to you. You are my brother and I love you. Please don't do anything drastic."
After a few more minutes, Tay hung up with Ike. He sat there on the front stoop, held his head in his hands and he cried.
_____________________________________________
CHAPTER FORTY-TWO
MEL
Mel trudged down the stairs in a fluffy white robe she found in her bathroom tied over her equally as comfy
pajamas. Her pants were bright pink fleece with gray bunny rabbits all over them. They were her favorite. And with the way she was feeling that morning that was all she wanted to wear.
She neared the kitchen and smelled coffee. Surely this was her imagination playing tricks on her, as they had bought absolutely no groceries for their visit. She entered the kitchen and Zac sat at the bar having coffee over an Italian newspaper. She glanced in the garbage can and realized that Zac had snuck out that morning and done a little shopping. Bless him.
She poured herself some coffee and noticed Zac giving her the once-over and smiling as she walked past. "Nice pants," he commented.
She stopped and made a face at him. "I watched you puke your guts out last night."
"Yep. And this morning I feel wonderful!"
"Don't pick on my rabbits." She took a seat across from him at the bar. "Why are you reading that paper? The whole thing's in Italian."
"I'm not reading the whole thing. The art in the comics are pretty funny. I'm just making up my own dialogue in my head."
"Is that a joke?"
He smiled and went back to his comics. He was obviously serious. Mel rolled her eyes.
"So I think I've decided I'm not selling."
Zac looked up from his comics and smiled. "What made you change your mind?"
"Well...that comment you made yesterday about letting such a good house go to waste--that kinda stuck with me. You were right, it is a shame. And I have plenty of family around who could use this house if they ever wanted to travel here. You and Kate or Ike and Nikki, or my parents or your parents. Or Drew. Tons of people. I would definitely spend more time here."
He nodded. "That's really cool. I'd definitely want to come back here."
Mel smiled and sipped her coffee, happy with the decision she had made.
A few hours later, Zac disappeared and Mel met with the realtor. He was obviously disappointed at the fact that she chose not to sell but regardless he was helpful with the information that she did need to know, things like yard upkeep and taxes. He remembered Bernice well and spoke fondly of her, as she had apparently spent quite a lot of time in the lavish Italian villa. It turned out, he was the one who had sold her the villa in the first place and the pair became friends over time. However business was business and Mel knew he was disappointed at not getting the commission for the sale of the house. But what could she do? She loved this house.
For the rest of the day, Zac and Mel explored Florence. They shopped for souvenirs and Mel even indulged in a little fashion retail therapy. After all, who could go to Italy and not pick up a little Versace? She could get
it in the states just as easily, but it was more fun buying Italian designer clothing straight from Italy!
She managed to pick Drew up a little Versace collection of her own for her birthday, which reminded Mel that she needed to text her to let her know that she would arrive in Ireland the next afternoon.
__________________________________________________
"Up and at 'em, let's go!" Zac hovered over Mel's bed, attempting to wake her.
Mel opened her eyes, annoyed. "Zac we still have, like, three hours."
"I know. But we need to go ahead and start getting ready and heading to the airport!"
Sending Zac out the door, Mel sat up in her bed. She knew Zac was excited to see Drew. Poor guy hadn't seen her in three months. Poor guy? Hell, SHE hadn't seen Drew in three months. And she'd never been on a movie set before, so that would be exciting. And then--oh. And then there was Jason.
Mel's stomach began to churn. It wasn't like there was some kind of choice to be made or anything. She and Jason knew where they stood with each other, no question about it. She couldn't deny that if the situations
were different she'd be waiting on him in Hawaii right now. Her heart belonged to Taylor, one hundred percent and nothing would ever change that. Mel knew that and Jason knew that. But physically?
Physically there was just no getting around it. Physically Mel just wanted to tear Jason to shreds every time she laid her eyes on him. She guessed that some natural urges couldn't be helped. But acting on them
could. This would be the longest three days of her life.
With Zac on top of her at every given moment, and Mel ready to smack him, they finally made it to the airport, an entire hour before takeoff. Zac kept a constant check on the time. Mel was exhausted just watching him.
"So this flight is, what, three and a half? Four hours?" he had asked her for the second time.
"Yes," Mel sighed listlessly. She understood that he was excited. But she couldn't deny that she would be more than happy to let Drew take the reins with him for awhile. It was such a relief that she had those few days off from filming.
Mel swore she saw Zac's ears perk as they called their flight and he was off to the gate without a second glance back. Mel followed more slowly vowing never to get on another plane for as long as she lived after this trip was over with.
_________________________________________________
When you have no light to guide you
And no one to walk beside you
I Will Come To You, oh, I Will Come To You
When the night is dark and stormy
You won't have to reach out for me
I Will Come To You, oh, I Will Come To You
Sometimes when all your dreams may have seen better days
And you don't know how or why but you've lost your way
Have no fear when your tears are falling
I will hear your spirit calling
And I swear I'll be there come what may
Cause even if we can't be together
We'll be friends now and forever
And I swear that I'll be there, come what may
We all need somebody we can turn to
Someone who will always understand
So if you feel that your soul is dying
And you need the strength to keep trying
I'll reach out and take your hand
Another country, another hotel. Another clerk that Zac gave orders to. One room, two beds. This time they were able to accommodate. Mel thought she witnessed the relief physically taking over him.
The ride to the hotel was so gorgeous Mel was tempted to get out and walk the entire way just so she could take it all in. Yes, Tuscany was beautiful but it didn't hold a candle to Killarney, Ireland. It was no wonder the color green was associated with Ireland. Pictures didn't come close to doing it justice. Killarney was green and lush and absolutely beautiful. Even on an overcast day like that one was.
Mel had decided that since it was getting late in the afternoon that maybe they should wait to storm Drew's set the next morning so as to not interrupt them in the middle of their day that day. Zac was having none of it. "Well she said she put you on a list, right? And that you could come any time."
"Well, yeah, but we need to try to at least be respectful." She didn't want to add that she didn't think she was quite ready to see Jason yet either.
However Mel's arm was twisted and now they stood in front of security at the movie lot. It wasn't what Mel expected. There was a huge, warehouse-like building off to their left and the lot was full of trailers and
golf carts and one or two cars. People milled around all over, carrying props, pushing carts of more props, a few people were in costume. She felt so embarrassed just barging in like this.
After the guard checked Mel's name off he asked, "And who is this?"
"Uh, this is Zac Hanson," she told him. She didn't know why she felt surprised that she even had to tell him. She knew better. "Um, he probably isn't on the list, it's kind of--"
"Zac Hanson," the guard's thick Irish accent recited back. "Here you are."
Mel and Zac looked at each other, confused. "I thought Drew didn't know?" he asked her.
She shrugged. "I didn't tell her."
The guard didn't hear their exchange. "Mr. Hanson, we thought you would never show up. You're name's been on this list since day one!"
Mel looked over at Zac again and he shifted his weight uncomfortably. Wow. Drew had so hoped he would show up that she put him on the list the very first day. Mel was slightly flabbergasted by this and it was clear
that Zac didn't know how he was supposed to react, either.
"Here are your passes," the guard said, bringing both of them back to the real world. "Wear them around your necks the entire time and don't ever walk into filming in the middle of a scene. Video and photography is strictly prohibited and if you're caught doing either you will be escorted off the premises and permanently banned. Are we clear?"
After agreeing with the guard, he released them and they had free reign over the movie lot. They stood still for a moment and looked around, not really knowing where to start.
Suddenly Mel was sure she spotted her. Tall, long silver hair, curly down to her waist, big bouffant on top with some kind of hair accessories in. Simple jeans and hoodie. Drew walked up the steps and into her
trailer.
"Okay, she just went into her trailer," Mel said to Zac. "You stand off to the side so she can't see you and I'll go knock on her door."
Zac followed Mel obediently and Mel climbed the steps to Drew's trailer and took a deep breath before knocking. She wasn't sure why she was so nervous all of a sudden. Was she--was she star struck? By Drew???
Mel barely had two knocks in before Drew flung open her trailer door and squealed. Her appearance caught Mel off guard for a bit before she responded and stepped into the trailer and was clobbered by Drew who hugged her tight and began to bawl. "I'm so glad you're here!" she said between sobs.
Mel found herself crying as well. It was hard to say how much you missed someone sometimes until you were reunited with them. This was something that Mel and Drew had definitely learned the hard way.
After they dried themselves up, Mel took a step back and looked Drew over. "Oh my god," she laughed. "I totally wouldn't recognize you this way!"
Drew smiled, sheepishly. "I know. I kinda hate the eyebrows but I LOVE having this much hair! I'm thinking about growing mine out. Maybe getting extensions in my natural hair until it grows out."
"Oh, so that's a wig?"
"Uh, no. They seriously dyed my hair this color. And then added the hell out of some extensions and hair pieces."
"So then Magdara is wearing hoodies nowadays?"
Drew laughed. "I just wrapped filming for the day. I just came back from having my makeup removed. Oh yeah that reminds me, I have really bad news! Remember when I said I only had one day of filming this
week? Well Gerard changed it and now I'm filming every damn day this week."
"Oh no!! Tomorrow's your birthday!"
"I know! But the plus side of it is, it means we can wrap filming two weeks early. We're making amazing time!"
Mel smiled. "That's awesome!! Oh and speaking of your birthday, I brought something for you. Picked you up a little something in Italy. Let me check and see if they're bringing it around yet."
" 'They?' Is it that big?" Drew asked, intrigued.
"Oh it's plenty big," Mel said. She poked her head out the door and looked over at Zac signaling that she was ready for him.
Zac hadn't even stepped onto the first step when Drew spied him behind Mel and let out a blood-curdling scream. Mel's ears rang as Drew bounded out the door and threw herself into Zac's arms, a fresh batch of tears escaping her eyes.
Mel turned around to watch and smiled at the sight. Zac was all smiles as he hugged Drew tightly, looking completely content. It was a good several seconds before they finally let go of each other and they
automatically escaped into their own little Drew and Zac world.
Not wanting to disturb them, Mel decided she might as well do some roaming of the lot herself and hopefully find Jason while she still had a sliver of daylight left to see. She figured she better get this ice breaker out
of the way. This would be the first time since she'd met Jason that she was completely off the market and unavailable. Things would be different.
Making plans to meet back up with Zac later to go back to the hotel, Mel began to walk the lot slowly, looking around. As dusk set in she tried not to look too much like she was looking for anything specific. She
didn't want anyone to stop and ask if they could help her or anything. She wasn't in the mood to make up an answer. There was a trailer that sat right beside Drew's and a couple more after that one. She passed the first trailer, looking for a quick passageway to get behind them when she heard a cat call whistle from behind. She didn't think anything of it. Nobody knew her here and she figured it was a couple of crew members messing around.
Seeing an opening behind the trailer she just passed, she went to cut a left between them when she heard, "Hey, gorgeous! Looking for something?"
Mel stopped in her tracks and felt the blood rise in her cheeks. Blushing, she turned around. There he was, standing on the steps of the trailer. It was his trailer that she was about to cut behind. She couldn't deny the butterflies in her stomach as she laid eyes on him. She determined that would probably never change. He just had that something about him. Every woman swooned upon sight of him. They just DID.
Mel smiled as Jason flashed her his signature award-winning smile. He was bigger than she remembered him. Much bigger. And apparently jeans and hoodies were the signature uniform around here. He wore a dark blue one with white strings, zipped up half way, sleeves pushed up quarter length. Mel's weakness. His hair was longer--much longer. She wasn't sure if it was all real or not, but it hung loose and natural past his
shoulders.
As he sauntered--Jason sauntered, he did not walk--toward her, Mel's uterus swooned. Wait, her--did she? Did her UTERUS literally swoon at this? Completely confused with herself and that thought popping into her
head she decided that yes, her uterus had in fact swooned. And she was okay with this. The funny phrase actually brought her back to reality and she was grateful for it.
When Jason reached Mel, he scooped her up and wrapped her into a tight hug. She wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him back, immediately wishing that she hadn't. This was strange, it was--she felt guilty. For both Tay and Jason. She was so completely confused...
Jason's voice interrupted her thoughts when he broke their hug. "You know, I'm not the kind of guy that normally does that whole mushy missing people shit. I mean when you see them, you see them, right? But I really have missed you."
Mel blushed and smiled at him. "I've, uh, I've missed you, too."
He smirked at her. "Seriously?"
"Of course I have! I was looking for you, wasn't I?"
Jason looked amused. "Oh you were, huh?"
"Well...yeah...I wanted a tour of the set and I thought 'Who better to be my tour guide than some random Hawaiian?' And then you showed up!"
"Right..." he smiled and put his arm around her shoulders and they began to walk. "So what do you want to see first?"
"I've never been on a movie set before. Surprise me."
"Well you've pretty much seen the outside. This is about it. We've been on location a few times in the country sides of Killarney but most of it happens in that building right there," he said, pointing to the
warehouse-like building. "There's a lot of green screen stuff in this movie. A lot of CGI."
"Some movies suck with a lot of CGI," Mel said.
Jason chuckled. "Not this one."
They walked a few more steps and Mel had just begun feeling comfortable with the situation when Jason stopped walking and suddenly said, "Yanno, let's just--let's just go ahead and address the big white elephant in the room. Let's just get it over with."
Mel's heart stopped. She knew this would have to happen eventually, she just wasn't ready for it now. "Um, I...okay...
"I'm happy for you," he continued. "Things seem to be going the way you wanted--the way they're meant to go. I mean, he's a pretty stand-up guy, right?"
"Uh, yeah..." Mel had no idea what she was supposed to say here. Was she supposed to say anything? Or did Jason just feel the need to get things off his chest?
He sighed. "I don't know...I don't really know how to act with you right now. It's weird, I--we've had a very sexual relationship. It's, like, what we DO. You know? And when you mix that with the friendship that we have--it kind of starts feeling like a relationship. I mean we can say all day long that it's not and we're just friends and shit, but you can't deny what it feels like. You know? And it's weird. I don't think I--I'm not sure I know how to be just friends with you."
Mel wasn't sure why, but she felt devastated. Crushed. She felt like a part of her heart had been ripped up, stomped on, and then torn to shreds and lit on fire. She hadn't wanted to cry but emotions were running high
at the moment and she started to sniffle. Her eyes began to fill with tears and her voice started to crack as she said, "I didn't want this to be weird."
Jason's tone turned to immediate regret. Quickly he took her face in his hands and turned her face toward him. "No no no no no," he said, shaking his head. "I didn't mean--Mel, I promise I'm not going anywhere. I promise. I'm here for you no matter what, you know that. You know that. Please don't cry. Please? I can't
take it. I just mean--I just mean our relationship's gonna have to change. Okay? That's all."
Tears still running down her cheeks, Mel sniffled again. "But what if--what if it is weird and you don't--you're the only person that keeps me sane sometimes in this crazy shit I'm going through and--what if you decide you don't want to be there anymore?"
"Mel. No. Come on. Look, I'm not always going to be thrilled with every decision you make. And you're not always going to be thrilled with every decision I make. That's just the nature of the beast. We both know what the reality is here. And I've chos--I have accepted it. I only want you to be happy. That's it. And if being with him is what it takes then that makes me happy, too. Okay?"
Mel bawled and shoved her face in his chest. It was the only part of his body her face would reach. "I was so afraid to lose you," she said, her voice muffled in his hoodie. "I knew. Jason, I knew what things were beginning to feel like with us. And I know you already knew when it happened but I was so afraid to tell you face to face because I was afraid--"
He hugged her back and kissed the top of her head. "Everything is okay, I promise." Then he chuckled lightly. "We just--we just gotta try not to end up in bed together."
Mel laughed, beginning to feel better. "I think we've only done it in a bed once."
"Oh yeah..."
Smiling, she pulled away from him and wiped the tears from her face. "Goddamn I'm such a fucking girl. Go show me this damn movie set."
_____________________________________________________________
I thought I was so tough
Who knew you could play so rough
I've got to slow down cause you spun my head around
You read me so well
You make it hard to tell
Why all my words fail when I stop, you begin
To Cut Right Through Me
To Cut Right Through Me
I can't explain how you do what you're doing
You Cut Right Through Me
You Cut Right Through Me
I can't turn away, I don't know how you do it
I say a word and say too much
You take a piece of everything you touch
You Cut Right Through Me, yeah
Without a second look
You caught me on your hook
I've never felt like that, gave me a heart attack
I can't recover
You're not like the others
It doesn't matter where I start, you begin
Like a mystery, you're alluring
You're disarming me, and you know it
TAYLOR
It was a rare occasion, a very rare occasion, when Natalie called Taylor home early from the studio. His heart pounded when he walked in his front door, not knowing what he was walking into. She had been unusually quiet lately, not mentioning even once if she had actually seen the pictures from Majestic.
A light bulb immediately went off in his head. That was it. That was exactly what this was. She had seen them and she was pissed off. That's why she had been so quiet. And she was doing it. Goddamn it, she was doing it. She was filing for divorce. The very thing he had feared would happen was actually happening before he had his chance to do it first. He had always known--ALWAYS known--that there was something conniving and manipulative about her and he always wondered exactly how far she would take it one day. And now he knew.
He rounded the corner into their living room and Natalie stood from the sofa, a big smile spreading across her face. He knew her. Her beautiful smile was genuine. Now Taylor was as surprised and confused as he'd ever been. He rounded the sofa and stood in front of her. "Is everything okay?"
As she smiled, her eyes sparkled. Taylor's heart pounded even harder. He tried desperately to play the possible upcoming scenario out in his head so that he would have a reaction prepared but the truth was he had no idea what scenario was coming. He was scared to death.
"Everything's fine," she said to him. She took him by the hands and led him to sit on the sofa across from her. "But I need to tell you something. I'm sorry I called you home early from work, but it couldn't wait."
"Okay..."
"Tay. Honey." Natalie's smile spread even wider. "I'm pregnant."
Her words punched Taylor in the gut. In the chest. So hard that the wind was knocked out of him. He couldn't breathe. He was stunned. He looked at her, eyes, wide, but nothing came out of his mouth. He was ruined. Everything was ruined. Everything. Of course it wasn't the baby's fault. It was his own. He thought
they had finally decided to stop trying for kids. That if they hadn't had one in ten years it wasn't going to happen. So they decided to start using condoms. Taylor had been against it at first, but Natalie was insistent on it. He never understood why, he thought maybe she had gotten some kinky thrill from it, he didn't know. But they'd been using them for over a year now and with one faulty decision--and he remembered the night like it was yesterday--he decided to go without and now here they were.
"Honey?" Natalie said, shaking Taylor of his thoughts. "Aren't you excited?"
Excited? Of course he was excited. He wanted children. He always had. Sometimes he thought he was more into the idea than Natalie was. So the idea that he was about to become a father made him ecstatic. The fact that Natalie was the mother, he wasn't so sure about it. But he played it anyway. He smiled. "Uh, yeah, of course I'm excited. I mean, we've been trying for ten years. It's practically a miracle."
She grinned and nodded. "I know. I just left the doctor before I called you. I've suspected it for a few days but I wanted to be absolutely sure before I told you. I didn't want to get your hopes up and then--well, you know."
He looked at her and suddenly something in him changed. Maybe it was baby fever. A baby. They were having a baby...
And then he went on auto pilot. He couldn't control the words that left his mouth. The only thing on his brain at that very second was a baby when the words escaped his lips: "We should renew our vows."
Natalie appeared as if God himself had come down and spoken to her. "You think we should?"
"Well, yeah. New baby deserves a brand new start, right?"
Natalie was nodding in excitement. "Oh, Tay, I love you so much!"
Eagerly he fished his phone out of his pocket and stood up. "Where are you going?" she asked him.
"Oh, I'm gonna go call Ike and tell him the good news."
"Okay," she said happily. "I'm going to start planning our vow renewal. This will be so amazing!"
As he walked down the hallway to the front door, the reality began to set in. It was extremely heavy. He felt like he couldn't move. Holy shit, what had he done? He was supposed to sign separation papers tomorrow. He and Mel were supposed to start their new lives together.
Oh god, Mel. Oh god. He was going to lose her. He knew in that moment that his life, as he knew it, was completely over. Oh god, what had he done?
He sat on his front stoop and called Isaac and before he knew it, Taylor was wiping tears from his eyes. When Ike answered, he detected his brother's pain immediately. "What's going on?"
"Ike, I'm ruined," he said. "I am so completely ruined. I've lost Mel. She's gone. Well, I mean she will be once she comes home. Why, Ike? How could I have been so fucking stupid? Who the fuck am I to think I deserve to be with her after the way I treated her out by that bus ten years ago?"
"Tay, what the hell are you even talking about?"
"Nat's pregnant."
"Oh shit, Tay..."
"Yeah. And then I just fucking said, 'let's renew our vows.' Like whatever, you know? Like a fucking goddamn moron. And now she's in the fucking living room planning the ceremony. What the fuck, Ike? What the fuck? Have I been that horrible of a person that the one thing I've really only ever wanted just continually gets ripped away from me? I just don't fucking get it."
"Well...Tay...I mean a baby...that's pretty amazing. Especially since you haven't been able to have one for so long. That's something to be excited about."
"Don't get me wrong, I'm excited about the baby. I really am. But the mother is just--wrong. Is this where my life is supposed to go? Is this how--have I been chasing the wrong dream? What does this mean?"
"You know everything happens for a reason. And a baby is a blessing. But maybe this was designed for you like a test, you know?"
"A baby is one hell of a permanent test."
"It is...but I mean, like, a test in yourself. To learn who you really are. I mean you've stepped up and decided to renew your vows--less than 24 hours before you were supposed to sign separation papers because of
this baby. I see that as pretty admirable. I mean, you could have been a selfish bastard and left her anyway, pregnant and all. But you didn't."
"No, you're right. But, Ike, I--I mean you know. Without Mel, I'm nothing. I'm absolutely nothing. She is where my heart belongs."
"Well your heart is about to find a new home in about nine months."
"So I'm supposed to stay in a marriage I don't want to be in and lose the only woman I truly ever loved? Again? Ike--I can't live without her. That woman is my entire reason for even being, you know that right?"
"I know. Tay, I know. I really wish I could help you."
"She'll want nothing to do with me ever again. Ever. She'll go off and live happily ever after with Jason. Because, you know, he wouldn't make a stupid decision like deciding not to wear a fucking condom, you
know? I don't--I don't know what to do right now. I don't know how to feel. What to think. I can't be without her Ike. I don't know who I am without her." Tay sighed. "But this vow renewal is what's best for this baby. I know that. We can't bring it into a strained relationship, we just can't."
"Mel will understand."
Tay laughed, delirious. "No she won't. She'll understand the baby after she gets over the initial shock but she won't be able to handle the vow renewal. I told her, Ike. I told her I was signing the papers this week and that the process would be started when she got home. I fucking told her already. She thinks she's coming home to me, all happily ever after and shit. Ike, how many goddamn times can I ruin her life? I honestly don't think I ever deserved to be with her in the first place. Honestly."
"Now you're just beating yourself up. I don't like when you get this way, it scares me."
"I'm scared! I am so fucking scared to death. Of everything! You have no idea what I am going through! Not even close!"
"Well I'm sorry but you're going to have to man up and pull it together real fast because this baby is coming whether you like it or not. I'm going to support you one hundred percent. If you feel like a vow renewal
is best, then okay. If you decide to leave her before the baby is born, then so be it. That is completely up to you. You are my brother and I love you. Please don't do anything drastic."
After a few more minutes, Tay hung up with Ike. He sat there on the front stoop, held his head in his hands and he cried.
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